Getting ready for Pottahawk: step 5

Choose an appropriate floatation vessel to carry your booze.

The standard transport:




The Dingy:




The Bubba booze export:




The Boo man servant:




The Boo man group:




The penis colossus:




The Koobzie a.k.a. the Boob Koozie:

Pottahawk next Sunday

That`s right friends the day of everything that is good in this world will all come together in less than six days from now. I hope you will make an extra effort to prepare youself for the ultimate party.

For the seasoned veterans- you already know the drill.

For you Green-horns, it is important to pay attention to these pages for helpful tips and stratagies in making you Pottahwak experience the best day ever.

Getting ready for Pottahawk: step 4

Forget the beer. Forget the food. You need to check and make sure you have unique head gear that will set you apart from everyone else.

T-shirts for Pottahawk 2009 double shot

Getting ready for Pottahawk: step 3

Make sure your boat is loaded with a gaggle of females who love to frolic.



and who look good coming as well as going.

What's the furor about the Fuhrer

Once again Hitler shows up to express his condolences. This time for MJ.

Bikinis for Pottahawk piss-up 2009

Getting ready for Pottahawk: step 2

Make sure you have wicked tunes, like this one, to blast out your speakers when you get to the point.

Great moments in Pottahawk history #7

1994: The gloved one, king of pop Michael Jackson, displays his vocal talents while a guest on a boat called "Young Buoys".

A gap to be minded

In preperation for their opening spot on tour with Private Sector's Disputin Rasputin Tour 09, Mind The Gap, or MTG for people who can't be bothered saying "Mind The Gap", will play a sold out gig at Jax Filling Station in Oshawa tonight.

Great moments in Pottahawk history #6

1978: Farah Fawcett shows up to party.

Getting ready for Pottahawk: step 1

Put the boat in the water.


Failed Launch Capsizes Yacht - Watch more Funny Videos

Great moments in Pottahawk history #5

2001 Ed McMahon gets his drunk on and eyes the ladies.

I've been remiss

Sorry my Pottahawk brethren, I seem to have let the week slip away without so much as a peep to the blessed day that is Pottahawk 2009.

I could blame it on any of a number of factors:

a) I'm distraught over the death of Ed McMahon
b) I'm distraught over the death of Farah Fawcett
c) I'm distraught over the death of Michael Jackson

However the truth is, the week just got away from me, that is all.

Tune in tomorrow and I'll try to have some juice.

It's a classic

I love this for Father's Day

Cool Father's Day gifts to set you apart from the rest

Or how about one of those rediculous canned burgers?

Father's Day by the numbers

Last week I blew my wad on the whole Father's Day thing beleiving it was indeed Father's Day. Then I'd found out I'd jumped the gun by a week. Shame on me.

So in restitution I'm posting a more Father's Day shit to make up for it. Enjoy.

10 things to get Kim Jong Il for Father's Day.

The 10 best dad moments in movies.

10 movies made better by Dumb and Dumber.

This time for sure

Great moments in Pottahawk history #4

The first wedding ever to happen at Pottahawk was in 1901, or as the Old-timers called it 19 aught 1.

Graham Handcock and Edna Spunkmyre tied the knot on the shores of Pottahawk that fateful day in July. The infamous Handcock-Spunkmyre union lasted only 41 minutes when Mr. Handcock's new bride ran away with the photographer who took the photo Dr. Colonel "Tex" Obenhymen.

In between taking wedding photos, Obenhymen doubled as a traveling side show salesman selling homemade elixirs. Maybe you've heard of Dr. Bull Horn's Magic Tonic?

It was the turn of the century's answer to Viagra and penis enlargement.

The two set off in a row boat from Pottahawk Point and were never heard from again. Assumed drowned in the high waves, it is said their ghosts still wander the point and can be seen in the reflection of the waters...that is until they turn piss yellow and brown.

Pottahawk T-shirts we hope to see for 2009

Great moments in Pottahawk history #3

Tragedy befalls the 1924 Pottahawk Piss-up festivities after the entire Hamilton Swim Club foolishly decide to try swimming the distance to Pottahawk......from Hamilton.

They drowned in the Welland Canal.

Also the weight of the beer they were carrying didn't help their buoyancy. It was noted the men were all very intoxicated.

The tearful mother of deceased captain Skip Peabody was quoted as saying, "At least my son died with a smile on his face doing what he loved best- serving his teammates."

Amazing yard sale finds

Whew! It was a good weekend haul at the yard sales. I got some cool stuff. Check it out.


