Monday, August 04, 2008
Thank God they didn't make shit like this when I was kid #2
The Pee-Pee Teepee
It's not just a mechanism to block rogue urine sprays , it's a festive party hat for your baby's junk!
We noticed they are sized so adults can wear them too, but you might consider not breaking it out at the next office shindig. You don't want your last name being synonymous with HR's "Penis Hat" precedent for inappropriate conduct.
O'Pair Baby Leash
This is a great way to teach your children "I trust you exactly none." Think of it as a renewed umbilical cord designed to transfer shame instead of nutrients.
Note: this product is NOT recommended for joggers. That's a mistake you'll only make once.
Helmet jokes are too easy and, frankly, a little unfair. Babies learn to walk with a drunken stagger that invariably gravitates towards peril in all directions. A little protection is sensible enough while they are too young to be scarred by it (babies don't develop the shame gland until 18 months).