Monday, February 04, 2008

The Pit and the pendulum

It’s all over except for the puking, as the 2008 Whitby Wing Eating Finals came to an exciting conclusion last night during the Super Bowl Half-Time Show.

For the second year in a row, The Pit, found himself the bridesmaid as he fell a few wings short to a last minute addition from Cincinnati, (mugshot currently unavailable).

With the disqualification of Wolfman Eddie late last week opening up a slot in the finals, the Cincinnati Ringer slipped in quietly and surprised bookies and bettors alike by taking the wing crown.

Still standing in the carnage of a battlefield of bones and chicken carcass, The Pit, with a tear glistening from the corner of his left eye and the sweat of ingesting an entire tray of poultry’s finest still damp on his brow, sadly contemplated retirement.

Perhaps it was just the sudden sting of defeat snatched from the certain jaws of victory, or just an unusual rumbling in his colon located in an awkward spot between the cecum and the rectum, but like everyone else including The New England Patriots, he was just stunned by an outcome no one saw coming.

So here's to the true champion The Pit. Let's hope he will return like Brett Favre, for one more year.


Babosa said...

It seems that the "Cincinnati Ringer" snuck in his girlfriend, Sally "the fish" Legarra into the festivities that night and she offered the judges carnal pleasures (if you want to call it that) in return for another loss for the Pit. Video evidence in our possession proves the numbers were rigged, so there was no fair play during this competition. A confidential source confirms that lawyers for the Pit are convening to discuss possible legal actions. Perhaps there will be an inquiry into last years loss as well. Something is definitely "fowl" in Durham!!

Strange said...

I hear ya. As someone who witnessed the debacle first hand, I counted 55 wings ingested by the Pit and that was in the first four minutes alone.

Shame on you Wing Shack. Shaaaaaame!!!!