Friday the 13th 3D:
10-Year-Old You Says: Jason is THE most biggest killer ever. He totally doesn't care who he kills cause he goes around with a machete getting revenge for his mom. She got killed in the first one cause she thought he was killed by a camper. But he came back and now he just kills everyone. This is the first one where Jason gets his hockey mask cause he stole it from a fat kid he killed who was trying to scare everyone. But then Jason totally killed him. Then he shot a spear in this girl's eye and at the end his mask comes off and his face is totally gross cause he'd been underwater and had gotten killed before. I asked my mom to leave the hall light on after I watched this one.
24-Year-Old You Says: This movie was supposed to be in 3-D, but I guess their 3-D machines totally sucked back in the 80s cause shit just looks blurry when something is supposed to be coming out of the screen. Lame. And there were almost zero titties in this one. And there was a shower scene! What the hell? I mean, it's already rated R. Might as well toss in a few tatas here and there. Na'mean, bro? Although this one part was pretty awesome when this guy is walking on his hands and then he looks up and Jason takes an axe to his crotch and cuts him in half. I'm totally going to do that to my boss, Duane. I effin' hate that guy.
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