Sunday, September 09, 2007

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse

Before you watch this, a personal apology to Reg. Apparently "Chocolate Rain" was just the beginning. This guy is going to keep coming back like Jason.

Felon of Troy

Looking near tears and in a voice fraught with emotion, Toronto Blue Jay, Troy Glaus on Saturday commented for the first time concerning his name being connected to multiple shipments of steroids by an Orlando-based pharmacy that is the subject of a criminal investigation.

Unlike St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Rick Ankiel, who after being linked to shipments of human growth hormone in a New York Daily News story immediately announced he had received all his treatment under a doctor's care, Glaus offered what amounted to an extended 'no comment.'

The 31-year-old did not specify if he would address the subject in more detail at a later date.

I don't know....the last time I looked at the stats Troy wasn't hitting the ball like Barry.

Hope I die before I get old

Researchers at Liverpool John Moores University, whose report appeared in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, studied a sample of North American and British rock and pop stars and concluded they are more than twice as likely to die a premature death as ordinary citizens of the same age.

Really? Did anyone include the Stones or Ozzy in this research?

Good to the last pop

The three companies that sell Orville Redenbacher, Act II, Pop Secret and Jolly Time microwave popcorn are planning to revamp their microwave popcorn formulations to remove diacetyl, which was been linked to cases of bronchiolitis obliterans, a rare life-threatening disease often called popcorn lung, the Associated Press reported on Wednesday.

At least one man who ate several bags of butter-flavored microwave popcorn each day developed a life-threatening lung disease possibly caused by the additive, which gives popcorn its buttery flavor, Reuters reported.

Whew! I'm glad I stuck to huffing glue.

Suit follows suit

Kyla Ebbert, 23, was recently escorted off a Southwest Airlines flight by a male customer service supervisor for wearing the outfit shown in this photograph. The college student and Hooters waitress was later permitted to return to the plane and take her flight, but only after she put up a fuss and adjusted her outfit. She is currently seeking legal representation to sue the airline.

I know how she feels. I was once told to leave a flight after I used my penis to stir GIGC's rye and ginger.....frickin' tight wads.

Scare Air

Nine people were hurt Thursday night when WestJet Flight 80 from Calgary to Halifax suddenly plummeted like an airborne roller-coater as it hit a patch of turbulence.

Paramedics were waiting at Halifax Stanfield International Airport and used food service trucks to lift them into the plane to pull injured passengers from the aircraft.

Seems to me they should have that chick from Hooters on the flight. They could have prevented most of the injuries.

I'd like to be the bigger man

It seems I may have angered some opera fans with my insensitive use of Pavarotti's death for my own personal gain. I am deeply sorry and will do my best to make it up to song.

I see a big silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch it must be Pavarotti
He died from pancreatic - cancer it was tragic
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Pavaratti did Figaro - magnifico

Easy come easy go - will you let him go
Bismillah! No - we will not let him go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let him go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let him go - let me go
Will not let you go - let him go (never)
Never let you go - let him go
Never let him go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, I never saw that play
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
for me
for me!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure, but I think I'm still going to hell?

Cross posted on Mitchieville

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