Monday, May 19, 2008

It was a weak week anyway

Had to say this whole May 24 on the weekend of the 17th really screwed me over. So much so, I actually missed the news and reviews segment this week.

However, in actuality you didn't miss much- Paris was in London promoting her new fragrance......unless it smells like someone just uncorked a bottle of fuck who would be interested?

Ellen DeGeneres told viewers she's getting married....we already know she munches rug, so what's the big whoop?

Queen Victoria was born a shit-load of yeas ago....Swell. Just pop the fireworks already.

And that sums up a rather mundane week with three weak stories.

So instead, as not to deprive you of controversy and comment, I present the three most offensive jokes I heard over the weekend.

Offensive joke #1

What has 9 arms and sucks?

Answer: Def Leppard.

Offensive joke #2

What's the best thing about sex with twenty-nine year-olds?

Answer: There's twenty of them.

Offensive joke # 3

How do you make a five year-old cry twice?

Answer: Wipe yourself off on her teddy bear when you're done.

Hey! I'm just the messenger.

Cross posted on Mitchieville.

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