Saturday, April 16, 2005

Hell hath no fury like a Mayor scorned

I just got back from Mitchieville. I needed to pick up some milk, some bread, some porn, you know, that sort of thing. While I was there I decided to stop by the Mayor’s office and read the daily Blog. After all, I am the campaign manager. I was shocked. My anticipated daily laugh was gunned down like a drive-by shooting, and I left upset in a pool of my own tears.

Ok, that’s a little extreme, but I was disturbed. I haven’t even watched my porn yet and it’s approaching noon. I think someone pissed in the Mayor's Lucky Charms, because he seemed rather fraught over a few issues Friday, that have left him anything but magically delicious.

Some would say, it has been a long, tough campaign and it's taking its toll. Personally, I think the computer problems that he has been having of late, set him off. So I thought I would dedicate this post to trying to cheer him up. Turn that frown, upside down.

I know he’s looking into getting a new computer and when he does he will need cool desktop. This next site, should give him some funky ideas. It’s not actually a site about computers and truly I’m just using the Mayor as a segue to post it, but take a look, it’s pretty cool. It’s all screens that people have put together to fuck you up. So get fucked up.

Secondly I know how the Mayor loves a good chick fight. To that end, he would be happy to know, they are Mitchivillians fighting over the point system, on his woman to woman challenge, for his one word title contest. It has been running all week and the competition is fierce.

Last but not least, we need to start a pledge drive to get the Mayor the hits he needs. Because as much as I love that desirable shinny head of his, I still want to see him kicked in the nutz. Confess! Deep down inside you do too.

Here’s what I propose. We all make a concerted effort to visit his blog, four or five times a day. It doesn’t matter if you’ve already read his wonderfully twisted views, (Fridays comments excluded). Think of it as a station in between where you are and where you want to go on the net. In fact, why don't you put a link on all your out going emails. Let’s pull together and make this happen. Really it’s funny to watch someone piss blood. His honorable Mayor would be the first person to agree. See. If you click on every link in this post you will have givin the Mayor four hits each, bringing a little sunshine to his otherwise dour puss.

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