...and to all a good night after you give them this dreck, or dreck the halls if you will?
Camel head (for that special girl)
Come on, it's better than camel toe don't you think? Besides, what guy wouldn't want his special lady to wear this to bed? Ever since that CSI episode involving people dressed up in animal costumes scritching one another, this idea has really appealed to me.
Although I'm not sure how I'd explain the semen stains to the Dry Cleaner....
The Dick Putter (for that special guy)
Not sure the message you'd be trying to send here: You're a dick, I don't get enough dick, You're dick's a tiny little putter and the mailman is the one with the driver, Thank you for the camel head?
However, I'm sure there is one. Just ask before you bat her over the head with it.
The USB Gimp (for that special teen)
I can't count the number of times someone has mugged me for my memory stick, wishing I had somewhere to hide it where it wouldn't be discovered outside of my asshole.
Enter the USB Gimp and worry no more. Although asking your teen to wear this ugly bugger might lead them to getting a similar item they can stick pins in and looks remarkably like you.
The Toy Virus Toy (for that special child)
Or you could just get them something made in China. It would be equally as effective.
Is it just me or are Asians really fucked up trying to market all this crap?