What you really need is a franchise where you just pick up the phone, take their money, print off a brochure and a couple of tickets and vouchers, fire them off in the mail and you're done. Next!
Here at Strangedaze I am opening a new business, that for a modest fee, you can buy a franchise and it will all be that simple.
We're talking luxury accommodations in the Afterlife with packages to suit all denominations.
The Standard package: Starting as low as $1,999.00- For the non believer, this package allows you to protect your ass just in case there really is a God and Heaven. Includes continental breakfast for all eternity and daily maid service. Price based on double occupancy.
The Christianity Tabula Rasa upgrade: $2,879.00- Includes the above as well as a get-out-of-Hell-free card. All sins will be wiped clean and you'll get a personal 8 x 10 autographed welcome from Jesus.
Hey Judaism package: $3,659.00- Oye! Own your personal piece of Heaven away from all the other Goyim. Includes mazuzza's to hang on your cloud in this luxurious, ham-free environment.
72 Virgin upgrade: $4,500.00 (our most popular seller and a bargain for all those virgins.) This a big seller with Muslims and other denominations alike. Just make sure the cheque clears before your suicide mission.
Catholicism Pedo upgrade: $8,775.00 For those who crave a little taboo in the Afterlife, this package is for you. From milk carton to your personal space in hedonism, choose from a multitude of nationalities- available in male or female.
Please note: There are no blackout periods until Dec. 21st 2012. After that date, only Premium Club card holders will have access to the package of their choosing. So book now!
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