Pickin`On Creed: Cost $0.75



Used to be you had to pay a buck or two for a Creed album. Now you can get it for a song, (no pun intended), but bluegrass versions of Creed songs.....that is a rare find my friends.

Squirrel- stuffed and mounted: Cost $2.50



I`ll admit it was a little pricey, but with Father`s Day looming, I couldn`t afford not to.


Dead Pet: Cost $1.75



Sure I could get the same thing for free by the roadside as long as a have a shovel, but this one doesn`t smell. Boy, Dad is really going to love me on Sunday.

Amazing yard sale find of Amazing Spiderman costume: Cost $3.25



Originally the dude wanted $10.00 bucks for this sweet pick-up, but I was able to get him down because of the pit stains.

Hmmm, wonder what he wore at the yard sale after I left......

Unique gifts for Father's Day

How about a custom mounted squirrel After all, didn't you just hear him say, he has a hard time mounting anything these days?

Here's a great site that will keep Dad busy for a while. Guess her muff.

Or how about getting Dad a nice new or used grill? This is the grill he had in mind right?

Father's Day

Great moments in Pottahawk history #1

January 8th, 1997

The attempts to stage a Pottahawk Piss-Up party in the middle of winter fail miserably.

Great moments in Pottahawk history #2

But later that same day the ice-sculpture making competition is a resounding success.

I've got two words for you

This is a new feature where I take two random words put them together and see if there are any sites out there that remotely fit the description.

Sadly today's two words do.

FART + CAKE

Know your anime

We haven't been there for a while so....

Let's see what our good friends, the Japanese have been up too.



What the fu.........

Are those two talking hunks of shit?

Exercising for Pottahawk?

Get in line. There's already a bunch of people ahead of you.

Take a look at the drunk champions.

Pottahawk piss-up 2009....

By the numbers...

Disappointing really.

If you search "Pottahawk", you'll find old Strangedaze on page 4.

Add "2009" to that and I fare only slightly better moving up to page 2.

In fact, you have to add "Piss-up" before you find a first page ranking.

So I've decided to up the ante, since historically all my traffic seems to come in the window between June and August.

I will post something so shocking, so original, so exclusive to Pottahawk, that you'll have no recourse but to tune into Strangedaze on a regular bassis just to see what it is.

Numbers, numbers, numbers

The 10 most delicious miracles

So much for the oil stain of St. Sebastian in my driveway.

The top 10 failed McDonalds food products

Hey how about McChinese, or McTurducken?

The top 10 bizarre job-related illnesses.

I guess masturbators carpal-tunnel wouldn't count since it's not a job.

Amazing yard sale finds

Last weekend I was down in the states. It gave me a chance to do some yard sale shopping south of the border. Seems the Americans are just as fucked up as we are.

Pee & Poo soft plush dolls Cost: $1.50



A little exorbitant I'll admit, but when am I ever going to have the chance to buy plush Pee & Poo dolls again?


Miniature babies Cost: Free



I was afraid to ask, but it was a throw in with the Pee and Poo purchase, so who am I to argue....


The Green Days of Christmas Cost : $2.50



A Christmas album of Green Day songs? Hook a brother up. Except now I have to try and find a turn table on my next yard sale foray.

Pottahawk 2009 warm up

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Once there was a time when this blog ranked right up at the top of Pottahawk searches.

Now, everyone and their mother are posting pics and vids of the blessed day.

Yet, I have faith I can rebuild my sullied reputation. Starting with this Pottahawk 2009 pre-post of T-shirts we'd like to see at this year's event.

Let's take a moment to thank...

The Founding father's of Pottahawk:
(Top row left to right)
Woodrow "Skippy" Martin, "Bean Counter" Bill Basco, Edward "Lovey" Jizrock, Fredrick "Headmaster" Gevensleeves III, William "grumbles" Portaper Sr.
(Front row left to right)
Willie "Bulldog, Buzzy" McGee, Jeremiah "AA" Johnson Jr., Richard "Pedophile" Gramblesbee.

Pottahawk made simple

If you don't know, or have never heard of Pottahawk, let me show you in the simplest possible way.

Pottahawk made simple #1

Pottahawk made simple #2

Pottahawk made simple #3

Pottahawk made simple #4

You're on drugs

Here, let me prove it to you....

You're on drugs #1

You're on drugs #2

You're on drugs #3

You're on drugs #4



Fuuuuuuck! Now I'm hungry.

