Friday, December 02, 2005

It's not like I'm asking you to swallow

Today I was thinking about oral sex. So I guess you could say it was just like any other day for me. Perhaps I was just getting into the Christmas spirit when I started to think about all the giving and receiving. And like Christmas I’ve had some Blow-jobs that I wish I could send back or at least re-gift. Yet I smiled through the teeth, the humming and the general malaise of the act by saying how much I enjoyed it anyway.

As men we don’t like to tell women when they give shitty oral because we’re scared to death we’ll never get it again. And bad oral is still better than no oral.

Then I stumbled across this site and thought I’d share it with those of you of the female persuasion. If you are one of those dreaded few who think sucking a penis is like making the driest martini in the world and our dicks are the vermouth, you can maybe find out what you’ve been doing wrong all these years.

I’m sorry I haven’t located one for the guys yet. I know men are not much better when it comes to knowing what to do with the other team's sexy bits. Most of us just treat a woman’s Venus mound like it’s an all you can eat buffet and when we run out of ideas we just ram a thumb up her arse and hope for the best.

So I will endeavor to keep searching for the men while the ladies brush up on their technique. And girls, you will be tested.

4 comments:

Cindy said...

For sure, men aren't better than women. Looks like you guys are licking an ice cream...

Strange said...

I agree Cindy. Although the last time I did the thumb up the ass thing, I did get better TV reception.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Strange! I can't BELIEVE after all this time you are still displaying filth like this. Have you learned nothing? GROW UP!

Strange said...

Hey Mitzie...long time no hear...how you been? Still as prudish as ever I see.

Concerning the post in question...you're married right?

Then I don't understand why you're so upset. You don't have to give head anymore, anyway.