Saturday, October 29, 2005

Twas the nightmare before Christmas

Let me ask you something. Don’t you just hate those fucks who have their christmas decorations up already? I'm not talking about your lazy neighbor who has had them up all year anyway, I'm talking about retailers. We’re not even out of Halloween yet and the carols are starting and the decorations are up.

Makes me want to punch them in the head with that toaster they're sellin'.

With the night of a gazillion demons fast approaching on Monday, a recent study concluded what scares people the most.

Fear of heights was #1. No surprise there. I get freaked out when I put my shoes on. Needless to say the platform 70's were the worst years of my life.

#2 germs/disease. Ok I guess with all this talk about a pandemic and Bird flu, people are a little on the edge. I find the best way to show someone you are pissed off at them these days is just to sneeze in their general direction.

#3 spiders. Hey as long as there's a tissue close by, no problem, but some members of the populace are still in a tizzy over these little arachnids.

#4 needles. Pesonally I don't have a problem with this either. In fact the Doctor can just leave the damn thing dangling there scraping bone for all I care....I just made you squirm didn't I?

#5 flying. I thought this would've ranked higher given the world we now live in, but what do I know.

I was a little disappointed that my #1 fear was not listed....the fear of intimacy, It's right up there with fear of having my dick cut off with a pair of scissors as I sleep, but that's another post.

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