Another week

It was a big week for lung cancer, just ask Peter Jennings, Barbara Belle Geddes and Dana Reeves. Ok you can’t ask Barbara or Peter, they’re dead, but Superman’s widow still has time.
The only good to come out of it so far is, there has been a record number of people calling to find out how they can quit smoking. But whatever you do don’t call the Mayor for advice on this one.

"Name things that can withstand above average amounts of pain."
"Uh Redheads."
"Show us Redheads!....ding...Number #1 answer."

Right you are, a new survey said that these inhuman, firey-haired, females have a gene that helps them tolerate pain better than their blonde or brunette cousins. I don’t know about withstanding pain but they certainly know how to dish it out pretty good.

The Rolling Stones played a small club in Toronto called the Phoenix, this week. It is an intimate venue that has a capacity of about 800 patrons. People stood in line for over 24 hours for a chance to pick up a $10.00 ticket to see these elderly rockers and many were disappointed when turned away as the turnstiles closed.

Hey my Grandfather is in town. He’s 92, he still dances remarkably well, and knows every Boxcar Willie song ever recorded. I’m sure for a buck a piece, he’d sing them for you and you wouldn’t have to stand in line either.

Helpful factoid #5: A wink’s as good as a nod to a blind bat.

They are already starting to crank up the media machine for the Toronto Film Festival next month. I wonder if that Homolka movie will find a home here after being tossed out of Montreal?

The film originally titled "Deadly," was renamed "Karla," then changed to "Sexual Teenage School Girl Killers." Now in an effort to slide one past the goalie, they are changing the title yet again. Get ready for "Nice Tits, You’re Dead....Arrrgh."

A pastor at a local church on the outskirts of Mitchieville, was lured to a meeting by Police posing as a twelve year old girl in the hope that a sexual encounter would happen. What is this world coming to when those of the religious community are made to suffer with this blatant form of entrapment by law enforcement?....oh wait a minute.....I think I got the story backwards...never mind.

With all the terrorism lurking around corners, the good people here in T.O. have decided we need cameras everywhere to protect the public from these would-be assassins. I’m confused. I thought we already had cameras everywhere? At least that’s the impression I get from the internet. Just type in, "chicks in toilets and change room," or "up-skirts," into your search engine.

Finally, it’s been happening for years, Jesus in a tortilla in Dallas, The Virgin Mary in an oil stain in Albuquerque, deities in dirt streaked windows, pretzels, vomit, you name it. Hell, even the grilled cheese sandwich with God’s #1 son, sold for over $5,000 on E-Bay.

Now, look out! Here comes the Jesus perogie with a bidding price starting at $500 U.S. What’s next, John the Baptist in an underwear skidmark?