Canada Day festivities

Well, actually, not today but on Saturday Knuckle Babies make their triumphant return to the stage at "Wankfest" with a host of other local talent in a benefit to assist pale young boys.

For all those interested in attending here is the line-up. Admission is free.

10:30 AM- Squirrel!
11:00 AM- Cigarettes and Acid
12:00 PM- Outhouse Scuba Club
1:00 PM- Puppet Show
1:30 PM- Black Maple Johnson
2:30 PM- 3 Legged Molly and the Hansome Hanks
3:45 PM- Vuvuzela Classical Quartet
5:00 PM- Dinner With Purderfiled
6:00 PM- Kunckle Babies
Time permitting- Rush



Knuckle Babies rub one out for Canada Day weekend.

Local sensation Squirrel! kick off the day's performances.

Sad Kenau needs your help

Send him to Pottahawk

Tragic moments in Pottahawk history #3

With the Roaring 20's well under way, promiscuity and public drunkenness were the focus of the 1926 Pottahawk festivities. So much so that many married women took to protesting the yearly event in hopes of putting an end to the debauchery. However, by 1927 the only thing that had changed was a sudden surge in the divorce rate.

Looking in on Japan, a double shot

The dental robot.

Big breasted Zombie Strippers?

Sad Keanu needs your help

Send him to Pottahawk

The Monday morning know it all

How to insert candy into your rectum.

5 easy steps to frying a Snickers bar.

How to break up with your girlfriend.

Sad Keanu needs your help

Send him to Pottahawk.

Send sad Keanu to Pottahawk

Your dollars are needed to make him happy.

Sexy billboard of the week

Good thing there wasn't a game going on

I went to the G20 and a sports riot broke out. Here are the top 10 ugliest sports riots.

The 30 funniest police blotters of all time.

So you think you can dance?

Well, not until you've learned to Hip-hop line dance.

Inspirations for a Friday

Numbers of the week

21 famous photos...minus the pants.

7 great movie endings demolished by test audiences.

Top 10 Samuel L. Jackson speeches.

Sad Keanu needs your help

Cheer him up. Send him to Pottahawk. Donations welcome.

What's really down there #9 ending

The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree

If you are an Apple user then you know the pain of owning the newest gadget.

If you don't then check this out and it will all be made clear....crystal clear.

Cat not a cat person

Tragic moments in Pottahawk history #2

It was the turn of the century and Pottahawk was beginning to catch on as one swinging place to party. In an effort to make the festival exclusive, little people were bannished from joining the jocularity. It was widely perceived as; being for their own safety in the, sometimes, waist-deep waters of Pottahawk.

The implementation of this prohibition led to a small riot, (no pun intended), in nearby Turkey Point where many a flower bed was crushed, fire hydrants were defaced and one child's wadding pool was deflated. The law was over turned in time for the very next Pottahawk and eight little people disappeared into the murky waters that year.

What's really down there #8

Sunday's can be dadly

The 10 most damaging Dad moments.

Hot chicks with sand dicks.

How much can you take? Play the Vuvuzela game.

Happy Father's Day!

Sexy billboard of the week

If anything says Happy Father's Day, this is it.

The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela

1 more for the Dadder

The X-ray pinup calendar.

What's really down there #7

Autovuvuzela

All the noise of the vuvuzelas at the World Cup have finally driven me mad...autotuned style.

Inspirations for a Friday

What's really down there #6

Toddler Mop and Go

25 and the numbers

The 25 greatest owned movie moments.

The 25 funniest Glam-Metal band photos.

The 25 funniest fole sale signs.

What's really down there #5

Tragic moments in Pottahawk history #1

With Pottahawk just over a month away, it's time to take a look at the history of the blessed drunkfest.

Last year we explored the wondrous history and how it came to be. This year we will focus on the tragic events that marred the celebration, tainting the already piss-tainted waters of the shoreline.

This is all in an effort to remind you, Pottahawk 2010 should be fun, but you should also be safe.



Not many know, but back in 1911 the first MMA event was held at Pottahawk. If you are wondering why the Tapout nation is not welcome in Ontario to this day and why legislation exists to make it so, look no further then that fateful afternoon at Pottahawk when Jiminy "Iron lung" McGeatchie took on Shorty "Roundhouse" Johnson for the MMA title.

Both men fought with passion, dedication and heart, entertaining the masses as the blood flowed and the two slowly drowned.

It was at that time that it was decided, the Octagon should not be submerged in water.

Oil, oil everywhere

Personally , I'm getting tired of the whole BP/ Gulf/ oil crisis and their ineptitude in solving the problem.

To me, it's all quite simple and I'm going to tell you how to end this debacle right now!



And if that doesn't work, then it's time to call this man.



He's just the right size to plug that leak.

Sexy billboard of the week

What's really down there #4

My World Cup runnith over

I'm not really interested in the World Cup, unless it's two girls- one world cup, then we'll talk.

Yet, I understand that others might be more passionate about watching the motherland compete on the world stage to be the best. So on the small chance those this post is for, are not glued to a TV somewhere watching a match, here are:

The 50 most bad-ass moments in World Cup history.

World Cup soccer fans that also happen to be hot chicks.

What? That wasn't enough?

Here are 100 more then.

Carpet munchers tutorial

The Friday numbers are in

The 15 smelliest substances on earth.

30 people who really shouldn`t own guns.

15 creepy dating site pictures. I guess you can also add these peole to the people who shouldn`t own guns.

What`s really down there -numeral tois

Linky, linky, watch the stinky

Yeah you may want to skip this one. The scat board. Everything you wanted, or didn`t want to know about your own excrement.

