Death becomes us

This week the Mayor lost his father, Mayor Sr.

I am just beginning to find out what a great man he was. GIGC and I were fortunate enough to be able to offer our support to the Mayor in his time of need.

As we age we are all faced with the loss of parents. I myself lost my father last year. It makes you confront your own mortality with the knowledge, you too, will someday pass on.

This was a fervent topic of discussion last evening between myself and our friend base.

Who will be the last surviving member of a wonderful group of lunatics?

And shouldn’t there be some money up for grabs to the imminent winner?

Needless to say, the birth of the death pool saw it’s inception with everyone kicking in $20 bucks and the understanding with each subsequent death an additional $20 by the remaining mourners will be tossed into the pot.

It is with this in mind I offer up the following scenario.

The players.....Strange, GIGC, OBJ, The Mayor, The Little Dutch Girl, Babosa, Dickie Sanchez, Trebor Enots, Bob Noxious..... Pot size $180.00

February 1st, 2028.....OBJ, more affectionately known as One Ball Joe, lost his footing in the frigid morning air while he was roofing a house and fell three stories to the ground. Although the fall didn’t kill him, in fact, it fixed his ailing back, he slipped and fell when he got up and impaled his one good testicle on a near by garden gnome causing instantaneous death.

Due to inflation and the fact $20 no longer buys a loaf of bread the ante has been increased to $100.

Pot size $980.00

February 4th, 2028.....Sadly at OBJ’s wake, long time companion Babosa, recounting the time OBJ fit 5 chicken dinners into his mouth at once, tried to duplicate the feat, and chocked on a chicken bone. She could not be revived.

Pot size $1680.00

July 1st, 2032.... Bob Noxious was murdered in bed while having sex. He was stabbed repeatedly in the spine by the girl’s angry father. Apparent Bob wasn’t aware the government had again raised the age of consent from 16 to 17.

Pot size $2280.00

October 10th, 2035... Strange died from erotic asphyxiation. The details of which are best left out at this time, but he was wearing ass-less leather chaps.

Pot size $2780.00

June 22nd, 2038....The Little "old" Dutch girl was shot by a former student eight times. Once for every year she held him back. The student in question finally graduated public school at the age of 24.

Pot size $3180.00

December 19th, 2043... GIGC after fulfilling a life long desire to be with another woman, chose a partner who has never seen a razor, and subsequently choked on several errant pubic hairs.

Since a $100 no longer buys a carton of milk the ante is increased to $1000

Pot size $6180.00

August 17th, 2051....Destitute and needing money, Trebor Enots tried to scare the Mayor and Dickie Sanchez to death by jumping out of a closet in hopes of winning the pot. Unfortunately, it was a closet that locked from the outside. His body was found three weeks later.

Pot size $8180.00

November 21st, 2058..... Four years after moving into the same retirement home in the thriving metropolis of Greater Mitchieville, and after repeated attempts on each others lives, Dickie Sanchez eventually succumbed to his injuries after being pushed down a flight of stairs.

His jet propelled walker was blamed for the mishap and Pfizer was forced to payout a multibillion dollar settlement to Dickie’s only living acquaintance the Mayor.

Pot size $18,000,8180.00

November 23rd, 2058....Two days after the death of his friend Dickie Sanchez, Multi billionaire, The Mayor was mugged outside his prestigious beach resort home in Aruba by an angry mob of impoverished hooligans.