Movie revenues are down. Worst since they started keeping track of such things 20 years ago. Well no shit Watson! Wouldn’t you rather stay at home and watch a pirated copy of Batman Begins, instead of having some juvenile 30 year old kick the back of chair constantly? Maybe you prefer to feel your feat stick to a floor tarred with a syrupy beverage, or hear the punch lines wrecked before they’re delivered, or fight the fuck in the SUV who not only stole the parking space you had your eye on, but the one next to it as well. (Park inside the lines you neanderthal gas guzzler!)
Let's see, screaming babies who shouldn’t be in the theater in the first place. They’re just there because their parents are too cheap to spring for a baby sitter. Oh yeah but they can afford the frickin’ SUV. By the way, it was I, who keyed you vehicular beast .
Then there’s the watered down movie ideas. Rehashed, unoriginal, bullshit where you’ve already seen the best parts in the trailer. Here’s an idea, instead of giving me something that’s like a surfing E.T. meets an eco conscious shark with a heart of gold, how about something original. Something that I’ve never seen before that will challenge my intellect. Something where the Earth is not in danger of some catastrophe and our only hope is a bunch of B-list actors and TV cast-offs.
The movie industry have only themselves to blame, (WARNING: I'll be saying that alot today), and until they have separate viewing booths with my popcorn delivered to my seat by some semi-clad, moisten bint, (who can't get a job at Tim Hortons), an industrial sized drink, and a seat that I can flush without having to get up, my couch looks pretty good to me.
4 comments:
If movie theatres would simply adopt my idea of giving everyone a free hand-job when they enter, I guarantee that box office receipts would quintuple.
I forgot to mention something else, they could have the slogan for all theatres be "free hand-jobs, its time has come"....they could even spell the word *come* differently.
Such cynicism saddens me
Movie revenues are indeed down, and the industry is pursuing that melting segment that still continues to attend movies. Obviously, a jaded misanthrope such as yourself is not in the target market.
Perhaps it is time you accepted reality ... movies are not made for such as you. Get a grip.
But then what would I have left to bitch about FB? Free hand jobs for everyone? I don't think those with vaginal equipment are going to be receptive to the idea unless you add "one way of another we'll lick this problem."
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