Saturday, May 03, 2008

Clemens denys putting rocket into 15 year-old

You might have thought Roger Clemens would have done just about everything he could possibly do to destroy his reputation over the last few months. Showing up in the Mitchell Reporter, crashing and burning in his last start as a Yankee, looking like a fool in front of Congress. What could be worse than all that? Oh, I dunno ... how about ... starting a 10-year affair with a 15-year-old country music singer?

She sure is purdy.....What, did Clemens hit her with a fast ball? Take first base baby.

Mindy McCready is a country singer who sang "Guys Do It All the Time," which was apparently some sort of country hit. Anyway, she's had a ton of personal problems in the last few years; this photo was taken she was arrested after a fight with her mom. She had a OxyContin addiction, once stole a truck and forced the driver to act as a hostage and tried to kill herself at least twice. It's the type of thing that might result from starting to date Roger Clemens when you were 15.

However, it's also the stuff great country singles are made of.

The New York Daily News has Clemens' denial, but minces few words.

Obviously, Clemens believes in the theory that if there's grass on the field, play ball.

Mike's Hard on the minor

A couple temporarily lost custody of their son after the father accidentally bought him an alcoholic lemonade drink at a baseball game.

This isn't about Roger Clemens again is it?

When Christopher Ratte bought his son Leo, 7, lemonade at a Detroit Tigers game, he did not expect to face an accusation of negligence and lose his son to foster care.

Ratte, a professor of archaeology at the University of Michigan, purchased a beer for himself and a bottle of lemonade for his son, not realizing that the lemonade was actually Mike’s Hard Lemonade, an alcoholic beverage.

Those professor fellers sure am smrt.

Iran ban on Barbie

The Iranian government's recent ban on Barbie dolls shows the government's desire to move away from the West. The blonde bombshell was added to the growing list of Western things Iran has banned. General, Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi, expressed his desire to protect Iran's "Islamic culture".

What's next? Ironman? Grand Theft Auto IV? This madness must end!

Cheque this out

A North Texas man- who was not Roger Clemens- was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious.

Perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off?

Friday was: International Tuba Day

The first Friday in May is a day to appreciate all things related to tubas.

Does that include a tuba toothpaste?

Seven things the average guy will do this weekend.

Play GTA IV For 40 Hours without sleeping or showering.

Build a working suit out of metal and fight crime as a tribute to the Iron Man movie.

Get pulled over by the police for driving erratically because you've been playing GTA IV.

Try and pick up some ladies. Unfortunately, girls don't go for a guy who smells like dirty cheese, is wearing a suit made of metal and is carrying a tuba. That's OK they were only 15 anyway.

Drink yourself into a haze after realizing that you have wasted so much time crafting your suit of armor.

Grab some Arby's, because secretly, everyone is thinking Arby's.

Shower and get some sleep because you smell terrible and look like garbage after playing GTA IV for 40 hours.

Cross posted on Mitchieville.

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