Only a matter of time

So it's June 1st and summer is on it's way. Although, it doesn't feel much like it some days. But it got me to thinking that Pottahawk is just around the corner.

Ah Pottahawk- the greatest day of the year: better than Christmas; better than a day off with pay; better than finding twenty bucks you forgot about in that sweater pocket; better than the ritualistic sex every Friday...on the last week of the month...before the winter solstice...on a leap year.

Yes-sir-ee....Pottahawk has been very,very good to me, not just in a, fun-drunk-I can see your vagina-way, either. Pottahawk means lots of hits for Strangedaze as people search for debauchery of one sort or another. And I aim to please in that category. With the lack of traffic in the past months as the recession even hits mt Blog, it will we a welcomed change.

This year I hope to be no different as all your favorite blogs should be back from: Where's Boo and Johnny Wad, to Pottahawk T-Shirts, to This Day in the History of Pottahawk.

And let us not forget the pics and vids.

So start cracking open those beers my friends, there is much training to do before the blessed day is upon us.

More B.J. tips for don't spit-swallow

When my man stopped eating all red meat, his cum no longer had that overpowering nasty taste or smell. - Bonny, Oregon

Tip to make it taste sweet: Have the man eat a teaspoon of cinnamon every day. On top of helping the semen taste sweeter, it will lower his cholesterol and also help lower his blood sugar. - Anonymous, Orlando

I think my guy felt a little guilty that I was always swallowing for him, yet he was always incredibly thankful. The second time I did it, he had a piece of gum on hand, which was nice, and even though I usually try and deep throat it, he's had a stick for me after I'm done every time. He usually has gum anyhow, but it's still nice that he thinks of me. - Bev, Akron

Lemon juice to go along with the semen. That's what my woman does. - Anonymous, Louisiana

Just deep throat him and when he comes, it shoots right down your throat. This way you don't taste it or feels its consistency. - Anonymous, Cincinnati

My wife says gulp quickly, don't hold it your mouth. Swallow it all because it gets stringy in the teeth. - Anonymous, U. K.

Try swallowing it together. After he squirts his load into her mouth, they can kiss a long passionate kiss, slowly consuming the juice together. Even more satisfying and exciting is for her to keep it in her mouth while he goes down on her until his mouth is fill of her juice, then they can kiss and mix their juices together as they slowly swallow, making a special sauce like no other. Enjoy :-)~ - Tom, USA

Tips: Play with it for a long while before you actually start the hardcore blowjob, then have him tell you when he's really close, and backoff, do it a few times and by the time you bring him to cum its just a quick 5-10 seconds tops of letting it all pool into your mouth, swallow it and clean anything off by sucking for a few more seconds... makes it all very fun for him. - Nicki, Michigan

Eat a big bag of pear drops - Mark, Manchester, England

Alcohol and fruit combined for the best tasting cum - Lexi, Seattle

Spelling Bee or not to bee

With the spelling bee in full swing this week I thought it might be funny to look in and see how the kids are doing.

More B.J. tips for don't spit-swallow

I try and work up a nice wet mouth with plenty of saliva saved up. Then when he cums, I slurp and swish and really bob my head mixing the jizz and saliva. This also seems to help generate more saliva, which helps thin out the jizz. Guys also seem to really enjoy the "power sucking" right after they cum. Then with one big gulp, I take it down. Sometimes I then pull off him and lick his thighs, belly, whatever. This helps to clean the tongue if needed. - Debbi, Ohio

As a man who loves to be sucked (completely), I had to taste my own cum to analyze why girls don't like swallowing. I think the bleach smell is the great concern and I think it is caused by red meat consumption. After I stopped eating red meat for a week, the bleach smell disappeared (even though I was eating cheese). - Rick, Brazil

Buy wheat grass supplement. Your girlfriend will thank me! - Chris, Tucson

Open up an Equal packet and keep it close by so that when you see your guy's precum, you can put the contents of the packet in your mouth. Then pump as much cum as you can into your mouth and swallow. Satisfaction guaranteed! - Anonymous, U. S.

I have found that no matter how large the cock is, it is all a matter of mind over matter as far as gagging is concerned. With enough practice you will begin to know where your personal threshold is and when the penis is just too deep! I don't think it is a good idea to deep throat the whole time, or a vast majority of the time you are giving head, but when he is ready to cum you should go down deep, let it shoot straight down your throat (this way you won't taste it), and suck him dry. I find sucking him dry helps to also get whatever is left in your mouth down also. - Gen, Louisiana

I find if you don't like to swallow at first, making sure not to breathe through your nose while swallowing helps the gag reflex. Just close your eyes and get it down in all one gulp. After a while it should "cum" easier. - Anonymous,
Philadelphia

Drinking a lot of orange juice does a lot for a sweet semen taste - Rudy, U. S.

