Monday, February 18, 2008

No Atonement for Oscar

Next Sundaty is the 80th annual Oscar presentations. In the week leading up to them, I usually review the nominated films.

Today: Atonement-

I can’t understand why this film is even in the top five for the naked golden boy.
Paul Haggis’s, In the Valley of Elah and Sean Penn’s, Into the Wild are far more deserving to be considered. Hell I’d even put Affleck's, Gone Baby Gone ahead of this yawner. But somehow, the Academy feels obligated to nominate artsy, “English Patient”-type films every five years or so.

And with Haggis already winning for Crash, the Academy’s disdain for Penn and Affleck.....well.....let me just say one word.....Gigli, maybe they felt compelled to slip this one past the goalie.

Atonement is a film involving the love of.....Christ, I can’t even write about it, without getting sleepy.

A more fitting title for this movie would be “The Last Five Minutes” because that’s where the payoff is. Now it is a good payoff I'll give it that, but not worth the two hour investment to get there.

If the film makers truly wanted atonement then they should have offered everyone their money back. I mean if I wanted to waste my cashola on something disappointing, I'd get a lap-dance from the ugly, fat stripper with the cigarette burns on her ankles.

But if you really feel the need to watch Atonement and get that lap-dance, make sure you’re not operating heavy machinery this film works better than lorazepam.

If ever there was a poster child for the illegal download of movies this is it.

And BTW, the toaster is next to the bathtub in case this wins on Sunday.

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