Saturday, July 12, 2008

Blessed are the Cheeeee makers.

Since I will be away this weekend trying to destroy my liver at Pottahawk, I've asked a special guest to fill in for me while I'm gone. None other than Jose Marrone and his faithful interpreter Manuel will do News and Reviews in my absence.

Cougars maul Stanley Cup

U.S. musician Kid Rock had a wild July 4 bash with many a scantily clad cougar and in which invited members of the NHL champion Detroit Red Wings left the Cup out on the beach, where “people mistook the trophy for an ashtray,”

Manuel: La Piedra del niño y algunas mujeres desnudas del puma utilizaron la Taza de Stanley como un cenicero y lo dejaron en la playa.

Jose Marrone: ¿Qué es esta Taza de Stanley?

Manuel: Está como el trofeo dado a mejor una espalda de prostituta de legged en nuestra aldea de Plaza de la de Puerto de recreo de Santa.

Manuel: Jose ask "What is this Stanley Cup?" I tell him is like the trophy given to best one legged hooker back in our village of Santa Marina la Plaza.

Jose Marrone: CHEEEE!

Manuel: Jose very upset.

iphone = ipain in the ass

Registration problems and stock shortages have marred the launch of Apple’s new 3G iPhone in Canada.

Purchasers were disappointed that they could not activate their phones at the point of purchase. Some telcos are blaming Apple for the flaw, saying the fault was with the company’s iTunes server.

Manuel: ¿Qué piensa usted del nuevo iphone Jose?

Jose Marrone: ¿Qué es iphone?

Manuel:Es un teléfono con el internet, música, el video y otro material.

Jose Marrone:

You know what....we're just going to go on to the next subject.

A watermelon upper

A cold slice of watermelon has long been a summer staple. But according to recent studies, the juicy fruit may be better suited for Valentine's Day as it is now reported watermelon contains many of the same properties found in Viagra.

Manuel: Ellos dicen que la sandía está como viagra.

Jose Marrone: Cheeee, Cheeeeeeee, Cheeeeee!!!!!!!?

Manuel: Jose say, "where is his watermelon"?

Sexty into their seventies

More couples over 70 are having sex - and finding it satisfying - than in previous generations, a British Medical Journal survey suggests.

Swedish researchers asked 1,500 older people across a 30-year period about their sex lives.

The number of people saying they had sex increased - as did the number of women reporting having orgasms.

Manuel: Ellos dicen personas más de setenta tiene mucho sexo.

Jose Marrone: Cheee, Cheee, Cheeee!

Manuel: Jose say,"this is disgusting. He don't want to think about this. Is like wrinkly puppies having intimate cha-cha."

Air supply

Air Guitar Canada had a jam packed evening of exciting rock'n'roll madness on Friday, July 11, 2008 as the 2nd annual Canadian Air Guitar Championship got underway at Toronto's famed Lee's Palace. Hosted by intergalactic rock star Robin Black, this one-night only special event featured some of the country's best Air Guitar talent, celebrity judges and special surprises starting at 9pm.

Manuel: Hay un campeonato donde personas juegan guitarra con fuera guitarras.

Jose Marrone: Cheeeeeeee!

Manuel: Jose say, "This is stupid. He will not comment." He say, "He should be eating watermelon and having intimate cha-cha with cougars at Pottahawk."

Cross posted on Mitchieville

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