Sunday, September 28, 2008

Amazing yardsale finds #6

It may be late in the season, but there are still some great deals out there for those of you willing to look.

See what I picked up yesterday.

The Rifleman

Cost: $0.25

I'm not an avid reader, GIGC is, and I got it for her. Although the dude I bought it from also tried to sell me a subscription to "Boys loving men, loving boys."

Crack Stuffer

Cost: $0.75

Just in time. With winter coming, who dosen't have a crack they want stuffed?

Reindeer's Big Night Toy

Cost: $0.25

Christmas will be here soon enough and I can always regift this baby. After all I have plenty of nieces and nephews that I can't stand.

Is it just me, or do my purchases all seem overtly sexual?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Mid-blog crisis

There was a time when I got up everyday and the first thing I did was post to this Blog. For some reason I have lost my passion to do this and have experienced a dwindling desire to post even the most inane material.

All I can think is I'm going through a mid-blog crisis, where other elements have taken on a more pressing urgency than "dick and fart" jokes.

Who knows, perhaps I'll be purchasing a new car soon, to impress the younger female demographic.

Until then I'll just have to ride it out until the hard-on for blogging returns.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Dad's desert island collection #37

I didn't know Dustin Hoffman put out an album.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Direct, not to the point after all

Usually I try to post something of a light nature when I decide to punch out my thoughts on these pages, but something happened that I feel everyone should know. In fact given the nature of what has happened I’m sure you can relate.

My mother is 75 and getting up in years. We’ve had her come stay with us. When she did, she sold her house, notified all her utilities, settled up and cancelled all her accounts, left her forwarding information with the post office. Why? Because my mother likes to tie up loose ends and believes in being above board with everyone.

However, despite her attempts to move on and enjoy her retirement in a new locale, a letter came for her from CGC (Collection Group of Canada Inc.) stating the following:

Herewith, you are being served notice that we have been retained by DIRECT ENERGY GAS, to take immediate action on your delinquent account for $366.99. We have full authority and instructions to bring this matter to a prompt conclusion.

It is imperative that we receive your cheque immediately, or we shall have no alternative but to take appropriate action to enforce payment without further delay.

Govern yourself accordingly.

Really? This? After almost a year of living in her new digs?

When contacted, Direct Energy, claims this is merely company policy.

What? To not inform a client when they call to cancel they’ll have to pay a penalty?

What? To not send notification to the client informing that money is still due? I mean all her other mail was forwarded here from the post office, why not Direct Energy’s?

What? To badger an elderly woman, a long time customer, who has an impeccable credit rating and who would have happily paid the amount owing, had she been instructed to do so last October.

No, Direct Energy has chosen to skulk behind the proud, tried, tested and true, Gestapo tactics of a second rate collection agency who haven’t the decency to try simple communication before sending off their written defecation.

So I write this. My right to free speech. My right to let everyone know what is going on here.

And I say to you my friends, watch those bills coming in. Check for any discrepancy. Question every hidden charge. Let the bastards of big business know you are being vigilant.

After all, they sure let you know.....but give them about a year first.

I’ll send this out to as many people who will listen and Blind-Close-Caption to Direct Energy, because I know that’s where they feel comfortable....hidden and out of sight.

Dad's desert island collection #36

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Vagina, vagina, vagina

That is all.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

You hate me, you really, really hate me

OK, I know I've been a little lack-a-daisical with my posting this month, but it always astounds me when I see the July/August drop off of visitors to Ol Strangedaze.

Call it Pottahawk hangover, call it end of summer malaise, call it boring posting on my part. The truth seems to be, that unless I'm displaying tits and ass, excessive drinking, or using the word "vagina" on a frequent basis, you have no interest in coming here.

So, I will try to increase my level of debauchery over the next few months to win you back, otherwise next month the numbers might be in negative territory.

Dad's desert island collection #35

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Is this you?

OK, forget yesterday's doomsday post. The important thing is, if this is you in the picture, you need to contact me right away. Time is running out before I publish your pictures from Pottahawk on this page and people are going to find out what has happened to so many missing children, not to mention the great bank heist of '07......oh yeah there's some great Pottahawk pictures as well.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Doomsday Wednesday?

Good morning. Seems like a nice day on the cusp of fall. A perfect day to go about your business and not worry about the outside world......but wait a minute......maybe you should check this out before you walk out the front door whistling. It's happening as we speak.

