Monday, December 31, 2007

Tasteless cartoon of the year

Sure I could go back through the archives and pick out a cartoon that stood above the rest in repulsive humor.....or I could simply blog a couple of cartoons, so vile, so tasteless, I have purposely avoided displaying them on these pages for fear of the negative backlash.

In fact I vowed I'd never post them. So if I do can see my dilemma. I could be opening up one of those space-time-continuum thingies.

However I know out there somewhere, there's a bunch of sick bastards who really want to see these and hell, I've probably got the rest of you wondering what's so wicked about these posts.

Curiosity killed the cat.....

This year is nearly over thank god!

And for me, this pretty much sums up the last half of 2007.

5500 fucks in 55 minutes

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Drum roll please

Here it is my friends. My most favorite post of last year and probably yours too because it had you jumping for joy at Ol' Strange's demise.

It was sent to me by Bob Noxious and I got quite a giggle from it. Enough so it rules as my fave post of 07.

Click this and it will all be self explanatory.

Another drum roll please

Although I haven't seen him much because the bastard had me transferred to a remote office in the Congo, I would be remiss if I didn't wish the Mayor of Mitchieville a happy Blog anniversary.

So from all here at Strangedaze, (Mitchieville field office # 8754239): Dickie Sanchez, Bob Noxious, Jose Marrone, GIGC, Babosa, Yours truly and OBJ......OK maybe not OBJ....he's in training for the Great Wing-off of '08.....a happy blogiversary.

Now send us some hits! Or at the least food and fresh water. Dickie had to have his leg amputated after being bit by one of the wait.....OBJ bit him.

Friday, December 28, 2007

New release this past year

I tells ya....this is one of the weekly features I really enjoy. Why? because it takes me about 4 seconds to post and then I have the rest of the day to myself.

Yet, looking back there have been some extremely funny album covers over the past year and it is difficult to choose a favorite. I will have to blog multiple choices and give this post another 30 seconds or so of my time.

Favorite new releases of 07

Thursday, December 27, 2007

It's all about sex

Many times this year when it looked like I was getting boring, I could always pull readership back in by posting something obscure and revolving around sex.

Blogs like how to stuff your crotch for the ladies, how to make your own condom dance party, the top ten foreign objects inserted into the human body or, during penis week, how about the guy with the iron schlong?

And don't get me started on 2 girls 1 cup. Although the song about it was hilarious and easier on the eyes.

The following was a survey I have posted for, vagina-card-carrying, partners in an effort to better myself and regain my lofty sexual prowess and my favorite.

1- Dear female: You have just had sex with me. Was it a disappointing experience?


2- During foreplay, which of the following breast-stimulation techniques did I employ?

a) The Tune in Tokyo
b) The Kneading Dough
c) The Soft Caress
d) The Obligatory Nipple Suck

3- You realized I was interested in having sexual intercourse with you when I...

a) Poured you a glass of wine and dimmed the lights
b) Came out of the bathroom naked
c) Put on porn "by mistake"
d) Announced, "It's not going to suck itself"
e) Drugged your drink

4- When I first moved my hand downtown, you thought

a) "Don't stop"
b) "Please stop"
c) I'd dropped a Cheeto.

5- Seeing me naked for the first time made you...

a) Hot with anticipation
b) Jealous of my boobs
c) Ask whether you could braid my back hair
d) Wish you had a smaller vagina

6- When you were kind enough to give me oral attention, I...

a) Made sure to return the favor later in the evening
b) Grabbed your ears as if I was hoisting the Stanley Cup
c) Repeatedly shouted directions at you
d) Purposefully misled you about the timing of my climax

7- I treated your clitoris like it was a:

a) Spittoon
b) Speed bag
c) Delicate mandolin
d) Paper triangle football

8- Which words best describe my penis?

a) Punishing
b) Nice
c) Disappointing
d) Weird
e) What penis?

9- In my mind, the sex lasted for hours. In reality, it took up:

a) 1 min. - less than 2 min.
b) 2 min. - less than 3 min.
c) 3 min - less than 4 min.
d) Greater than 4 min.

10- How many orgasms did you have?

a) Multiple
b) One
c) Zero
d) One - in the bathroom afterward riding my electric shaver.

