Sunday, April 20, 2008

A Strange future indeed

Forget this week. Just forget it! Disregard the code blue water consumption messages sent out. Never mind the climbing gas prices. Turn a blind eye to that frickin’ Polygamist Texas compound where the uni-browed women all look eerily the same and will all be played by Glenn Close in a Movie-of-the-week.

The future is far more alarming. That’s right. Ol’ Strange is going to take a gaze into his crystal ball and show you the future- 20 years into the future to be exact.

April 2028:
Guns and Roses finally released the long awaited “Chinese Democracy” album this month, but does anyone still care? Axl Rose pictured here was said to be mildly ecstatic before he crapped his pants and his diaper needed to be changed. The original line up was set to tour until Slash broke his hip last month when he fell from his motorized scooter on the way to Time-Warner-Walmart.

Oh eau!

Price of water hit an all-time high this week topping out at $108 a bottle. Arab nations screamed foul when the much sought after commodity spiked yesterday.
A spokesman for the industry said, "If only we had heeded those warnings to conserve water way-back-when, we wouldn't be having this problem." He also warned water could go as high as $140 a litre.

Naked Gun dead at age 102

Leslie Nielson died this week when he was killed in a freak gardening accident. The actor best known for his rolls in the "Naked Gun" & "Airplane" movies also had an unprecedented list of awards to his credit, the last being, "Mr. Nude New Brunswick 2027", an award he garnered just last year.

Clinton/Obama sex scandal finally revealed.

It had long been speculated. In fact, since the 2008 presidential campaign the whispers had steadily grown. Now twenty years after the fact, damaging evidence has surfaced pointing to a torrid love affair that lasted years between Clinton and Obama. Yet, even with this new information, Bill denies having "sex with that man".

Open up case #17

President Howie Mandel, now serving his second term, has had a hard month, not only has he had to deal with the Mexican Peso surpassing the U.S. Dollar, but all-time public concern to finally bring home U. S. troops.

President Mandel said he will issue the order that will see the first wave of infantry returning from Antarctica- believed to be the last known hiding place of Taliban rebels and weapons of mass destruction- by January 2029.

President Mandel also stated he believed the long conflict would finally end with a new offer from the Banker.......Osama......Deal or No Deal!

Cross-posted on Mitchieville

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