Saturday, October 29, 2011

Halloween and the numbers

The 50 scariest movies of all time.

50 awesome Halloween pumpkin carvings.

25 funny kid's Halloween costumes.

Inappropriate pages from school books #13

The most disgusting horror films #1

August Underground's Mordum

And then we have August Underground's Mordum. This shot-on-video 2003 flick is so grimy it makes Bloodsucking Freaks look like Avatar. Made in Pittsburgh by a group of utterly depraved madmen, the story follows three friends as they embark upon a serial killing rampage through the city. There's something of a plot involving a love triangle, but it's mostly just an excuse to let director Fred Vogel work out his darkest impulses on film. And these impulses are dark. This movie will make you need a hot bleach shower just from the first ten minutes, and if you make it to the end you have a stronger stomach than I. A sequel, August Underground's Penance, followed.

Films that didn't make the cut: A Serbian Film: Not sure I would class it as a horror film, but disgusting...yes. The film crosses the line a few times. Warning: you can't unring that bell. Best death scene: Erect penis in the eye. That should give you some idea of what to expect.

Useful or useless Halloween links

What the Halloween candy you give out says about you.

Zombocalypse the action game.

Guide to the Zombie apocalypse. You know, since you've played the game.

Ready to play dressup

The best Halloween costumes from around the Internet.

Sexy body paint Halloween costumes.

The 10 most ridiculously costumed criminals.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The most disgusting horror films #2

Blood Sucking Freaks

The thing about Bloodsucking Freaks that makes it so hard to watch isn't that the effects are so good - in fact, it's quite the opposite. The gore in this notorious 1976 cheapie looks horrible. The dismemberments, skull-drilling, and other tortures depicted in the movie are utterly unbelievable, but it's the balls-out sadism with which it's presented that puts it over the top. The cast of Bloodsucking Freaks - including the degenerate midget Ralphus, (Louie de Jesus)—look like they were just plucked from a Times Square torture dungeon and told to act naturally. It could almost be a documentary, but with spawning some of our best 80's catch phrases like, "chainsaw's for ankles", and "fingers for backgammon", how could it not appear near the top of the list.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Inappropriate pages from school books #12

The most disgusting horror films #3

Bone Sickness

So I'm at the Bovine Sex Club one night and doesn't this film start playing on the monitors behind the bar. I was hooked and you now have #3 on the list.

Back to the world of the zombies with the very gruesome Bone Sickness. The story is simple: a young man is afflicted with a bizarre, unexplained disorder that is causing his bones to decay. Without health insurance, he's forced to turn to a mortician's assistant who is devising peculiar home remedies from corpses. Yeah, that sounds sanitary. Before you know it, those defiled corpses are rising from the grave to get a little payback, and things only get grosser from there.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The most disgusting horror films #4


I know, you're wondering after yesterday's Human Centipede, how am I going to find 4 even more disgusting horror films. Behold! Brian Yuzna's grotesque Society doesn't get its power from gore—there's barely a drop of blood spilled in it compared to some of the other flicks on this list. And yet, it's still incredibly grotesque, perverse and terrifying. The movie is about a group of rich, popular people in Beverly Hills who are actually disgusting amorphous creatures who feed on the bodily fluids of human beings. How they feed is where things get gross—in a process called "shunting," they lose all control of their bodies and melt into a sloppy, orgiastic mass of flesh. The movie's epic climax where this happens is hard to watch without flinching.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Fighting fire with fire #3

The most disgusting horror films #5

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence

The first Human Centipede movie was stomach-turning, no doubt. But director Tom Six ensured that it wouldn't get a spot on this list simply by making the sequel. When a schlubby British parking lot attendant becomes obsessed with the first film and decides to duplicate its experiment, he goes all the way—connecting twelve people together into one hideous beast. The first film at least had a doctor doing the dirty deed—the sequel's protagonist uses a staple gun to make his monster, and the whole movie is drowning in blood, feces, and other disgustingness. People have been passing out at screenings.

Monday, October 24, 2011

The most disgusting horror films #6


Olaf Ittenbach's Premutos: Lord Of The Living Dead isn't as famous as some of the other movies on this list, but it occupies a precious spot in the bloody hearts of gore fans. The German director positively revels in spilling blood left and right, and this thriller takes things to a point of absolute insanity. In the movie's blood-soaked climax, zombies are being dispatched left and right, with gallons of red flying and body parts getting chopped off like crazy. Head explosions come fast and furious, and the scenes of the undead eating the living are tough to watch. It's hard to say if the awful English dubbing ruins the experience or improves it.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Inappropriate pages from school books #11

The most disgusting horror movies #7

Cannibal Holocaust

One of the sickest movies ever made, 1980's Cannibal Holocaust is completely without any redeeming value whatsoever. It's wall-to-wall gore and exploitation, and even the strongest stomachs have a hard time sitting through it. Filmed in the Amazon rain forest, the plot concerns a search party sent to retrieve missing documentary filmmakers. When their film is recovered, it paints a very ugly picture of not only the locals, but the serious sickness of Western civilization as well. Beheadings, dismemeberings, and human Lunchables abound in this grim and gritty sickie.

The Walken Dead

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Useful, or useless links

How to make a survival shotgun.

Alien rap.

Editing the dead.

The most disgusting horror films #8

Dead Alive

Before Peter Jackson rode Lord of the Rings to the big time, he was just a humble New Zealand director making some of the most disgusting horror movies ever made. Dead Alive (also known as Braindead) may be his masterpiece. The story is simple: when an elderly woman gets bitten by an infected monkey, she transforms into a flesh-eating zombie and spreads her plague all over the small Kiwi town she lives in. But the devil is in the details, and Dead Alive revels in the inside of the human body. People get strangled with intestines, chopped into bits, and at the gruesome climax we see the nastiest live birth ever put on film.

Honestly, it's sad that I have to put this film at #8. Believe my it we were going for disgusting and funny it would be #1.

Friday, October 21, 2011

The most disgusting horror films #9


Walking dead flicks are usually pretty dependable for gore effects, and Italian master Lucio Fulci's Zombie is no exception. When a boat full of rotting corpses floats into New York Harbor, it sets off a cavalcade of violence that features some incredibly gruesome effects. Some of the most famous bits include Fulci's maggot-riddled undead savagely biting and rending human flesh and one incredibly hard to watch scene where actress Olga Karlatos gets pulled through a door by a zombie and receives a splinter of wood right in her eye.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The most disgusting horror films #10

Guinea Pig

The there anything they don't do?

We're going to be stepping outside of the comfort zone of American movies a few times on this list, because the rest of the world has some pretty nasty ideas about what horror can be. Case in point: Japan's Guinea Pig movies. The general theme of the series is torture and its effects on the human body, and the visual effects on display are so grossly realistic that in 1991 Charlie Sheen saw the second installment and reported it to the FBI as a snuff film. As the series progresses, it devolves into gory slapstick comedy, but the first two films still have the ability to shock and disturb.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Saturday, October 08, 2011

The Halloween gimp mask

Really, who's going to know?

Or you could wear it for Thanksgiving. The choice is yours.

Thursday, October 06, 2011