The Mayor's disappearing act

As some of you may know, I have been concerned about my friend the Mayor over the past few days, and his persistent declarations that he has decided to quit Blogging.

Yesterday I dropped by the office to wish him a great St. Patty’s Day and perhaps coax him out for a green pint or two.

The office was empty. I was about to leave when I heard a grunt emerge from beneath his desk. There I found the Mayor on a small mattress of urine stained yellow, where he’d apparently spent the night in solitude. His hair was a dishevelled mess, which I found very odd since the Mayor doesn’t have any hair. He refused to come out, but waved two pair of tickets at me from his humble domicile.

"Which would you rather see, David Copperfield or the theatre production of Lord of the Rings?" He said.

"Can’t I go to both?"

"They’re both for tonight."

"Why don’t you just start blogging again and go yourself."

"No!"

I said. "Dude you have to get off this crazy twelve-step program you’re on."

"Do you want them or not? Choose!"

"Ok David Copperfield....no...Lord of the Rings....no Copperfield."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, cause maybe Copperfield will pick me from the audience when he does one of those 'teleporting an audience member to where they want to go,' tricks and I can have him send me to Lord of the Rings....huh?"

The Mayor popped his head up so just his eyes appeared above the horizon of the mahogany. "You’re crazy, you know that?"

"This from a man living under his desk," I responded.

"Ok...here." He handed me both pairs. "Copperfield is out of town. Go see my midget man servant Pano, and he will take you to the show in the chopper."

"What’s wrong with the Jet? Why can’t I take the jet?"

"The jet’s being used as a temporary methadone clinic for homeless addicts."

"Jesus! Things are really falling apart around here fast."

Once again the seats were beyond reproach. Both shows were entertaining, yet lacking the fullness of entertainment satisfaction. I guess I should have selected just one show. And I don't think Copperfield was too pleased when I punched an elderly man and caught the frisbee. I told him I didn't want to be teleported to Austrailia. I wanted to be sent to the Lord of the Rings.

He whispered out the side of his mouth. "Tell the audience you want to go to Austrailia."

"No!" I said. "I already have the tickets. I want to go The Lord of the Rings."

Copperfield sighed. " Ladies and gentlemen, I will now send this man to Austrailia. He may age a bit in the process."

"What the..."

He threw a tarp over me. Made me disappear. I was whiskied off the stage in secret. Thrown into the back of a limo and told never to come back to any of his shows. Apparently, someone who looked more like the elderly chap I stole the frisbee from, appeared on a beach in Brisbane to the cummunal awe of those in attendance.

As for the Mayor he is now past the 72nd hour of his non-blogging March madness. I urge you. Go to him now! Request that he ends his literary famine and open up the gates of his unusual and dark comedic brain once more. Plus I hear he’s looking to dump some Platinum seats, court side, for the Raptor’s game .