Wednesday, January 18, 2006

More than three feet in my yard


People often ask me. They say, " Hey Strange, you know feet right? What’s the big deal?"

First of all I’m not a professional, but yes, I know some reflex ology and I know what I like in feet. There are 28 erogenous zones on the foot alone. Note the sexy bits are on the heel and ankle. In fact you can stimulate all other organs by massaging the sexy foot.

Now, let me be clear: I like female feet. So guys just turn around right now. I'm not touching a man's foot unless it's my own or it involves embedded glass, massive blood loss, a tourniquet and a rusty hack-saw.

Ok, female feet. Wait! Let me be clear: I’m not interested in girls feet. That is, anyone with a catchers-mitt one day away from legality. I guess what I’m trying to say is women’s feet. Are we on the same page now?

Oh, and you can knock off anyone in the senior category. After all I’m not an Orthopedist.

Alright, let's get started. Women’s feet. Wait a minute! Let me be clear: I have to exclude anything that looks like a sausage, elongated boney digits, uneven tappers and someone who needs side cars for her shoes because she’s been shoving them into pumps for twenty years.

Also, rough heels that look like they could sand down hardwood and long toe nails that would have field mice running in a blind panic. In fact I’m not into the whole splayed toe, banana tree climbing, gecko foot. Ok.

So except for all these omissions...Let’s begin...Women’s feet.

Wait! I’m not sure there’s that many feet left out there to talk about?

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