It’s all the crazy stories of idiot drivers who are pulled over in their rush north to cottage country.
The hands down winner this time has to be the truck loaded with 15 family members, none of whom had a driver’s licence.
The vehicle was pulled over in a torrential downpour for speeding where police found two of the trucks occupants operating the windshield wipers rigged up by string.
Look Ma no hands
So we understand it's not just Canadian drivers: A New Zealand man was charged for reckless driving when police pulled him over for driving with his feet, one on the steering wheel, the other to work the pedals.
They also found the poor chap was born without any arms.
Although he didn’t possess a driver’s licence either, the man complained he’d been driving for years and has never had an accident. Regardless he will be charged.
Ya know I’ve been searching for a woman like that.......no, not born without any arms......
A woman who........no, not from New Zealand and minus a valid driver’s permit......would you let me finish!......
A woman who can drive with her feet.
In other news
The Toronto Raptors won the 1st pick in this year’s NBA draft lottery..........yeah I thought as much.
The Country Music Awards were given out this..........Yeah I thought as much.
The newest American Idol was crowned, as Taylor Hicks.......Yeah I thought as much.
God must really hate Indonesians
First , a family of 5 died from the bird flu strain H5N1 in Jakarta. Then, the area is hit hard with a massive earthquake. Indonesia.....isn't that where the Tsunami was? What a tourist hot bed!
Good thing Pitt and Jolie didn’t decide to have their baby there instead of Namibia. Probably would have squeezed out Damian son of the devil instead of their new daughter little Shiloh.
Hung like a horse
Triple Crown hopeful Barbaro suffered a career ending injury moments into the Preakness Stakes last saturday. The horse fractured his ankle and required surgery believed to be life threatening.
Any chance someone from Indonesia owns this horse?
However, as the week progressed, the stallion made a miraculous recovery and will now be put out to stud.
Jesus, if I had a debilitating ailment, or had no arms and drove with my feet, I’d probably make a significant recovery too, if I knew I was going to spend the rest of my days fucking when I wanted.
Dudleys do right
Looks like the Mounties will finally get their man as two male RCMP will wed next month.
Gives a new meaning to the title of "Mountie" doesn’t it? I was always curious about the way the pants they wear, stood out.
The event however, is being kept hush-hush, as to avoid any unpleasant comments and embarrassment for the Harper government who openly oppose the same sex marriage bill brought in by the former Liberal Government.
Meanwhile the marriage will take place in June at an undisclosed location in a Yarmouth, Nova Scotia.
How many undisclosed locations can there be in Yarmouth? Honestly.
The yolks on you
The age old question of, "What came first the chicken or the egg," was answered this week with the oval shell crowned the resounding winner.
A Geneticist, Philosopher, and Chicken Farmer all agreed, the egg had to come first.....shush! Don’t tell the Creationists.....besides God’s too busy trying to kill Indonesians to care.
Bububu...beer, beer, beer, beer
Edmonton advanced to the Stanley Cup final for the first time since 1992, by defeating Anaheim 2-1 last night. They await the winner of the Buffalo, Carolina series.
However, Edmonton’s greatest fear is not who they will face for Lord Stanley's prize, but running out of beer. In fact, it almost happened during their Western Final.
As I understand it, they have nothing to worry about. The Indian guides have been dispatched and new shipments are on there way by dogsled and canoe, as we speak.
Catatonic television
A new reality show will feature homeless contestants thrust together in the same living quarters. They will have to eat from bowls on the floor and relieve themselves in litter boxes. It is believed this will be the first reality show of it’s kind....for cats.
The felines will be monitored through cameras and each week a panel of judges will give one puss the boot.
The ultimate winner gets a contract with Purina. I guess the losers end up in a Chinese restaurant.....I wonder how long the lines will be for the auditions?
New release this week: Les Claypool- Of Whales and Woe
But I recommend: The Handless Organist..........but does she drive with her feet?
...shush! Don't tell the Creationists.
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