So a rodent says short winter....big deal....I can stick a finger up my own ass and tell you my body temperature, and who will win the Super Bowl. Do you hear me getting any accolades?......Oh yeah...Steelers by 3.
The pudgy white woodchuck failed to see his shadow on Groundhog Day in the central Ontario town. Shubenacadie Sam, Nova Scotia's most famous weather-forecasting rodent, also predicted an early spring.
Wait a fuckin' minute there Cochise....Shubenacadie Sam? Who the fuck is that? It used to be just Phil and Willie now they’re adding another groundhog to the mix. What’s next? Pawdash Pete, Aberfoyle Andy, Mitchieville Mel, Baghdad Billy? And where are all the chick groundhogs anyway? Fuck, no wonder they sleep all God damn winter.
But a unanimous groundhog verdict was prevented when Punxsutawney Phil in Pennsylvania saw his shadow.
That wasn't Phil's shadow, it was the gloom cast by George Bush. No wonder the poor groundhog scurried back into his hole. I'll bet they probably tried to dress him in one of those tiny, little, "Support our troops," T-shirts.
Folklore has it that if a groundhog sees his shadow on Groundhog Day, he'll flee to his burrow, heralding six more weeks of winter. If he doesn't, it means an early spring.
I’m surprised Ol Wiarton Willie didn’t stick his head out into this unusually mild winter weather we've been having, and predict we’re all going to die soon from global warming.
The origins of the tradition aren't clear, but it's likely related to the fact that Groundhog Day falls midway between the start of winter and the beginning of spring.
Some say it started with Candlemas, a Christian custom named for the lighting candles during the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin Mary. According to an old Scottish couplet: "If Candlemas Day is bright and clear, there'll be two winters in the year."
Ok, there's your first mistake...listening to a Scottish couplet. Did you not see the link on the Mayor's Blog? Who the hell understands Scottish anything? I don't and I was raised by Scotts. I never knew if I was being praised or scolded, it all ended with the same punch in the nose.
Anyway the whole sordid tale of groundhogs in captivity can be read here.
5 comments:
I hear that not only can Mitchieville Mel predict and early end to winter, but he can lick his own ass.
Now THAT'S impressive.
Je-sus! Is it any wonder Jerry Casby left?
Why stop at the ass? As long as you're there Mel could apply some red lipstick too.
You are all as crude as ever.
Mitzie, what can I say...to get you to stop coming here? Isn't there a ministry you have to save somewhere?
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