Halloween costume ideas

Forget the costumes. Where do I go to be involved in a party like this?

A long weekend by the numbers

13 alcoholic beverages you can make at home. I guess there's no need to buy candy for Halloween now?

10 reasons not to bring someone back from the dead.

30 of the most infamous ghost photos ever taken.

Photo bombs #2

It's not Halloween just yet.




Hey! I used to take my kid there too.




There is no vomit in team.




Star struck?




Gross struck

Somehow it makes more sense

When he was a child, my buddy Bob Noxious claims this scene from Willy Wonka traumatized him for life. So in his honour, I'm posting it today....only backwards.

Is it just me, or were the dudes who did this movie on some serious drugs?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Halloween costume ideas

Optimus Prime: Good luck fitting into the costume unless you're six. And good luck getting around in it at any age.



Mac Guy: You think this is bad? You should see the one for PC.




Birth Costume: Could be as popular as going as Michael Jackson. I've seen these costumes everywhere; Walmart, Toys R Us, Shopper's Drugmart. Get them quick, they're going fast.

Is this ever going to end?

Hot chicks plunging their toilets.

Halloween Costume 101

I hear the one costume that is expected to be a big seller this Halloween is, Michael Jackson. It makes perfect sense to me, other than the Thriller reference, the guy is dead, pumped full of zombie -like drugs, with tattooed eyebrows, lips, prosthetic nose and hair extensions.

It's got me re-thinking my costume choices. I might just buy in and go as Jacko Lantern.

However if you're like me on the best of years, you usually wait until the last minute to decide what to do. So, I will do my best to outline some costume ideas over the next few weeks to guide you to the choice that will make you the life of the party.

The Portal costume: Recommended for those who don't want to move around a lot.



Kim Jong Il: Always a popular choice and all you need is your mom's glasses.



Monster Vagina: Same as the Kim Jong Il costume except, no glasses.

Getting into the spirit...so-to-speak

With Halloween a mere four weeks away, it's time I started posting something a little more seasonal.

5 reasons why you secretly want a Zombie apocalypse.

13 real life animals taken directly from your nightmares.

25 of the creepiest horror movie posters.

It was only a matter of time really

But here it is: Hot chicks with hotdogs in their mouth.

Photo bombs #1

"Thank you God."



I guess East is that way?




"Zoynks!"



Apparently Bigfoot is alive and well and perhaps even the Best Man?



The dude taking the picture did say,"crack a smile".

So it's October

Of course I'm a little late to start posting Halloween stuff. It seems the stores have been pushing costumes, pumpkins and candy ever since school was back in. And I'm sure October 31st the Christmas decorations will suddenly spring up in another effort to evoke a buying frenzy of more shit we don't need.

I find over the years I've become more of a minimalist, tired of being sold from every form of media out there trying to get me to buy this and that.

My mind has started a mini rebellion and I am looking to rid myself of all the crap and clutter to live more simply. The dividing line between the haves and the have-nots is becoming increasingly wider and I no longer wish to be involved.

Sure I understand the value of keeping the economic engine churning, but at what cost.

Perhaps it's time we all just enjoyed the elements of the season, instead of feeling guilted into purchases we don't need and getting fucked in the process.

Where's my chapter?

Sorry, for those of you have been anxiously awaiting the next instalment of Hijacking Heaven, there wasn't one this week.

I was away seeing the Saints dismantle the Bills in Buffalo. Besides I haven't written the next chapter yet.

As a peace offering I present to you: Women with body painted sports uniforms.

It's a numbers game

15 of the lamest musician deaths.

The top 20 websites that hate things.

The top 100 internet videos of the 00's.

What pisses me off: part 3

Stupid, simplistic drawings of anything to do with sexual education bug the hell out of me. I mean if you are going to get your point across, use the real deal graphic, or otherwise, not....hey...I think my kid drew this in the 2nd grade.......Way to go Son!

Something new for a Friday.

Over the years I have come to realize that my friends and I have a knack for....well no so much destroying photos we are in, as enhancing them in a hilarious way. My buddy Bob Noxious especially, has a particular talent for getting in the picture. This is known as a photo bomb.

For instance, below is a picture of Noxious and I ruining Kate Winslet's big Oscar acceptance speech at the 2009 Oscars. I seem to recall her being quite upset that I pushed the statuette into her right nipple. Now you get the idea.



I figured since we seem to be so good at doing this, other must be too and I'm going to start posting Photo Bombs on subsequent Fridays in hopes of ending your week on a high note with a giggle or too.

What pisses me off: part 2

That old frickin' dog from next door that my neighbours let run free and who shits in my yard because he's got no god-damn bowel control cause he's so old and....you know what? I think the dog's dead.