One time shortly after Halloween, I had a whole chocolate bar, and later that day my girlfriend gave me head and she said it tasted like chocolate, but bad chocolate. So my tip is to not eat a lot of chocolate. - Anonymous, Phoenix

Make sure he eats fruit. It helps a lot. Also, if you just keep the head near the back of your throat, and just keep swallowing your spit, you may not even notice when he cums. - Anonymous, Las Vegas

Many women find it hard to swallow cum due to the forceful way it shoots down their throats, sometimes causing a gag reflex due to the high velocity and amount of the initial blast. Here's a tip. Pull the penis slightly out of your mouth and touch your tongue to the top of your mouth, blocking the hot/fast injection of semen from hitting the back of your throat. Proceed to swallow once your mouth is full or he stops shooting. - Anthony, California

Then and now #5

The Shining:



10-Year-Old You Says: I didn't understand this movie at all. I got kind of bored in the middle and started playing with my He-Men.


24-Year-Old You Says: Dude. Seriously, this is the scariest movie you will ever see in your life. I am not joking, dude. I almost shit myself when that little kid started screaming "Redrum!" at his mom. And then you see that he's yelling "murder." Shit man, it still gives me shivers. And those little dead twins covered in blood? God. Sooooo freaky. HOLY SHIT! I almost forgot about the super old nasty-ass naked lady in the bathtub. Could you imagine seeing that shit?!?! You would fuckin' die, dude. You would seriously fucking die. I heard about this one kid who watched this on mushrooms and he had to go to the hospital and he didn't talk for like a month straight. Totally insane. This movie will freak you the fuck out.

Then and now #4

Nightmare on Elm Street:



10-Year-Old You Says: Freddy Krueger used to kill children so all the parents in the town burned his house down. Then Freddy came back in their kid's dreams and would kill them using this cool knife glove. He kills them in their sleep, but they die in real life. And their parents don't believe that Freddy's killing them cause they think they're just nightmares. Then the girl sets her alarm so she'll wake up right as she's fighting Freddy and bring him into the real world so her cop dad can arrest Freddy and send him to jail. But instead she has to kill him with all these traps she set for him in her house, but Freddy kills her mom anyway before he dies.


24-Year-Old You Says: Dude! Johnny Depp totally got his ass handed to him this movie! That was, by far, the best part. My gf has this super huge crush on him, so it was awesome to see him get sucked into that bed and turned into that spout of blood. When I saw that I went up to her and was all, "Where's your boyfriend now, huh? You still think he's hot when he's all blood and shit coming out of that bed?" She just told me to shut up and didn't give me any nookie that night. That sucked, but it was still worth seeing that pretty boy get what was coming to him. My one problem with this movie, though, is why does Freddy talk all the time? He's trying to be some kind of corny-ass joke-telling comedian instead of slicing the shit out of dudes like Johnny Depp. If he would've shut the hell up for two seconds he could've killed the shit out of Depp 10 minutes into this flick. I think that Robert Englund guy still goes around to conventions dressed as Freddy. That's so sad. Get a life, dude.

More B.J. tips for don't spit-swallow

Right before your guy gives you his load, take one opened Equal packet and dump it into your mouth. Then you will have a tasty sperm swallow. - Das, New England

Practice in the shower. Then, if you have to spit some, it is easy to clean up. When you feel no pressure to swallow, swallowing is easier. - Dawn, U. S.

I have learned that sometimes it is easier to swallow cum like you are taking a shot of liquor. - C., Virginia

First timers should drink ice water first. It kills some of that taste! - Silky, Norway

Cola and/or Pepsi have proven to be very efficient when it comes to masking the taste. Give your girl a can of this beverage right after you've shot your load inside her mouth. Then she drinks the Cola/Pepsi and the semen will go with the flow. - S., U. S.

My tip is to just swallow in one big gulp, no taste. - Lori, New Orleans

Deep throating is great, but it can go up your nose - backwards. Make sure his dick isn't aiming at your Eustachian tubes, if you can. - Anonymous, U. K.

