Downside up

I know, I know! I’m posting late. Well....it was such a nice day, who can blame me? I’m here now and that’s all that matters.

The world is upside down and gone crazy I tells ya. CRAZY! Teachers are marrying students, Tiger missed the PGA cut for the first time in 7 years, birds are attacking helpless civilians in Texas, and Conservatives are suddenly Liberals. What the fuck is happening? Is the apocalypse at hand? Should we all head for the hills? Even George Lucas’ scripts have become lifeless and wooden.....Whew! Shit!.... I was worried for a minute there.... I guess everything is normal after all.

In fact, I thought I’d start with my review of "Revenge of the Sith," which I happened to see at 12:01 AM Thursday. Really I’m not a geek, but I do take away something from the experience.

Now, I could wallow in the depths of catch phrases like "Visually stunning and stunningly visual," but I won’t. I could simply say, "I liked it," but I didn’t. I could sit here and point out continuity flaws and say that the story had more holes than my lucky Fruit of the Looms, but I’m a bigger man than that.

My review, revolves around the audience behavior that some misguided souls believe is devotion. I would not be among those counted. I think it is important that you prepare yourself if you are contemplating taking in this newest addition to the Star Wars franchise, for they are an unruly bunch. Here is just a sample of what I witnessed.

Jedi’s in attendance...14
Wookies at the confection counter....3
Cell ring tones heard...7, Answered...5
Eyes lost due to audience light sabres.....6
Number of times Storm Troopers kicked the back of my seat.....27
Laughs during intimate dialogue....too many to count.
Full body "William Shatner"-type screams of "NO!!!!!".....only 1 (Thank God)
In conclusion: View this movie at your own risk.

OK...all I’ve heard this week is analysis and folderol concerning this Belinda Stronach defection to the Liberals. How she betrayed not only the Conservatives but her boy friend Peter MaKay in the process. The whys, and the hows, and the wherefores. Well.....I’m going to set the record straight, once and for all as to why, I know, she did it. It all comes down to size, and Paul Martin has a bigger caucus.

A great Canadian died today. He touched millions of lives on all continents and he will be missed. His name was Henry Corden. "SHIT!" you say. You thought it was someone of more notoriety. Of more importance. Someone you've actually heard of, like Wayne Gretzky or Jim Carey or Steve Nash or....Hey Henry Corden, born in Montreal, was a great man and although you may not know him by name, you certainly knew him by voice. He was the voice of Fred Flinstone.