Really, if you look at it. Women have always been the recipients of the lavish rewards. They know how to get what they want, while the male has to work , sometimes even beg, for acknowledgment.
Hell, an aroused woman could have a dozen men with erect members, ready to club her to death like a baby seal, if she wanted. It’s not fair.
But let me let you in on a little secret. As a man, as a dad, I don’t really care, (except about the sex part). I just want to be left alone to do my thing. Whether it’s watch golf, lie in my own vomit, wank to porn, or wank to porn while I lie in my own vomit, just leave me be.
Besides, there's a more important day coming up with cause for celebration. Tax freedom day this monday.
You're richer than you think
Ken Thompson died of a heart attack at 82 this week. The multi-billionaire was the wealthiest man in Canada and one of the wealtiest in the world.
As sad as this may seem, I take it as a sign of good fortune. You see, I’ve just moved up a notch in the pecking order of riches.
Woo-hoo. I’m going to enjoy the comfort of my lofty perch as Canada’s 15,857,694th wealthiest person. Common help me celebrate. Books of matches and paper clips for everyone.
South Toronto? I knew it!
With all the arrests recently of terrorists and gang members, one doesn’t feel very safe in the Big Smoke anymore.
As one U.S. congressman stated, "all the trouble seems to be emerging from South Toronto."
South Toronto? You mean like the Beach? Or perhaps he meant Toronto Island Airport or Queen's Quay the admitted hotbeds for gang violence and terrorist activity. I’m sure the people in Scarborough and Jane and Finch feel a lot better about where they live now.
The shirt off her back
That Jolie Pitt baby is at it again. Apparently little Shiloh appeared with her proud parents on the cover of some mags wearing a trendy T-shirt this week and caused near pandemonium as similar shirts flew off the retailers shelves.
Good thing she wasn’t just wearing a diaper.
Big Ben's a big mess
Ben Rothlesberger, quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers was in a motorcycle accident this week when an elderly woman pulled out in front of him.
Any chance she’s a Seahawk fan?
Ben, who wasn’t wearing a helmet, (because it isn’t mandatory), suffered pretty much broken everything and spent several hours in surgery.
Not wearing a helmet? Too many QB sacks Ben? Good thing helmets are mandatory in the NFL.
Weighty issues
New studies inform us, beer can prevent prostate cancer.
The bad news, or good news, depending on how you look at it, is you’d have to drink at least 17 beers a day in order for it to effectively reduce your chances.
Hurrah! Dr. Jelly Finger says I don’t have prostate cancer. Shame about my liver.
Further studies show coffee drinkers have less chance of developing cirrhosis of the liver than their decaffeinated counterparts.
Alright. Now where are those 17 beers?
A report released this week confirms Trans-fats are dangerously high in some fast food items.
Who would have thought?
In fact, some places like KFC had the highest levels globally helping to cause, excessive cholesterol, heart disease, and morbid obesity.
Well as long as my prostate and liver are ok.
Wanted dead or alive....make that just dead
You are worth more dead than alive...well at least some people are. Take Elvis for instance. He made 22 million last year. Kurt Cobaine 20 million. Even Einstein, who’s been dead for 50 years, pulled in 12 million.
I tell ya, if my liver and prostate weren’t so healthy, I’d be hanging myself from the ceiling fan right now.
New release this week: Nelly Furtado - Loose (and she has ugly feet)
But I recommend:
The Louvin Brothers : Satan is RealWhere were these guys last week for the 6.6.06?
And to think, when I was in the music business, I couldn't get a deal with Capitol Records.
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