Deliberation is complete. The foreman is ready to read the verdict and you my friends will be the fist to see what outcome was rendered on all ten counts. Look elsewhere on the net if you wish. You will not find a peep of this information anywhere.
You are the very first to witness the conclusion of this long drawn out process, a trial of conscience that has given birth to turmoil and debate from water-coolers to bedrooms. It’s here on my Blog, not on CNN, not on NBC or any other major news source. It's only here on frickin’ Strangedaze mother-scratchers.
You’re welcome.
Verdict reached on count #1 Molestation and abuse.
Guilty! Although my penis continues to work fine, I have been masturbating beyond that of the normal male.
Count #2 Conspiracy issue
Conspiracy to take out garbage. Verdict reached: No conspiracy.
Count #3 Guilty. Hairball found by the computer was indeed that of the cat’s.
Count #4 We have decided to B.B.Q. chicken instead of pork for dinner.
Count #5 We will bypass water for beer as a beverage.
Count #6 Utensils will be used instead of fingers.
Count #7 We will dine outside tonight on the back deck because it’s nice out.
Count #8 Accusations that we still owe money to the cable company. Not guilty.
Count #9 Spits or swallows? Swallows of course! As she says "Why waste it."
Count #10 I will let the grass grow for another day. It’s too hot to mow it anyway.
Thank you people of the jury.
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