If you can't get it to load, go here.

Hey, if the doomsday guys are right, think of all that debt you won't have to pay back. Either way, I guess we'll know by October 21st.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Thar she blows

This fine Tuesday, how about a trip to the human fountain.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Start your week off with the happy penis fun slide

Personally, if they wanted to use this as a metaphor they're about several million kids short, and there's no real money shot.

Yes, I've already booked it for next year's Oscar Party.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Amazing yardsale finds #5

The summer may be almost over, but the yard sales are still out there with real bargoons for those willing to search. Take for instance, these babies that I found at a street sale in Bowmanville. It was a big weekend and I made some major scores.

Johnny Rebel Cannon with three( count 'em) three cannon balls and gun powder.

Cost: $2.00

I figured this would go good next to the front door. I could fire it at unwanted door knockers trying to sell me, energy saving packages, girl guide cookies, ask for charitable donations, or wondering if I've heard the word of God lately.

But most of all those dumb-ass Weedman pricks who despite seeing my lawncare truck in the driveway, want to know if I'd like a free estimate so they can upsell me a grub treatment. Big company assholes! Here's a cannon ball right up your ass.

The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen on Beta max.

Cost: Got it for free with the cannon.

What a great film. I love Terry Gilliam's work. Now, if I could only find a Beta machine to play it on?

Two Girls, One Cup temporary rub-on tattoo.

Cost: $0.10

Looks swell don't it?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

The internet: it's just not trying anymore

Last week I failed to post my regular news and reviews. I guess it was due to a weak, week I felt had nothing to offer.

Other than talk of Cher playing Cat Woman in the next Batman flick, tainted meat recalls and a ho-hum hurricane, there was really nothing to work with.

Perhaps it's just me, because this week I feel much the same way after a summer of posting- there's nothing left to say.

Sure I could comment on Tiger Woods announcing he and his wife are expecting their second child. How, if three kids is still the family unit norm, does that put him one under par?

Or how some dude paid half-a-mil for a guitar Hendrix burned in the sixties and if the house he stores it in burns down, how will he ever convince his insurance that the guitar was damaged?

Or how, apparently the place to shop for furniture....and well.....really anything isn't Ikea or Walmart, it's the Humber River in Toronto.

Or how in a deep-fried food competition in Texas, some dude won with his signature dish Deep-Fried bacon-flavored chicken which he should probably rename the Deep-Fried Heart-Attack.

The truth is I feel uninspired and should probably drop news and reviews until next year when the mood strikes me.

Until next time.

Strange Ocho Cinco

Friday, September 05, 2008

Is this you?

Hello Pottahawk picture taker.

This year I found a water-tight camera floating near our boat at Pottahawk. The pictures have been developed and if this is you, you should probably contact me before it gets any worse.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Dad's desert island collection #34

Tales from the road (part 39)

Private Sector ended what has been a sometimes tumultuous tour last night with a small, invitation only gathering back on home soil. The band agreed the past three months seemed longer than it actually was, but they still had fun, not ruling out the possibility of touring again at some point in the future.

Unlike past performances, the band closed the show with their signature "The Cure" instead of opening with it, leaving the impression they still have a few surprises left to dole out.

We'll have to wait and see.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Amazing yardsale finds #4

Sky Dancer

Cost: $0.75

Got it for my Niece. Now before you say "That's cute. What a swell guy you are Strange." Let it be noted this toy was pulled from the shelf because you could put your eye out with it when you pulled the cord and this frickin' fairy-helicopter thingy flew up into your face.

And believe me, no one deserves to put out her eye more than my Niece. the kid's a real brat.

Miami Sound Machine

Cost: $0.25

This brought back memories of a simpler time when I thought I was so cool, but looking back at it now and comparing myself to these dudes, my hairstyle sucked too.

Actually I got it for my Niece. Now before you say "That's cute. What a swell guy you are Strange." Let it be noted that outside of getting her on a milk carton which would take a great deal of effort on my part, this album should at least punish her parents for having such a naughty child, when she plays it with monotonous regularity on their old record player.

Derringer Gun Belt Buckle.

Cost: $0.50

The only problem? You have to turn sideways to shoot darts at anyone. However I could always pose for a picture with my know....if the Sky Dancer doesn't work.