Employment insurance, I pay it like so many others, so that if a time comes where I actually need it, the money’s there. But let me tell you boys and girls, while you’re on it, don’t try to do anything to better yourself like take a course, or get some schooling. They will cut you off without blinking an eye and toss your penis right out the window.
Now ultimately it’s my own fault. I fill out my forms on line where I have to answer a bunch of asinine questions every two weeks. Questions like, "Have you moved or changed banking information?" (Like I have the money to fuckin move.) When the usual question about school and courses came up, I replied yes. I should have just lied and said, "No I didn’t go to school." but I’m a law abiding citizen and want to be on the up and up. In response to my honesty, they suspended my benefits pending review.
I’m a family man with bills to pay and geewiz, I kind-of need that money, which is essentially my money to begin with since I’ve been paying into UI for a bazillion years.
Lesson learned? The government wants you to lie to them. They crave it like a junkie looking for their next fix. After all, isn’t this the same government that is allowed to put their greedy little hands in our pockets time after time? Who pick their own salary and periodically give themselves raises? Who get exemptions and right-offs up the wahzoo? Who spy on my girl when she’s in the shower? (Ok I admit that was me.) And then there’s the big fat pension at the end of it all. Yet, here I am going back to school for a week, that will not only allow me to return to work sooner, but make a few extra bucks in the process. I might even better myself and they run around like a bunch of wailing mourners screaming foul.
You know what? Next time I’m just going to sit on my ass and do nothing and collect my little cheques. Evidently that’s the way they want it.
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