Do not try to stop breathing, like how you hold your nose to avoid a bad taste. If you stop breathing, it is harder to just swallow, and gagging happens and it gets all in your mouth. Also, boys, try to eat more fruit - strawberries and pineapples work best. - Caroline, Ohio

Suck his cock back as far as you can. That way when he blows it, you won't taste it at all and practically won't even know he came. - B., British Columbia

Just don't think about it. Imagine it as a good beverage, like tea, or some juice. - Anonymous, Oklahoma - Give him some pineapple juice to drink. It cuts the saltiness. - Terri, U. S.

Then and now #3

Scream:



10-Year-Old You Says: My friend Billy has that scary Scream mask and sometimes when I sleep over he turns off the lights and we take turns putting it on and scaring each other. He even puts on a black banket just like the guy in the movie and runs down his hallway. One time we got in trouble cause I actually thought he was the killer and I started crying and his mom got mad and made us stop and I had to go home.

24-Year-Old-You Says: To be honest, man, I was so wasted when I saw this that I really don't remember anything about it. Did Drew Barrymore get stabbed in the boob or something? I should see this again. My bad. I went as that Scream dude one Halloween. I had no costume, so I just bought that mask and went to this party where I totally hooked up with this chick. She was dressed as a naughty nurse...or a naughty cop...shit. She was a naughty something and she was totally hot, dude. It was an awesome party.

Then and now #2

This is the second instalment of a look at classic horror films reviewed by the 10 year-old you and the 24 year-old you.

Friday the 13th 3D:




10-Year-Old You Says: Jason is THE most biggest killer ever. He totally doesn't care who he kills cause he goes around with a machete getting revenge for his mom. She got killed in the first one cause she thought he was killed by a camper. But he came back and now he just kills everyone. This is the first one where Jason gets his hockey mask cause he stole it from a fat kid he killed who was trying to scare everyone. But then Jason totally killed him. Then he shot a spear in this girl's eye and at the end his mask comes off and his face is totally gross cause he'd been underwater and had gotten killed before. I asked my mom to leave the hall light on after I watched this one.


24-Year-Old You Says: This movie was supposed to be in 3-D, but I guess their 3-D machines totally sucked back in the 80s cause shit just looks blurry when something is supposed to be coming out of the screen. Lame. And there were almost zero titties in this one. And there was a shower scene! What the hell? I mean, it's already rated R. Might as well toss in a few tatas here and there. Na'mean, bro? Although this one part was pretty awesome when this guy is walking on his hands and then he looks up and Jason takes an axe to his crotch and cuts him in half. I'm totally going to do that to my boss, Duane. I effin' hate that guy.

Amazing yard sale finds

Weird sign Cost: $1.50

Not sure where I'm going to put this....probably the bathroom just to keep guests wondering when they use the facilities.





GILF Blow-up Doll: Cost: $2.10

Have to admit my curiosity got the better of me on this purchase. Hope there's no holes....well you know...other than the obvious ones.





Poopy Time Fun Shapes: Cost $1.50

You'd think I'd be giving this away as a gag gift, but I kind of want to keep it for myself. Plus this could double as a cookie dough shape maker for the next Oscar Party.

Then and now #1

With the Summer movie season well under way with blockbuster releases I thought it might be fun to look back at some classic horror movies from our younger days and see how they stand up over the course of time.

So here is the first in a series of movies reviewed by the 10 year-old you and the 24 year-old you.

Halloween:



10-Year-Old You Says: This movie was so scary I had to ask my dad to look in my closet and under my bed after I watched it. It's about this guy who kills his sister and then goes crazy and they have to take him to a crazy house cause he's bad. But he gets out and follows this girl while he's wearing a mask and there is scary music playing. And then in this one part, this guy is in the kitchen and he's wearing glasses and then the bad kid, who's grown up now and killing everyone, grabs his neck and takes a knife and stabs him in his chest and sticks him to the wall. And he's just stuck there in the air with the knife in him.


24-Year-Old You Says: Man, this movie totally sucked. It took forever for anything to happen cause it was nothing but this dude standing far away in a mask for the first hour and twenty minutes. Like that's supposed to scare me. On the upside, there were some titties in the very beginning when that little dude slashes up his sister, but, like, the titties were getting stabbed, so they were kind of weird. Then there were some titties, like, an hour later, but by then I was totally snoozing. I also heard that Jamie Lee Curtis was born with a dong. That shit's crazy, man! They shoulda totally showed that dude in the mask stabbing her dong. That would've been awesome.