Here come the mid-week numbers

I know you've been waiting weeks for this one. 30 ridiculous taser headlines.

20 of the creepiest feminine hygiene products. There's 20! Really?

The 15 most embarrassing cakes that still look yummy.

Another post gone to the dogs

Since we seem to be on a theme today let us continue with.....

Books involving animals that are so terribly wrong yet funny.

Doggy got a bone?

A few weeks ago I posted a link that showed what happens when you type "Hot chicks" and "Dog shit" into the search engine.

Today is like that , but oh so different.

Sunday numbers

25 awesome lost and found signs.

10 crazy conspiracy theories

The 16 funniest fake bands of all time.

Hey! Anyone seen Rammstein's new video?

Go here then.

But I like their thinking. "You've got a pussy, I've got a dick. So what's the problem?"

Check! All right!

Worst Mic Check Guy Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Hump day by the numbers

10 incredibly nasty Nascar crashes

Should probably grab a beer for that one.

10 people who made it cool to be drunk

Nascar fans?

10 celebrities caught peeing their pants

After being cool drunks no less.

The timless wisdom of...

Danny Devito

Yard sale season coming to an end

But there is still time to pick up some spectacular deals. Just check out what I was able to pick up this morning.

Stress relieving Boobie Ball

Cost: $2.00

Touch it, squeeze it, love it!

I tell ya, I already feel more relaxed.





Some album I didn't want.

Cost: Free

The dude with the Boobie Ball actually begged me to take it...and...well...I really wanted that Boobie Ball.


Vagina Pendants:

The dude wanted $5 a piece, but I managed to get all four for $12.

Well, my Christmas shopping is done.

I said I am your father!

Animals with light sabers That is all.

Honestly, what would you do if I wasn't here?

Dog shit and hot chicks

Every once and a while I like to type words into the search engine that are polar opposite from one another just to see what comes up. Today's search would just happen to be "Dog shit" and "Hot Chicks".

Well crush my left testicle if a site didn't come up that gave me both. I will now share it with you.

Hot chicks and Dog shit.

More timeless wisdom

With Larry David

Yup! On 9/9/09- the day of infinite whatever- this is the best I can do.

Back to school by the numbers

10 pictures of rockers year book snaps. And you thought you looked dorky?

10 things you never say to a woman.

Look, forget your crappy school colours. Here are 10 pro sports team uniforms that bring new meaning to the word vomit.

And on this day...

He rested.

It is after all....Labour Day

Flow-chart of the week

What will happen at your Labour Day barbecue

Hijacking Heaven- Chapter ?

Ok, so no chapter this week. It is after all Labour Day Weekend and I'm taking it off....so-to-speak.

In it's place I present to you....

Signs that won't make you go to church.

The yesterday post that never was

Hitler's back and mad as hell at Disney's recent purchase of Marvel.

The Thursday post that never was

Basically, advice on how to survive anything.

The Wednesday post that never was

Or the timeless words of wisdom from Trailer Park Boys, Bubbles.

The Tuesday post that never was

It's actually a numbers game.....

The 10 greatest post-kill puns.

The 10 strangest ice cream flavors.

The 10 strangest Jeopardy moments.

I guess now you can see why I missed Tuesday's post......

Strange and the real girl

So, I found this site called Real Doll, which , if you've seen that movie "Lars and the real girl", you'd understand.

Apparently their goal is to recreate a companion that is more human than human....



I thought that was the motto of Tyrel Corporation in Blade Runner, or a White Zombie song?....oh whatever.

Anyhoo, they're quite expensive, JESUS! $6,500!, not to mention a little creepy and you can design everything from body type, eye/ hair color to whether you want pubic hair on the cha-cha, or just clean shaven.
And hold on ladies cause they have a few models just for you as well. You can even order the hoo-hoo dilly in extra large if you'd like.

Personally I think the dudes look like those ventriloquist dummies from the horror film where they come to life and kill you as you sleep, but that's just me.

All the while with each alteration *cha-ching* the price goes up.

Yup they sure have come along way from the days of blowing up your own. You know, the ones with the ones with left over Easter grass for hair, permanently outstretched arms and three- count 'em!- three tunnels of love!




So if I had to choose my type from the many faces listed, I'd probably go with.....hmmm....I can't decide, but that's OK, because you can order the whole catalogue of faces an interchange them

I'm still trying to figure out how to pry the mouth open. Damn I hate teeth. Wonder if you can get one without?

Monday morning laugh

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."

Camelot

So guys.....and maybe some women....nothing better to do today than surf the net and waste your time?

Then perhaps a site dedicated specifically to cameltoe is for you.....

Just lazy me on a Friday

So my lazy dog-dangling August continues with yet another quick link-post.

But I know it is one designed to help my brothers in need.

