Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's evil

And you need these.

Interactive hangover cures.

Or maybe this one should have been first? New Year's Eve girls to stay away from, or go after. I guess it depends on alcohol consumption and if you can keep up with the craziness.

And finally the top 10 self improvement resolutions. Besides not drinking so much and staying away from girls like the ones in the above link.

Have fun tonight. All the best y'all.

Happy Birthday Mayor

There's a very special Mayor who has a Blogging birthday coming up. None other than the Mayor of Mitchieville who started blogging four years ago and has like a billion hits a day now, contrary to the 30 odd thousand I've had over the lifetime of my existense when I started a few days later.

In fact....wait a's now.

Happy Bithday Mayor!

And yes, I got a deal on the cake.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Year end by the numbers

The 11 manliest cocktails in the world. All right! Irish Car Bombs. Yum!

The 12 most common beer myths.

The 10 funniest music videos of 08. You just knew "Jizz in my Pants" would be #1

Top 25 songs of 2008 mashed up.

September, October

It was a dark time for me my friends and it showed in my lack of blogging, but from the lack of posts a few stood out.

The franchises to sell luxury accommodations to the afterlife, for one.

And the rant where I let Direct Energy have it, the other.

Apart from that, you'd have to travel back to a time where I didn't Blog at all to find slimmer picking.

Like I said, it was a dark time.

Monday, December 29, 2008

The best rollercoaster souvenir photos of 08 (part 2)

And the winner is:

July, August

It was all Pottahawk, Pottahawk, Pottahawk where there were more tops off than ketchup bottles in a French-fry factory.

And from the amount of hits, Pottahawk, Pottahawk, Pottahawk was on your mind too.

Yet there were some other cool posts like:

Women discussing what semen tastes like.

Amazing yard sale finds.

And shit I'm glad they didn't make when I was a baby.

But my all-out fave post for the summer had to be....

The Strangedaze television guide for the fall season. Although it was more of an inside joke than good readin'.

Honorable mention

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Saturday, December 27, 2008

March, April

Here are some of the best posts from the spring.

Erotic Falconry

The shopping cart whisperer.

Hands down this post was the one to make me laugh the most.

Close, but no cigar

Some of the albums that were under consideration for Dad's desert island records, but were ultimately rejected for one reason of another.

Friday, December 26, 2008

January, February

Of the many posts during these ho-hum months of the new year I explored the usual crude filth and offensive material.

But of all the posts during the first 60 days of 08, my fave had to be the New Parenting Guide as part of the "You need to know" series.

The chart says it all

As we pass by another Christmas and inch toward the end of another year it's time to recap the Strangedaze posts of significance, which shouldn't be too hard as there weren't that many.

It's also a time of the year to reflect on the best and worst of other events and try to present them all here.

However, you should know 2008 wasn't a particularly kind year for me and I for one, can't wait to see it finish.

The best way to sum up the year for me? The Strangedaze chart says it all my friends.....the chart says it all.

Dad's desert island collection #50

Man! 50 records! That's a lot to be taking with you.

And now for the punchline:

He doesn't have a record player.

Filling the gap

I was at a Christmas party on the weekend and I heard a joke that I thought was pretty funny. Technically it wasn't a Christmas joke, so I've waited until the day after.

Yup, it was more of a Boxing Day joke.

I would like to share it with you now.

A boy, alerted by loud noises coming from his parents bedroom, walks in on his mother and father having sex. The boy is traumatized, his mother is in a leather corset, tied up, with ball gag in her mouth and his father is wearing assless chaps and spanking her with a wooden paddle as he enters her from behind.

The parents, embarrassed, demand the boy return to his room.

The boy shuts the door and leaves. He can hear his mom and dad giggling as he walks away from them down the hall.

Later the boy's father feels he should go and explain a few things to his son about what has happened.

As he approaches the boys door he hears grunting and groaning from with in.

The father thrusts open the door to see his son with his pants around his ankles just giving it to his grandmother from behind.

The father horrified, yells out, "What the hell is going on here?"

The boy stops and turns to his father and says, "NOT SO FUNNY WHEN IT'S YOUR MOTHER, IS IT?"

Thursday, December 25, 2008

So this is Christmas


And the bonus number is

Top 20 Jesus songs.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Last shopping day before Christmas

You don't want to be like Hitler.

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #17

How cool is this? Blast Knuckles for $50.00.

Now you can punch someone and send high voltage into them at the same time.

Even Hitler would want to spend the coin on one of these babies.

I wonder if you had two, if it would also substitute as a defibrillator after their heart stops....Clear!

Twas the night before Christmas on the links

Tons of new movies are always released on Christmas; fluff family crap, Oscar contenders, some even cool and worth seeing. Here's one that may get lost in the shuffle. The Spirit....of Christmas.

Santa Sutra.....that is all.

