V-Day

Victory Day?
Vasectomy Day?
Vaginal warts awareness Day?

Today is Valentine’s Day yet, if you’ve been coming here on a daily basis you wouldn’t know it. I have not posted a single Blog on this evil, evil, evil day.

This year there have been no ideas for surprising that special someone, be they female, male, transgendered, or beast. No chocolate covered strawberries, lace panty doo-dads or cheesy goo-dripping poetry.

Not even in jest have I posted. No penis wax candles, no heart shaped handcuffs, no urine flavoured sodas, made from the pee of your significant other in four delicious flavours- Orange, Grape, Peach and Lemon.

No, Ol’ Strange has been devoid of any love for this day. In fact, you might say, I have become anti-Valentine’s Day. The Antichrist of all that is red, kissy, love-love and surrounded by half-naked cherubs armed with pointed missiles.

If you find yourself saying, “What a bitter, loveless man you must be Strange,” stop.

GIGC and I have a wonderful relationship that is bordered on the south by spiritual, north by sublime and just east of Ajax. We don’t need a day where everyone from Greeting Card companies to Jewellery specialists are telling us to, “Spend, Spend, SPEND!” to prove/ test our love.

Nor am I saying, by following the devious, cash-tainted designs of this day, you are mindless cattle caught in a pen on your way to the slaughter house.

It’s simple: I don’t need today to tell GIGC how special she is when there are 364 (other) days to convey that message. If you’re a hopeless romantic, neither should you.

But, you do what floats your boat, just don’t expect GIGC and myself to be playing, “King of the world” while we search for life vests on your vessel.