Thursday, November 30, 2006

It's all about milk, chips & cookies

With Christmas just a mere 2,160,000 seconds away, there seems to be controversy swirling around the use of unpasteurized, or raw milk. And you should really know the poop before you leave out a glass or two for Ol’ St. Nick.

On one hand, health officials warn of E-coli, and a visit from your favorite relatives Sam and Ella if you pull up a bar stool and get it on tap directly from the cow.

On the other side, farmers complain of loss of taste and nutrients once the pasteurizing process is complete.

Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I don’t drink milk.


Tis the season for Debit Card theft. So much so, the banks are getting all Scrooge McDuck on counterfeiter’s by introducing a new electronic chip to cards for 2007. The Debit cards will be much harder to forge and save the industry/ consumers billions in stolen revenue.

Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I seldom use my debit card.


It appears some female celebrities alla Brittany, Paris, Lindsay, are in the Christmas spirit. They’ve taken the giving mood one step further with the paparazzi and the adoring public, by wearing short skirts minus the underwear, so all may catch a glimpse of a catcher’s mitt Johnny Bench would be proud of.

Do you know what I’m saying? A little whiff of Tuna Town, the winking pink, some clitoral bubble-gum.

Health officials warn this practice is not only uncouth, but dangerous— not as dangerous as unpasteurized milk mind you, but this is the notorious trio we’re talking about who have ground more sausage than Schneider’s.

Certainly someone like Jennifer Aniston would be ok. Her quiff would conjure up images of kittens and fresh baked cinnamon rolls.

Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I haven’t munched on a decent cookie in some time. But that’s not really my call is it?

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