You know, there are always Franchise trade shows touting freedom by owning your own business. If you call freedom making little or no money for years while you work your fingers to the bone then I guess what they sell is true.
What you really need is a franchise where you just pick up the phone, take their money, print off a brochure and a couple of tickets and vouchers, fire them off in the mail and you're done. Next!
Here at Strangedaze I am opening a new business, that for a modest fee, you can buy a franchise and it will all be that simple.
We're talking luxury accommodations in the Afterlife with packages to suit all denominations.
The Standard package: Starting as low as $1,999.00- For the non believer, this package allows you to protect your ass just in case there really is a God and Heaven. Includes continental breakfast for all eternity and daily maid service. Price based on double occupancy.
The Christianity Tabula Rasa upgrade: $2,879.00- Includes the above as well as a get-out-of-Hell-free card. All sins will be wiped clean and you'll get a personal 8 x 10 autographed welcome from Jesus.
Hey Judaism package: $3,659.00- Oye! Own your personal piece of Heaven away from all the other Goyim. Includes mazuzza's to hang on your cloud in this luxurious, ham-free environment.
72 Virgin upgrade: $4,500.00 (our most popular seller and a bargain for all those virgins.) This a big seller with Muslims and other denominations alike. Just make sure the cheque clears before your suicide mission.
Catholicism Pedo upgrade: $8,775.00 For those who crave a little taboo in the Afterlife, this package is for you. From milk carton to your personal space in hedonism, choose from a multitude of nationalities- available in male or female.
Please note: There are no blackout periods until Dec. 21st 2012. After that date, only Premium Club card holders will have access to the package of their choosing. So book now!