How the Japanese apparently celebrate Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #16

Hey if you're starting to panic because you still haven't finished your X-mas shopping, why not consider an item like....uh...this...whatever it is....jack-in-the-box-smiley-penis-type-thing.

Loads of fun....and I use the term loosely....for the whole family.

2 shopping days left until Christmas

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #15

For the girl who has everything....well, almost everything, why not get her the one thing she doesn't have anymore.

An artificial hymen.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #14

Most males I know will use this everyday. Sometimes three and four times a day.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #13

You can always give the gift of music. And remember you get to choose the artist.

Whether it's this for little Johnny the paperboy.

Or this for Gramma Emma you can always find something.

"Fuck a Kitten Up".

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #12

How about the wheelchair bound Becky doll? If for no other reason than to snag the tiny handicapped sticker for your car windshield.

And...if the kid who gets the gift complains, you can always say, "At least you can walk you selfish little fuck!"

Cool X-mas food ideas

Surprise them and delight them all with a recipe on how to make candied bacon ice cream.

It might be the final catalyst to make that annoying fat-bastard Uncle of yours have the massive coronary everyone has wished secretly for.

Going for the one

Guaranteed the silver medal at least.

Yesterday I posted four times. Unheard of unless it's Pottahawk in July. This has caused some to muse if I'm making a, last-ditch, conscious effort to go for the personal best record of 415 posts in a year.

Back at the end of July the mark seemed easily attainable after posting 80 plus blogs in that month alone. However, I hit, what the marathon runners call, "the place where you feel you can go no further" and my posts dwindled.- You know, they should find a shorter description for that term.

Yet, here I am at the end of all things '08 and still within pecking distance of the almighty mark and 11 days remaining.

After X-mas it's all recap, so why not take a stab at it?

Friday, December 19, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #11

Underwear for Christmas is no big whoop, but Samuri underwear? Now that's a whole different ball of bees my friend.

Hope someone picks me up a pair. I'm a little tired of scratching my arse and touching skin....or worse.

Let it snow by the numbers

Snowmageddon is finally here. Fortunately I don't have anywhere to go, so I can sit in doors and wait until I have to dig myself out.

If you're like me, with nothing better to do, perhaps a little snow-day by the numbers is just for you.

The 10 most depressing board games.

The 12 most offensive Christmas songs.

8 Guinness world records that didn't happen.

Adding together

I don't usually post ads here- see Adsense debacle, but I found this witty and in spirit with the season.....well, my season anyway. So now it's here.

Dad's desert island collection #49

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #10

But is it a gift for that special someone, or really a gift for you?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Last minute Christmas gift ideas #9

Somehow I believe there will be plenty of these 911 plush dolls left on the shelf. But it does prevent people from regifting, just out of guilt.

9 shopping days left til Christmas

So much for the record

In my first year of blogging I posted 414 times which was curious since I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Some of you may say, I still have no idea, but that is neither here nor there.

To this day, the first year of Strangedaze is still the personal record to beat.

Caught up in the Pottahawk hoopla this year I posted 73 times in July. I think it was fair to say, I was not only on target to beat 414 for the year, but obliterate it.

Then I hit a wall in August. I watched my numbers drop. I watched my desire to blog drop. I watched my ability to string a sentence together dwindle. Only recently have I returned to a more consistent flow of blogging every day, but the damage is done.

Now I would need to post 39 more times in 15 days to better a once attainable mark. Hell, I`m still eight away from eclipsing my second best of 384.

I could always cut and paste this post another 20 times, or so, but that would be cheating and besides, I`ve already put you to sleep with this rant.

To echo the sentiment a friend of mine once had on her vanity plate that was unfortunately misspelled: WHO CARS

Monday, December 15, 2008

Christmas gift ideas #8

I get it! You're a kid. Christmas is great cause you get Guitar Hero and Xbox and all kinds of cool shit. Yet, Christmas sucks. You have no money. You can't but any presents for others which is OK by you, but you're worried it might affect future cool gifts if you don't make an effort to give some sort of gift.

Still, poor you, you blew all your allowance on comic books, junk food and weed and now, even the Dollar Store is beyond your budget.

Don't worry. I'm here to help you, you snot-nosed brat.

Parents love when you make stuff for them.....wait...let me rephrase that: Parents don't really love when you make stuff for them, but will act like they do. After all, you made an effort, right?

So use your talents and create. Write them a story. Like this one. and your problems are solved.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas gift ideas #7

So people in your household like to read do they? I know GIGC devours fiction like a school of piranhas going after a shin bone. She also sucks Popsicles like she's late with the rent money, but I can't get her Popsicles for Christmas- they make a hell of a mess under the tree.

So the gift of literature is always an excellent alternative.

If you're in the same boat and want to get that avid reader in your family something unique they don't already have in their collection, here are some suggestions.