The week that was

I'd like to happily announce that I am pregnant with Kevin Federline's baby.

God damn it! It’s been a week and a half and all the workmen have done is change the nav bar. It's not that I don't like the new tan look, it's very summery, but it's taking too long to get the work done. Oh, they said something about hitting the wrong wire and a memory dump and that’s why they're still working away. I’m not sure I believe them. Just between you and I, I'm frustrated, I mean I've seen enough butt cracks this week, I could put Polyfiller out of business. And I'm missing all the juicy news, since I’ve gone a blogging on the weekends.

So much seems to happen through the week. For instance, I went to sleep last Sunday in Toronto and woke up in Detroit, or at least that’s how it seems with all the shootings we’ve had. The most notable was hate monger Wolfgang Droege the notorious one-time leader of the racist Heritage Front who was gunned down in a fit of well– hatred. A can’t help thinking of this as an oxymoron of some sort, like military intelligence, or jumbo shrimp.

I heard that there’s an outside chance that the next Pope might be Canadian. Yeah right, and Colorado might have a ton of snow. Wait a moment...let’s all go to Sexscenes and taunt her. Everybody together now. Let's hear your best Nelson, "Ha, ha." (She can thank me later. I'm always looking to give a shout out to a fellow author, especially one as gifted as her.) But I digress, a Canadian Pope? Who woulda thought? With further anaysis it makes sense. We are used to following hugely successful individuals and not living up to expectations. Our whole society is built on mediocrity. However, I doubt that he will be picked, after all, at age 60 he’s considered as too young and he also tested positive for steroids.

Toronto welcomed back Carter. Vince Carter, that is, former Raptor now a New Jersey Net. He was smoothered in a chorus of boos but managed to trounce our ass any way, (See! Mediocrity). I say who the fuck cares? It's basketball. I stopped caring when the game was invented.

Finally, A 33 year old man was arrested for trying to solicit sex from a twelve year old he met in a chat room. He actually rented a car and drove from T.O. to Virginia where he was spotted by the girl's mother lurking in the bushes.

Can you believe it? What a knob. Everyone knows if you want to have sex with a twelve year old, you have to go further south. Kentucky or Alabama I’m thinkin’. (Oh I'm going to hear about this.)