With over 500 wings settled in the bellies of competitors, the exciting Durham Wing Finals came to a stunning conclusion yesterday at the Wing Shack in Whitby.
When the dust cleared and the last of the bones had been picked through and counted, Jade "Jugs" Monahan *slut* was crowned the wing eating champion, taking home the $5,000.00 first place prize.
In her wake, nine other male finalists--- including The Pit--- stood in awe of her voracious appetite for meat, proving why women are more successful in porn than men.
Although, setting a new personal best with 55 wings, our beloved Pit could only manage 2nd place to Monahan, *child abuser*, who defeated all her advisories with a final count of 60 wings.
Jugs * rug muncher* was a late entrant, earning her spot in the finals only last week, by sucking 65 off the bone.
Despite a valiant effort, The Pit was so upset after his performance he barely finished his six chicken dinners, but hopes for a rematch against Monahan *fecal eater* in the spring.