Saturday, August 19, 2006

Pictures at eleven?

First of all, I’m staying away from the whole JonBenet Ramsey/ John Mark Karr ordeal. What could I possibly tell you that isn't already known? That he drugged and then had sex with her before "accidentally" killing the six-year-old.

Besides, I have more important rants in mind. Like suddenly, this fuckin' Blog won’t let me post pictures. WTF!

If that’s the case, I’m doomed. The pictures distract from my bad writing. Perhaps squeezing a few more seconds out of an unsuspecting browser who thought he was going to see naked chicks from Pottahawk and is searching my pages frantically to find them.

Now what the hell am I suppose to do to keep your attention? Just use harsh language?

Cock sucker!

Just friends

Jennifer Aniston would like everyone to know, her and Vince Vaughn are not engaged, and have no plans to do so. She also has no plans to have sex with a drugged six-year-old girl. It's so over done anyway.


Snakes will rake it in

"Snakes on a Plane," opened this week to much hyperbole and fanfare.

It’s such a stupid premiss. Yet, it will probably be number 1 at the box office after this weekend.....but, who the fuck cares?

I can’t post pictures!

Ok I realize I’m carrying on like a child at the zoo who’s just lost his red balloon. Which is the most important thing to him in the world....at least until he finds the chimp cages.....but it pisses me off just the same.


Another man’s garbage is your gold

A Delta airline memo to employees recommended, since pay raises were no longer imminent, ways on how to save money. This included going through other peoples trash cans for food and...........

I mean I tried and tried. I can’t get one picture up. NOT ONE!.....no way.............no deal....

You’d think with modern technology something like this wouldn’t happen. I had some really cool pics to post too. Not like the usual garbage I throw up here...... but now, forget it. It’s so last week.

Now it's a good old Goys club

The airline industry continues to struggle with new carry on implementations after last week’s foiling of a terrorist plot.

Added to the list of banned items are aerosol cans and Jews.

The aerosol cans I can see, but Jews?

Sure most Muslims have it in for Jews, however, there’s no reason to ban them from flying. I mean.......

What?....Juice you say?.....Not Jews?........Oh.......Never mind.

You can't ride this Harley anymore

Rufus Harley died this week.

"Who was Rufus Harley?" You say.

Why, only the first person ever to adapt bagpipes to jazz and play with greats like Myles Davis. In fact he was known as the "Pied piper of Jazz."

Now what are the great jazz musicians going to do when they need the Rufus sound? I guess they’ll just have to go back to tossing cats against a brick wall.

Oh, his picture's here BTW, if you want to see what he looked like.

Turning Japanese

Say hello to "Sapporo Honey Brown," after Canada’s biggest independent brewer, Sleeman’s, was bought out by Sapporo of Japan.

With the take-over, "Moosehead" is now the next best thing in Canada.

So, show your support. Be proudly Canadian and go out and get some Moosehead.

Right now, there are people from other countries reading this and wondering what sick, animal-loving, mother fuckers we are.

It’s the principle

School Principle Maria Pantelone, sister of Toronto’s deputy Mayor Joe Pantelone, was charged with throwing human feces at two children.

Personally, I don’t see what the problem is. It’s not like she told them it was chocolate and peanuts. And it’s not like she drugged and then had sex with a 6-year-old. It was just feces tossed at kids who were probably asking for it.

Hell every week on Casual Friday’s at Mitchieville City Hall, we not only wear our comfortable clothes around the Mayor’s office we often chuck bags of our own excrement at one another.

It’s a little messy I’ll admit, but hilarious all the same....wish I could post a picture of it....but you know...that old chestnut.

New release this week (picture unavailable)

But I recommend...... (picture unavailable)

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