The link says it all.

So my girlfriend just queefed. What now?

Don't look at me. I didn't invent it.

What pisses me off: part 1

I have to say, I've been pissed off with the White House for sometime now. Specifically one inhabitant- all high and mighty, running a once great country into the ground, a war monger with his finger on the button insuring the rich get richer and damn the poor. Why the man can't even string a cohesive sentence together always assassinating the English language with his back-woods, country bumpkin way. Man I hate that dude and all he stands for, as if his father wasn't bad enough when he ran things.....what? Bush isn't President anymore? Obama is?

OK then. I guess that changes my opinion.

Vernon great, band not so much

The last time members of Private Sector performed in Vernon B.C. twenty-five years ago, they were fired during sound check. This time the band played not one, but two sold out nights and blazed through impressive, high-energy sets to the delight of the fans in attendance.

Yet, the after party did not go so well, when back at the hotel, the bands guitarist celebrated by doing a cannonball into the hot tub and subsequently broke three fingers in his right hand.

Bassist Don Barley reported on the accident by saying, "given the intricacies of the guitar parts, we probably could have continued on if there had been only two broken fingers- but three?- Damn his Tomfoolery!"

As a result, Sector will fly back home and the remaining gigs on the Canadian leg of the tour will be postponed. It is expected they will be added to the American dates which begin in October.

The affected cities are Jasper, Ponoka, Lethbridge, Red Deer, Edson, Val Dor, Amos, Quebec City, Levee, Davidson, Pettawawa, Ottawa, and Coberg.

Chart of the week

Choose your own apocalypse

OK Puppet Master, it's all up to you to- as they say in Mexico, "Push de button" and you can add in whatever you want to kill the populace.

See how your senario stacks up. What are you waiting for? Make it blow up real good.

Monday morning laugh

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?"

The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

Saturday by the numbers

15 Internet hoaxes.

The 20 most ridiculous reality TV show fights.

and in honour of Bob Noxious who got another new tattoo this week....210 what were they thinking? tattoos.

bonus link: Strangest news headline of the week.

A little short in a long August

You may have noticed, not much thought has gone in to my posts the last few weeks.

You're right. This happened last September and October too, where I posted a grand total of 19 times a month.

I call it the mid-year-Blog-wall. Just like a runner pounding his way through a 26 mile marathon, I seem to hit the wall around this time of the year and the posts suffer.

...and why should today be any different?

Here is a power point presentation for "So you've decided to fart in public."

Body count is in the house

Hey, ever wonder which movies have the highest body count? Well, wonder no more. Here are the top movies where killing is an art form.

I'm sure Inglorious Bastards is going to rank right up there if I know Tarantino.

Hump-day chart of the week

It might come in handy, especially if you are a frequent visitor to the Corral in the Shwa, so here is a link to the Cougar chart.

Maybe it was the mountain air

Private Sector seemed a little sluggish as they took the stage in Prince George for a gig Saturday night. Perhaps it was the mountain air as the band twists through the Rockies, or maybe the telling signs of a Canadian tour that at times has seemed much longer than it actually has been due to controversy.

The songs seemed rushed and disjointed at times, as if Sector just wanted to get through the night and head off to Vernon where they will stay for a few days before performing again with two shows Friday and Saturday.

Monday morning laugh

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.

"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?"

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.

"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

Breaking out some August numbers

15 billboards that shouldn't be next to one another.

8 of the funniest videos of reporters taking a beating.

10 of the craziest competitive eating moments.

Up the creek

It's been a while since Private Sector found themselves at mile one of the Alaskan highway eating buffalo burgers and Wednesday night that's exactly where they were before hammering out an impressive two-hour set that featured something for everyone.

Sector plowed through much of their musical catalogue but also sprinkled several covers into the mix which delighted the sold out crowd at the Dawson Arena.

The band now heads south for a gig in Prince George on Saturday.

Misc a link

Today is just a few random links that I found interesting and maybe you will too...or not.

Life broken down into pies, graphs and charts.

Is it any wonder Communism failed in Russia?

The one night stand flow chart.

Women with mustaches...that is all.

What the doctor ordered.

A tight set Sunday afternoon on the side stage of Edmonton's Rib Fest was just what Private Sector needed to get past the debacle of Friday's Stoney Plain performance which had the police intervening to break up fights and shut the show down.

Sector maneuvered skillfully from song to song playing a barrage of fan favourites, however, the act who preceded the band was the touring company of 2 Girls 1 Cup and most of the audience abandoned the side stage in disgust, opting to wait by the main stage for six hours until The Foo Fighters performed, leaving under fifty people to hear Sector.

The band is now off until Wednesday when they arrive in Dawson Creek, B.C.