11- Over the course of the night, the most inappropriate thing I tried to use on you was...

a) A cheesy pickup line
b) A Black Mambo vibrator with crocodile ribs
c) The shocker
d) The sleeper hold
e) The Dirty Sanchez

12- Did I say anything embarrassing at the point of the orgasm?

Yes, and here it is (please spell phonetically in the comment box)

13- During our five minutes or less of intercourse, how many positions did I bust out?

a) 1
b) 2 - 3
c) 4 - 6
d) 7 or more
e) You don't know. The pain of your ankles up behind your ears was too excruciating.

14- You cried during intercourse. Why?

a) I was crushing you
b) I was pulling your hair
c) It was just that big
d) I brought back painful memories of that time you were with your uncle in the woodshed.
e) It wasn't tears - it was my sweat that had fallen onto your face

15- Immediately after finishing our act of lovemaking, I...

a) Tried to high-five you
b) Fell asleep on the wet spot
c) Cuddled you attentively
d) Turned the TV back on so I could watch Heroes

16- What best describes the view you had when you woke up?

a) A sleeping Adonis
b) A puddle of drool
c) My Star Wars bedsheets
d) My best friend sneaking out from his hiding place in the closet with the video camera

Thank you for participating in this survey. Please leave your answers in the comment box and I promise I won't comment on your box.

Honourable mention for sex post of the year:

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

All I wanted for Christmas was more Pottahawk

Not exactly what I had in mind.

You're getting warmer......

Now that's more like it.

But since I can't have it, I'll take the opportunity to start a week of regurgitated material from the past year and tell you these posts are somehow funny and deserving of an encore on the strangedaze blog.

You know what? You might as well consider today as the first day of all that, with my fave pics from Pottahawk '07 and my fave Youtube from last year......this gem, brcause my first choice "Dick in a Box" is no longer available.

Man, this is begining to resemble boxing day.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated

Twas the night before Christmas and I have a humorous story to tell.

First ting you should know is never let GIGC mix you a drink. On an evening over the last weekend, I forgot the golden rule and allowed GIGC to make me, not one, but two Caesars spicy as hell.

By the time I was finished the second beverage the 1/2 bottle of vodka had kicked in and I was numb. In fact I said to GIGC, "I'm numb", or "urrrrghhhh"- something to that effect. Perhaps I was even drooling.

The important thing is, she got the message and proceeded to text the humor of my situation with a mutual friend of ours

Second thing you need to know is GIGC is not high on dropping symbols and text-lingo in her ;-)

So all our friend gets is, "Strange is numb!"

We started to watch a movie....well, GIGC watched, I was near comatose and........oh...

The third thing you need to know is, never interrupt GIGC in the middle of a movie. Which is exactly what our friend did when she got the text.

GIGC: "Hello!"

MF: (It stands for Mutual Friend not what you're thinking.) "It's me MF."

GIGC: "Can I call you back? I'm busy right now."

MF: "Is Strange OK?"

GIGC: "Yeah, he just had two Caesars." and she abruptly hung up.

Except MF didn't hear "Caesars", she heard, "Seizures", and began to panic.

Within minutes everyone from friends to the local undertaker were calling to get an update on my deathly prognosis. I half expected paramedics to bust through the door at any given second to administer CPR to my groggy, drooling ass and don't be surprised if this shows up in one of my books somewhere in the future.

Merry Christmas to all bloggers and readers and to all a good night.

Tasteless cartoon of the week

Friday, December 21, 2007

New release this week

This gift giving season why not give the gift that says, "I'm not really crazy about your sorry fact, I'm hoping I don't have to see you again until next Christmas if ever!" Give them, Happy Holi-dee by Lenny Dee

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Xmas bloockbusters we didn't see

With the overwhelming success of I Am Legend at the box office last weekend I thought it might be cool to post another movie that didn't quit make the grade for your holiday dollars.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Merry Ho-Ho from Private Sector

And to prove how much we love the yule tide season, here are some pictures of us when we were young on Santa's knee.

Merry Christmas from Stuart (guitar/ vox)

Bob (keyboards)- Yes, he still has the outfit.

