Friday, January 25, 2008

Return of the Pit

The game is set, the outcome hardly in question, another mindless distraction to take you five hours closer to death.

That's right children. I'm taking about another ho-hum Super Bowl between the Patriots and the Giants. Perhaps the biggest mismatch of the playoffs- David vs Goliath, Roe vs Wade, that annoying rash vs your scrotum. Use whatever analogy you want it won't change the final result. Super Bowl Sunday will be a yawn fest.

However, from the ashes, rising like a phoenix, a shadow is emerging, hope is glimmering, children are crying- the return of the Pit is imminent.

On Super Bowl Sunday, the greatest man-eating machine ever will return to the Wing Shack in Whitby to take what should have rightfully been his last year, (if not for some scag-tagged, large-breasted harlot), the Chicken Wing Eating crown.

Finally there is now a reason to scream with joy, to gape in awe at the remorseless mastication, to wake up at half time, for the Mighty Pit has returned.


Babosa said...

He will be vigorously training, perfecting his technique, giving the commode a workout of extreme proportions! All to claim what was rightfully his last year! We all support his quest, but does anyone know where I could get a HAZMAT suit?? The after affects will be lethal!!

Strange said...

I feel your pain.....or rather, smell it.