Sunday, March 09, 2008

What else blows besides Winter?

Well I'll tell you. GIGC and I recently moved into a palatial estate east of the city. It is a wondrous isolated domicile with expansive pines reaching skyward along the backyard and the sprawling landscape of a park with gentle winding trails across the street.

In the winter when you look out from the sliding doors over the deck, by the kitchen, it is quite stunning and gives one the feeling of privacy and seclusion.

However, because it offers such hermetic aesthetics, from time to time a vehicle will park across the road and sit, sometimes, for hours.

Recently, on one such occasion, I noticed only a single occupant on the passenger side of the recent model Kia Portage, yet an ominous bobbing shadow moved from the lap area of the lone figure. Quickly I called GIGC to my side and commented that perhaps we were, "in the presence of the pleasures of sweet fellatio."

No sooner had my lips returned from their previous O shape, did the driver side door open and a young female- ponytail still being clutched firmly by her willing participant- leaned out and spat half the population of North Korea all over the road before returning to an upright position and closing the door.

My first thought was to race across the yard, hop the fence armed with swab and plastic container to collect samples, alla CSI, to scare the little bastards off, but GIGC and I had more pressing concerns to address.....

Such as:

Why take a shot in the mouth if you were just going to waste it?

Was she told the heinous lie of all lies, "I promise not to cum in your mouth"?

Even so, like a soldier dispatched to Afghanistan she must have been aware of the dangers lurking near by- a roadside bomb waiting to go off. Yet bravely she threw her head on the weapon anyway.

Let me say, as I guy, I love my John Thomas. You might say we're pretty good buddies and hang together when ever we can. GIGC is also a friend and spends a great deal of time with him as well, but......the women who will engage the enemy orally even when they consider it a homeless busker dude begging for spare change.....they, are a rare breed indeed.

That is why I'm devoting this week to the magnetic wonders of the penis. I'll try to understand why even the most timid of the female species and certain factions of the male gender are drawn to its facination, its self centredness, its malevolence, like moths to the flame.

The one true God.

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