Brian (drums/ vox)

Don Bon (bass/ vox)

Strange (vox)

And let us not forget our light guy extraordinaire- Blood Monkey.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Tasteless cartoon of the week

Yup, that's tasteless all right......even for me.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Christmas by the numbers

Don't ask me why I'm posting this early. By all rights I should still be in a river of drool on my pillow after another incredible annual Christmas party at Babosa and OBJ's where I survived more Irish Car Bombs than a Belfast deli. However in an attempt not to push my brain to overload I will keep it simple. In the spirit of Christmas I thought it might be nice to do a numbers strictly related to the yule tide here goes.......

6 Christmas movies or specials we'd like to see.

The 10 most annoying Christmas songs of all time. Is Christmas Vacation in there? Really it's only annoying after GIGC sings it for the 50th straight time.......WTF the link isn't working?

Please accept my apology and this link to Robot Chicken instead.

The 10 farts of Christmas.....OK I realize I'm stretching now.

Top 10 woman's mud wrestling videos. Hey, I don't know about your Christmas but this is mine.

Friday, December 14, 2007

New release this week

Not since Abba have I been this scared.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The final countdown?

No, not to the New Year, but Private Sector really needs to think about playing some more shows......

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

That's not going to happen live is it?

I know you're all anxious to see some live footage from the Private Sector gig a few weeks back, but unfortunately you'll have to wait while we compile the miles of footage and be patient for Francis Ford Coppola to finish editing it. In the meantime Sector drummer Brian Christopher has kindly submitted a reasonable facsimile of the blessed event.

Probably because the singer in the video is wearing the same shirt I did....

However, outside of our dear comrade Justin, who will probably masturbate through the entire Gentile Giant footage, I doubt it will quench many pallets.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

X-mas gift ideas

Still don't know what to buy that spoiled little brat....I mean darling little child for Christmas? Then consider some of these ideas sent to me by Babosa

Monday, December 10, 2007

Sunday, December 09, 2007

That's the spirit

With Christmas just around the corner it's time we started to get into the spirit. Because everyone knows we can only be nice to our fellow man a few weeks out of the year and then it's back to telling people to "go fuck yourself!"

Well...those few weeks are nearly here. What better way to start than watching the original South Park Christmas trailer.

What do you mean you're not going to click the link? You've already seen it?

I bet you haven't watched it with French subtitles?

You have?

Go fuck yourself!

Friday, December 07, 2007

The booze can-can

It's Friday which usually means a long weekend of drinking is just ahead. But why just crash in a pool of your own vomit when it's all said and done?

Hook up with others like yourself for some after hours boozing fun and double vision when the bars close down. note: the Max Webster reference. (Max Webster were like the anti- Kanye West of their day)

Here's a great site from our good friends at the Modern Drunkard to direct you in the best after hour bar

Womanizing 101

Actually there is no such site. I thought there would be, what with my hero Governor Swartzenegger and all, but no such luck. So boys, you're on your own.

Or you could just pick up a copy of has John Barrymore in it. He was like the Kanye West of his time.

Digging all the way to....Scotland?

Chinese Buffet anyone? Here's a list of them. Strange, but my search yielded a restaurant in Glasgow, Scotland.....hmmm....what to have the deep-fried thistle or the sweet and sour haggis?

New release this week

Lately friends, I've had a hard time focusing- too much racing through my mind I guess? That, mixed with recent health problems, womanizing, excessive boozing, and Chinese Buffet binging, have made me a sad state.

If you're like me then perhaps you need this album to help return you to a peaceful centre.

From the same people who brought you "Teaching Spanish to Your Dog", and, "Yoga for Gay Bikers", and "Kanye West- Man or Myth", I give you "Breathing Exercises in Asthma and Bronchitis".

Don't know how it'll help for the womanizing, excessive boozing, and Chinese Buffet binging, but it's worth a shot and it's already given me ideas for what I want to do to my hair.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Tuesday is Evel

It's Tuesday and I'm still thanking people for the Private Sector show last Friday. However, I did notice the crowd was a little less than we had hoped for. There were people who had sworn their allegiance to being there, yet, bailed at the last moment.

After further review I now understand they were distraught over the recent demise of one, Evel Knievel, who died the very same day as our performance.

So as a tribute, today, Evel has the numbers all to himself.

10 great Evel Knievel videos.

Monday, December 03, 2007