I'd like to say this about that

So the biggest winner last week wasn’t "The Wedding crashers" or "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," it was a freekin’ book for gawdsake. That’s right, J K Rowling's, "Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince," made over a 100 million in it’s first weekend.

It was sold out in the book stores. It was sold out in the alley, (they still had crack). It was soldout in the fuckin’ Dominion when I went to pick up a bag of "spunions". How surprised was I? This book is sold in Dominion?

I have to tell you although I applaud J K for rakin’ it in, I find this whole book business very frustrating. Why? Because as an aspiring author working on my third book, of what is referred to in the circle as, "Dicklit." I’m quickly realizing that unless it’s, "chiclit," I have what you might call a snowball's chance in hell of finding my book in Dominion one day.

After all, 80% of the book buying public are women and the other 20% are out shaking their macho bravado with Tom Clancy and John Grisham. Not exactly a captive audience when you’re trying to make people laugh with dick and fart jokes.

Perhaps I’m attacking this all wrong and should adopt a new approach? First I could change my name to ...hmm...let’s say Christina Strange. Fool everyone into thinking I’m a brilliant female author on the rise.

Then I could make all my leading male characters female. Just so happens, the new novel I’m working on, would have a strong female lead who cleans outhouses for a living. This is a potential goldmine! Women talking about sex and fart jokes isn’t "dicklit," it’s Bridget Jones with strength.

Then I need a catchy title. Maybe even something, buyers will mistake for another book and pick up by accident. How about, "Hairy Putter and the Half-erect Penis."

Let the query letters fly.