A terrorist plot to destroy as many as ten jet airliners, on route to the U.S. in mid-flight, was thwarted this week by London police. As details were released it appeared Mohammad MacGyver had been hard at work with a plot involving explosive concoctions hidden in sport drink bottles easily detonated by ipods, or cell phones.
Now, new restrictions are in place for those traveling by air: no liquid allowed in carry-on luggage. No lubes, no KY, no vials of celebrity fecal remnants, nothing.
Personally, I never travel anywhere with out my much coveted Madonna corn textured nugget, and my phial of Brittany Speers vaginal secretions extracted from her fluffy sausage wallet.
If this keeps up, soon you won’t be able to take anything on board.......so, Snakes on a Plane? How did that happen?
With all this paranoia and security it’s going to be tough for OBL, (Osama bin Laden, not to be confused with OBJ, "One Ball Joe"), and the boys to come up with something more constructively destructive.
What’s next? I suppose they’ll inject their dicks with nitroclycerine and shove plastic explosives up their ass to be ignited with a blue dart.
But this begs the question: How are you going to fuck all those virgins in the afterlife with no penis?
However, all the hoopla is not without a positive spin as gas prices plummeted to under a buck a litre. Thank you Al Qaeda.
In other news
The new Oliver Stone picture, "World Trade Center," opened this week.
I plan on seeing it, so don’t spoil the ending for me.
Manatee in Manhatten
No it’s not a new J Lo flick. The massive animal known as a manatee was spotted in the Hudson River at least three times in the last week; first off the Chelsea and Harlem sections of Manhattan, then to the north in Sleepy Hollow in Westchester County.
Hmm.........now there's an idea. I can hear the reports on CNN already.......
"Terrorists carried out a new threat by releasing hundreds of the sea-loving creatures ladden with explosives into the sewer systems of New York causing massive destruction and loss of life......Oh the hu-manatee!"
At least it would make an entertaining film.
Say, is Samuel L. Jackson free?
As long as they're not Hobbits
A parade later this month in Auckland New Zealand will feature up to 30 porn stars riding on the back of motorcycles or in open cars to promote an erotica exposition.
Jesus! I'd love to see that.
Oh look here comes the "Ass to mouth float."
Say "chowder" Frenchy
The name and logo for the new ABA Quebec basketball franchise has come under severe scrutiny as most francophones consider it offensive. Go here and decide for yourself.
Damn frogs.....always complaining about something.
Fido may be gone but so is my acne
Dog meat has long been regarded as a stamina food in both Koreas, widely consumed on hot summer days in particular.
Well at least they don't have to worry about stepping in shit when they cut the lawn. Can ya tell I'm a cat person?
But a pro-Pyongyang newspaper in Japan reported Wednesday, dog meat has also become increasingly popular among women in North Korea because the traditional Korean delicacy is believed to be good for the skin.
That's a laugh. Everyone knows the best thing for a woman's skin is sperm, or as the Mayor refers to it, "10 CCs of man yogurt".
Shout out
It's been a while since I've increased my blog roll, but I'd like to acknowledge the newest addition: The London Fog. Check his shit out ya little buggers......well....not literally. You know what I mean.
And the Drunken Stepfather. Mainly because I'm a hit whore and he gets a ton of em. He also has a daily buffet of titty pictures......yup.....there's some good eatin'.
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