A few weeks back I lamented GIGC’s near miss on the football pool. It robbed us of an easy $80 bucks or so mainly because their were a billion winners and the pie was cut too thin. However, just the other week there was only one winner and the estimated prize was somewhere in the vicinity of $400,000.00 smackers.
To make matters worse, it was won by a woman who knew nothing about the sport. She hadn’t even heard of football until 2 weeks prior for Christ’s sake. She slaps down some dopey picks that no one in their right mind would make and....presto! Wins megga.
This week I have decided to follow her lead. Forget I know anything about the NFL and make my predictions based on sheer stupidity so that you and I, my brothers and sisters, may share in the financial bounty.
KC vs St. Louis
St. Louis’ uniforms are much more fashionable and stylish.
Take St. Louis.
Cincinnati vs Baltimore
I’m told the Ravens take their moniker from Edgar Allen Poe. The Bengals on the other hand, I’ve never heard of a literate tiger, have you? Baltimore
Houston vs New York Giants
New Yorkers have had such a tough time of it, haven’t they? God, I feel so sorry for them. While in Texas everything is so big. They think they have it all. You know what? Time to put those Texans in their place. New York
Titans vs Jaguars
All I know is, a Titan reminds me of a silly movie done with claymation monsters, where as a Jaguar is a car rich bastards own.....Oh I wish I was a rich bastard..........any hoo, you don’t get a Jaguar unless you’re successful so, Jacksonville
Dallas vs Washington
Cowboys and Indians never excited me, but maybe the Indians should win one for a change? There’s no place for stereotypes in this world......Maybe you should disregard the "rich bastard" comment from my last pick? Redskins
Green Bay vs Buffalo
I'm told quar-ter-back--- is that how you say it?--- Brett Farve has had such a tough time in his personal life over the past few years. Does he live in N.Y.? That aside, if I were on a desert island like in Survivor Cook Islands- oh that Ozzie is such a hunk- I’d certainly eat cheese before I’d touch Buffalo. Green Bay
New Orleans vs Tampa Bay
Tampa- Sunshine, palm trees, little boozie drinks with pink umbrellas..... New Orleans broken levees, devastation.....oh those poor people.... Tampa should let them have the little misshaped, brown ball all game, in my opinion, after what they’ve been through. New Orleans
Atlanta vs Detroit
Jiminey Crickets! This is a hard game to call. It comes down to Michael Vick’s ass. Man what a nice ass. Ok definitely Atlanta.
Miami vs Chicago
I have never been swimming with a bear, (can they even swim?), but I have with a dolphin and they are so cute and gentle. Miami
Minnesota vs San Francisco
At this time of the year who wants Minnesota anything? San Francisco is more scenic what with the market and the bridge and the trolly cars and the hills and all the colorfully dressed men. 49ers
Cleveland vs San Diego
Brown is such a drab color unless you have the right shoes and purse to match, but San Diego’s logo reminds me too much of Buffalo’s hockey team and that disgusting Donald Trump hairpiece they have on their jerseys now. I'll bet Donald Trump has a Jaguar. Cleveland
Denver vs Pittsburgh
OK Pittsburgh I’m told you won it all last year. Now it’s time to play nice and share with your friends. Let others win. Besides, their coach looks so mean. Does he ever smile? Denver
Colts vs New England
Isn’t Tom Brady just dreamy? And he had a TV show named after him. I never heard of the Manning Bunch? New England
Monday- Oakland at Seattle
Flip a coin. Too much else to watch on Monday night like Deal or no Deal at 8:00 PM, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Friends reruns and.....Oh! and Dr. Phil!
*flip* Oakland
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