More BJ tips

Don't forget to ejaculate regularly, to make sure the taste stays fresh. Just like with food, the longer your semen stays in there, the less fresh the taste will be. Just try eating 4-day-old donuts and you'll see what I mean! - Lazzo, Holland

When you know he's about to come, I find its best to direct it into the side of your mouth and then swallow it in one big gulp. That way you don't choke on it and you can hardly taste it. - S., Lancaster

You never know what a guy will taste like, so every time I give a blow job, I tell the guy if he wants me to swallow, to put his hand over my mouth after he cums and make me swallow it. No matter how bad it tastes, even if he cums a lot, I always swallow doing it this way. I may feel like barfing, but the feeling passes when a man's strong hand covers my mouth and his other rubs the front of my neck and forces me to swallow his cum. - Brad, California

I personally really enjoy the flavor of my bloke's load...but not after 4 shags in a short space of time, as it gets a bit too salty. If you make sure the first time he cums is when you're giving him head, the better it'll taste. Otherwise, just keep some water nearby. The salt's always good for a sore throat, though! - B., Essex

Hold your breath as you swallow. I learned this because of my parents forcing me to eat ethnic foods that were disgusting. I would hold my breath as I swallowed and I would not taste a thing. Having something handy to wash the cum down is a good idea as well. This has worked for me every time. - Anonymous, L. A.

I am a girl who love, love, loves the taste of my boyfriend's cum! The three best tips I can offer: (1) The flavor and texture of cum noticeably improve when he drinks 3 plus quarts of filtered water a day. (2) Have your guy rinse with plain water instead of washing with soap, so he'll be clean but won't smell like tallow soap or synthetic fragrance -- which are extremely rank smells that clash with his sexy natural aroma. (3) I treat myself to leisurely and generous sniffs of his hair, face, neck, his armpits, his balls, and under his balls. Really taking the time to smell him all over makes for an unbeatable olfactory smorgasbord that goes beautifully with the taste and smell of his cum. Smelling him is a very intimate and fun experience for both of us, and it stimulates the wild animal in me like little else. - J., San Francisco

When I know he's about to cum, I just keep him deep in my throat, let the cum pool there, and then when I can feel he's finished shooting, swallow in one big gulp. This usually gets a big moan - something about my throat muscles tightening at the moment of swallowing. - Niki, Canada

I found out from girls who give head that the best tasting cum is either from a guy who drinks lots of juice, or from a very long blow job. So girls, take your time, and guys hold back. Guys, if you need to, just so you don't come so fast, take a break part way through and eat her out also. - Anonymous, Buffalo

In the beginning, I would just try swallowing, and would choke. I learned to swallow by first swallowing something right beforehand to get my taste buds ready. After a while, you will get used to it and won't need the added help - it will be just you, your partner and the cum. - Z., California

Just find a guy who's got nice tasting spunk and stick with him. - W., U. K.

Amazing yard sale finds

You know, everyone always laments about how they can't find the perfect toy for their kid at X-mas because they're all gone in the shopping frenzy.

Well I'm here to tell you theirs a gold mine out their in toys at your local yard sale. Buy now for literally nothing and don't worry this yule tide season.

Here are some of the amazing purchases I made last weekend for the kids in our family.


Creepy Michael Jackson-like doll for my nephew Steven.
Cost: I was told to just take it....Please!




Brain with legs for my friend's wunderkind kid Nancy
Cost: $0.75




Little Vampire soother kit for my next door neighbor's new born.

Cost: $0.35 but I'll probably have to give it to them by Halloween.



But there you go most of my Christmas shopping for the kids is done for just over a buck.

Starting by the numbers

The 20 worst Bill Cosby impersonations. I like to play them all at the same time so it sounds like a room of babbling idiots talking about pudding.

The 47 best and worst twist endings to movies. Spoiler alert!

The 15 funniest 5 second movies.

100 of the best movie lines in 200 seconds.

Why? because fear sells

Now maybe you'll start reading the book?....OH! and happy Mother's Day!

Klingon Night School

Klingon Night School

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | TV & Movie Spoofs

Better red than dead

They`re the same thing really........

Are you story board?

As we continue our exploration of Star Trek the phenomenon, you might say, "Hey I could do a better job." The movies and series really bore me.

Well, here's your chance smart guy.

Go here and create you own Star Trek story board

To boldly go

With the new Star Trek film set to open...or is it the new-old Star Trek film...I don't know anymore, I thought it would be cool to pay hommage to the series of films etal. this week.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those dudes who dresses up and goes to conventions, pulling my member to cries of, "Fuck the green bitch JIM!"

It's just there are a lot of funny parodies out there that should be explored. Like this one.

A history of Star Trek porn clips.

