Retard Policy

I don’t usually post on weekends, but I am making an exception to pass along important information that might be useful to others. What can I say? I’m just that kind of guy.

I was out last night with the Mayor and a few buddies in one of the fine dining establishments in the boroughs of Mitchieville. We were celebrating the record breaking achievement of our friend Rob. He was turning 40 and still, except for the hair and the foreskin, had most of what he came into this world with. Spirits were high and the festivities were in full swing when all of a sudden, one of our friends who has graced the pages of the Mitchieville Blogger, accidently spilled a full pint of beer on the table. We watched it with stunned awe as the river of suds worked its way through peeks of condiments and valleys of napkins. We called the waiter over and with tongue placed firmly in cheek asked it the restaurant had a retard policy for such a blunder. You could almost hear the audible "Ha ha" in our request.

However, as the Birthday Gods would have it- Voila! They brought him another full beer to replace the fallen comrade. Now, this got me and the others at the table thinking, if most businesses have such a plan in place why not take advantage of it? Drink your beer, but leave a little in the bottom. Knock it over with an errant elbow, or ass cheek. Then amidst you apologies and declarations of stupidity, ask for another one.

In these days of outrages prices where the government gouges and reaches into your pocket like a pimp from a prostitute still on her knees, something has to be done. Enjoy and revel in this small victory, this silent revolution. Take back your balls, (not gender specific), and savor the simple pleasures once again. Drink your free beer.