Your days are numbered

5 Disgusting habits and why you do them.

15 pictures you won't believe aren't photoshopped.

40 unfortunately named restaurants

Monday morning laugh

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in.

"So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog.

"I’ve led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?"

The owner says, "Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!"

Performance cut short by melee

Private Sector had to cut the night short in Stoney Plain Friday, after they invited fans to climb on stage to accompany the band by playing percussion instruments.

Several hundred people simultaneously rushed the stage creating a nightmare for security and several fights broke out.

The show was stopped for forty-five minutes and when order could not be restored the night was scrubbed with four songs remaining in the set.

Luckily no one was seriously injured and police are now investigating the incident as the band moves down the road for an afternoon show Sunday in Edmonton.

Amazing yard sale finds

It's been a shitty summer so far, but the yard sale hunting has been spectacular. Take a look at what I was able to pick up just this morning.

Poop in a can

Cost: $1.50

How could I pass this up?




Big Lebowski Last Supper poster

Cost: $0.75

I tried to get them down to 50 cents but was told "Nobody fucks with the Jesus."




Bathtub full of human brains

Cost: $10.00

The dude who sold me this was a bit creepy, but hell, when am I ever going to have the chance to buy a bathtub full of human brains again?

Big surprise in small venue

Once again Private Sector's equipment ended up in another location due to truck troubles. This time the breakdown occurred in Stoney Plain the locale for Sector's Friday night show.

As a result, the band was forced to take over an Edson club and commandeer the equipment of a surprised cover band. Sector then set out to play two shows to accommodate the crowd in the more intimate setting.

"We're beginning to feel like we're cursed," the band lamented to the Edson Examiner after the show.

If they are, at least their geer will be waiting for them in Stoney Plain.

Thursday laugh

It's almost the end of the week. One more day to go, but you're feeling a bit drained. Well, Ol' Strange is here for you. It's the least I can do.....actually the least I can do is to post nothing at all, but I'll go you one better and post a joke to try and brighten your dull Thursday.


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

"I think my friend is dead!" he yells. "What can I do?"

The operator says, "Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"

Getting used to normal

Private Sector delivered another solid show Tuesday in Lloydminster at the city's annual Blueberry Festival. Once again there were no obsticles to overcome. No lost equipment, no power outages, no opening act debacle, even the rain held off and the out door gig went off without a hitch- something the band attests they could get used to.

Yet, there seemed to be a lack of sizzle Sector had displayed at previous performances in Saskatoon and North Battleford, as the band ran an orderly set, marching through songs from their twenty-five year history.

Drummer Bug Christopher mused after the show, "Perhaps we need the controversy to add the fuel to the furnace?"

If so, here's hoping for a little more adversity as the tour continues in Edson, Alberta on Thursday.

Back from the holiday by the numbers

10 funny typos

The 15 most disturbing movies ever made.

12 hilarious hymns

Why the 6 best 2012 end of the world senarios are B. S.

Sector rocks Saskatoon

With the controversy surrounding yet another Private Sector tour, the group seemed to draw strength from the recent events and delivered the show of a life time.

Even after twenty-five years since the band last graced these parts, Sector proved, that like a fine wine, they've gotten better with age.

From the energetic opening of "With in the Circle" until the end of the fourth encore with "Heart of Darkness", the band plowed through much of their catalogue trotting out some obscure songs like "Death of Me","Quiet Earth", and "Arms Out to Armageddon".

Sector move on the Lloydminster for a show on Tuesday.

Thank you Pottahawk

So we are at an end for another year. Hope you enjoyed the Pottahawk Posts for 2009.
I look forward to cranking up the gossip for Pottahawk 2010 when it arrives.

But, check in periodically and you might still see more from this year. Plus you could win fabulous prizes.

1 of 100 Big foam shockers



1 of 10 fabulous stomach Tattoos



Grand Prize: An all expenses paid wedding of you dreams at Pottahawk 2010



You must be 18 years of age to enter. Contest not open to family and friends of Strangedaze, frequent site visitors, dudes who masturbate to pictures of karaoke singing cats, blog surfers who mistakenly hit this page, in fact anyone who knows what Pottahawk is or has never heard of Pottahawk

Mauler vies for opening act slot

Mexican sensation, midget wrestler, The Masked Mauler has thrown his hat into the ring, (literally), hoping to be the next opening act on Private Sector's "Disputin' Rasputin Tour", after Frederick the Karaoke Cat was pulled off the tour when it was learned he had ties to terrorist organizations.

The Mauler believes he'd bring a Jim Rose Circus Sideshow element to the show and would complement Sector's performance.

The band could not be reached for comment.

Artist: The Masked Mauler

Where he's from: Tijuana, Mexico

Claim to fame: Once pile-drived Brutus the Barber Beefcake.