Now you really can yell, "Fuck the green bitch Jim!" and mean it.

Jizz, puke, what`s the difference....oh right.

Remember the Jizz in My Pants song. Remember how you laughed then went and made a sandwich....and jizzed in your pants.

Now the ladies have a response.....

You pets are on drugs #6

Not really a pet, but on drugs none the less.

Watch Obnoxious Groundhog on CollegeHumor

Here comes yardsale season

A little too early for yard sales you say?

Well you're missing out on the bargoons!

Just check out these sweet purchases I made this morning.

Bacon Lube cost: $0.45



Wow! If I'm ever disinterested in sex, GIGC will just rub a little of this on her cooch and I'll come running!


Harptallica CD cost: $0.25



Nothing says I'm the man like basting Metallica covers in my car with the windows down and nothing says I'm really the man, when those covers are all done on harps.

Further note: I didn't buy the Beatallica CD. They're sooooo yesterday...no pun intended.


Pin the Ovaries on the Uterus Game (Milton Bradley) cost: $1.50



Not as good as the bacon lube, but I had to do something after GIGC always complained when I pinned the real ovaries. Yet, it should be lot's of fun to play this at the next family gathering.

I've been busy...does it show?

If you are a regular visitor to Strangedaze- all eleven of you- might have noticed through the week these pages have been a little sparse of content.

It's not that I have lost my passion to do this, although it may seem I have. It's just, there are only so many minutes you can squeeze out of a testicle in the course of the day.

Time is a commodity at the moment that everyone seems to be buying my shares.

I'm sure things will return to a normal pace over the next month or so and I'll be back to annoying you on a regular schedule.

You pets are on drugs #5

A busy week by the numbers

The 10 most amazing Japanese game show moments.

The 11 best cat puking videos on the internet.

The 55 most disturbing toys ever made.

100 famous movie lines in 200 seconds.

You pets are on drugs #4

Again with the tips

Yup! That's right for those who are still having problems swallowing the motherload, here are more tips to help you reach the promised land.

Just put your tongue above the penis, and let it flow! - Anonymous, U. S.

My tip is to stick the cock at the very back of your throat when he is going to cum and let it roll down your throat. This way the girl will taste nothing, maybe a little aftertaste, but that can be solved easily....and the guy enjoys his whole cock in your mouth. I do it all the time. - Anonymous, Canada -

I got this hint from my mother (of all people). She told me to control the "gag" reflex when trying to deep throat, squirt a little Chloraseptic in the back of your throat before going down on your man. I could never even come close to deep throating my guy till I tried this trick, but it worked fantastic! Not to say that it still wasn't a little uncomfortable, but the reaction from my man was more than enough for me. He was completely amazed. More than a year later, I don't need the Chloraseptic anymore and he thinks I am his own little sex star. - Kim, U. S.

Don't breathe through your nose when it is time to swallow... it cuts WAY down on the taste factor to make it palatable. - Anonymous, Gainesville

I find that swallowing slowly makes me gag less than swallowing fast. - Anonymous, Atlanta

The first time I swallowed, my husband had been drinking Jack Daniels and coke. Since I was pregnant, I was just drinking a coke. I was going down and had never swallowed before. He had cum in my mouth before, but the taste made me sick, so I didn't DARE swallow! Well, after getting it on for a while, he asked me to suck his dick again. I did and was I surprised when he moaned very loudly and shuddered! He had cum in my mouth, and as a reflex, I swallowed. I didn't even taste it, due to the aftertaste of the coke! Anyone who is not sure should try it! Also, flavored, water-based lubricant is absolutely wonderful! You don't taste anything but sweetness! - Heather, North Carolina

All you can really do is swallow A.S.A.P., and after a few swallows of your own spit, the taste should be gone. I actually don't like deep throating because then the taste goes straight to the bitter-tasting taste buds of your tongue, and that's usually where the taste stays. If you just have him cum into the center of your mouth then swallow, the semen will just quickly flow down and the taste doesn't linger. - Bianca, Detroit

Watch out for the power shooter! Sometimes guys shoot with great force. If he blows a healthy load, you may find yourself choking on his goodness. If your guy fires forcefully just pull back a bit - it'll help you from gagging on his cum. - Kyle, North Carolina

Get the guy to go vegetarian. The cum will be sweet and not bitter. - Anonymous, U. S.

My girlfriend always gets me to eat a lot of pineapple the day before she gives me a blowjob. She says it really makes my cum taste sweet. Whatever, no complaints, she's the boss!! All I know is I'm getting a lot more head than I normally would and I couldn't be happier!! - Anonymous, Calgary

I hated swallowing my boyfriend's cum until I just focused on the pleasure it was giving him. I just put the taste of it out of my mind and swallowed. At first it was gross, I will admit, but after a few times I really started to enjoy it. - Anonymous, Ohio

So this is Easter

And the dilemma is, should I post something Easter related or the worst robot sword fight ever filmed?

Hmmm...Easter?.....Worst robot sword fight ever filmed?

Another 10 BJ tips

I barely tried swallowing because of one bad taste experience, but now I always have a glass with Coca Cola ready. After swallowing I drink some cola and it really helps getting rid of the aftertaste. - Joyce, Holland

I like to throw my head back as though I'm drinking a shot. - TD, Maryland

Blokes, swallow some yourself one day, that way you are showing that there really is nothing wrong with it. She may find it wrong to swallow but (let's face it) most guys are very uncomfortable with this taboo. She'll feel a little silly for wondering why she never did it. - M., London

If you deep throat you can barely taste it, not that it tastes bad. I rather enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. - Anonymous, U. S.

Just close you eyes and swallow fast like your taking meds. - Anonymous, U.S.

Ten seconds of yuck doesn't equal ten minutes. Remember, men usually are up to their eyelashes in a woman's juices - so women shouldn't complain about a teaspoon! - Anonymous, Canada

Swallowing my man's cum has never been an issue with me. It's something I've always enjoyed. He inserts his penis inside my mouth and puts it all the way in and then moves back and forth until he explodes in my mouth. I sometimes spit it into a glass and then drink it down. Sometimes I put his cum in my coffee cup; it's better than cream. I would never spit my man's cum out. That would be totally wrong and would make your man think you didn't like it. The taste of cum is a bit different. However, it's not as hard to take as you think and if you really have a problem with the taste there's always mouthwash. - Amy, U. S.

If you don't like to swallow, just ask your boyfriend if it's OK if you have a drink next to the bed. You can come up with an excuse like, "Giving blowjobs makes my mouth dry," or just say you like to have a drink afterwards. You could also tell him the truth, but you'll never know how he's gonna take it (it might be insulting). When you have just swallowed, give him a smile and wait a few seconds before reaching over to your drink to get the sperm-taste out of your mouth. Hardly any man will notice. - Anonymous, Holland

I always found whenever I was receiving a blow job, my 'muff' got in the way, but I never thought anything of it until I was giving the nickname Muffy, my actual name being Murphy. I found that if I give myself a little trim down there, it appears to increase the size of your organ. And if your lover does swallow, she won't choke on anything. My girlfriend liked it a lot more as well. - Muffy, England

Just get his dick far down your throat when he cums! It's brilliant because you miss the taste (if you do not like it - I personally do), and it goes straight down your throat. Plus the boy will really like it. - Minerva, U. K.

How else are you going to pass the time?

Do you know the Wicker Man?

Never one to miss an opportunity to post something from one of the funniest movies of all time....The Wicker Man....I will yet again appease you with Nick Cage and Beethoven's Fifth.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

You pets are on drugs #3

The 10's unit

The 10 funniest trailer mash-ups.

The 10 funniest 911 calls.

The 10 greatest South Park characters of alltime.

The 10 funniest Freudian slips.

Last of the wood

Leg Up

It’s not uncommon to have an erection that curves to one side or the other. If yours does this, you’ll need to compensate accordingly. Use the bathroom walls to brace yourself as you balance on one foot and tilt your body until your curve is pointing down toward the toilet bowl. You might want to install a grab bar by the toilet if you do this regularly.



Superman

If you're a man of steel in the morning, you might as well be a superhero. Tie on the bedsheet for a cape, mount the bowl in a single bound, and make like you're flying. Hopefully the pressure relief will be like Kryptonite for your boner.

You pets are on drugs #2

With a link to the evidence of course.

That is all.

Adding up the numbers

Before they were celebrities they made commercials. Here are 10 of the most embarrassing.

Before they were homeless....wait....that doesn't make any sense. Here are 50 of the funniest homeless signs. Not that there's really anything funny about being homeless, but what the hey.

After they were Rockstars they did some pretty crazy shit. Here are 10 of the craziest Rockstar sex stories ever told.

Black humour for a blue Fool's Day,

A woman successfully gives birth after several hours of labor. The doctor takes the baby and leaves the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly begins to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. The woman screams, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!" To which the doctor replies, "April Fool's! It was already dead!"