Fuck Yeah! There`s a fuckyeah site for everything. Try it out if you don`t believe me.

How many Justin Bieber`s could you take on in a fight. Answer a few questions and find out what you`ve been dying to know.

Google this!

What you always wanted to know about Google searches, but were too busy searching for porn to know.

What's really down there? #2

Sexy billboard of the week

What's really down there? #1

The Guatemalan sink hole has caused quite a stir and if you haven't seen it, the pictures are quite spectacular. But the question is: What's really down there. Over the next week or so, I hope to answer this question.

I have often wondered....

What if the Coen Brothers had a child with Quentin Tarantino and that baby grew up and made movies, what would the trailer look like?




Well, now I know. Thank you.

Rock by numbers

The top 10 legendary rock clubs.

10 crazy backstage demands.

15 rockstars that went off the deep end and never got to the Greek.

Iron Baby

So we're well into the Summer movie season. It's only fitting we visit some more Blockbusters we didn't see.

For your amusement

Action stars in makeup.

A site dedicated to a great selection of famous movie clips.

Ever play 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon? Well here is six degrees of Black Sabbath.

Close Enough Guy #9

30 minute workout it's not

Sunday numbers yo

The top 10 Dennis Hopper movie roles. Cause he died yo.

The top 20 sports movies it's alright to cry at. Yup Dennis Hopper's in there.

10 instances of bears being awesome. Not stealing any picnic baskets, but hey...Denis Hopper's in there....or did I dream it?

Evel Knievel eat your heart out

Fun in numbers

The 100 funniest jokes ever.

13 price tags in bad places.

19 failed attempts at sexy album covers.

Know your penis

Close Enough Guy #8

That's just creepy

Celebrities as midgets.

People with uni brows.

Bizarre performance art.

Numbers for a holiday Monday

20 scary street performers.

25 pictures of meat creations. It's not what you think.

15 morally questionable children's toys.

Close Enough Guy #7

Lost without lost

So Lost ends tonight and if you're like me, never having watched the show then the following is all you need to get caught up.

Lost recap as presented by cats...in one minute.

That's interesting

The Nirvana Baby's interview at 19 years old.

Male rites of passage from around the world.

Liquid Mountaineering?

More Japanese awesomeness

Close Enough Guy #6

Crazy on the links

Just some links to pass the time.

The random YouTube video generator. You never know what you're going to get.

Meow Mania! It's exactly what it sounds like.

Still need to pass more time? Here are the first two chapters of Chuck Palahniuk's new book.

Lost in the numbers

Well here it is people, the last 10 seconds of Lost to wrap everything up....or at least how the series should end. There's 11 endings to choose from. Enjoy.

10 actors who were originally considered for famous movie roles.

15 great scenes that were unscripted.

Close Enough Guy #5

Lame green army guys #5

The WTF? I'm not even sure what the hell this guy is doing. Catching a fish? Setting up some bowling pins? Changing the batteries on a sex toy? I'm guessing someone will tell us he's loading some kind of Korean War-era artillery device, like the one that took out Sgt. Hulka in "Stripes." But with no artillery in my black box, he just looks like he's trying to get a Section 8. Worst army man ever.

Close Enough Guy #4

5 seconds

It's a ten

10 pet products that are a sign of mental illness.

10 inappropriate soundtracks.

10 of the best Hitler downfall parodies.

Lame green army guys #4

The dead guys. I've always wondered if these dead military personnel were included as some kind of anti-war message to kids. Maybe the liberal foreman in the army man manufacturing facility insisted on throwing one dead army man in each package to show that indeed, war was stupid. If an army man plant ever moved to Toronto, I'm guessing that all you would get is a bag of dead army men. And the Board of Supervisors would introduce a resolution requiring any toy manufacturers doing business in the city to include an equal number of picket-wielding anti-war protesters in the package.

Close Enough Guy #3

Close Enough Guy #2

Show us your movies

The 2010 Summer movie preview.

Think you can do better? Go write your own plot at Plotomatic.

Dumb movie ideas that Hollywood bought in to.

Lame green army guys #3

The radio operator. Considering that I had multiple army men wielding flame throwers and machine guns, you'll have to excuse me for not getting excited about the guy making a phone call, on what appeared to be a toddler's Fisher Price Little Chatter Telephone. I didn't see "Platoon" until a full decade later, so I had no idea that the radio army man might be doing something cool like calling in a napalm strike. I always figured he was ordering a pizza.

Amazing yardsale finds 2010 #2

Hairy Baby Doll

Cost: $2.50

Friends of ours just had a baby. Not knowing if it was going to be a boy or a girl, I figured I'd be safe with this purchase. Am I the best, or what!





WTF Goalie Mask Scary Ass Oxygenator Thing

Cost: Take it please!

If it doesn't work then perhaps it would make a good Halloween costume?





Toilet Putting Green

Cost: $6.50

Hey as long as I can get a hole in one, I won't be so worried about missing the bowl.

Close Enough Guy #1

Happy Mudders Day

Here are some motherly links for you.

25 of the hottest MILFs.

That is all.

Geesh! Maybe I should have got the flowers?

Ridiculous numbers

The 60 best mugshot tattoos.

The 8 most ridiculous potato guns.


12 of the most absurd break-up letters of all time.

Now that's just creepy

We haven't looked in to see what our Japanese friends have been upto lately.



Now, I'm sorry we did.

Lame green army guys #2

Marching infantry. Seriously, these guys are just asking to be shot. A large number of my remaining white German soldiers are marching in formation, presumably so the Indiana Jones villain in the hat on the right can point at the ground and order them into an ambush. (I know it's just a 2 1/2 inch tall piece of plastic, but can't you see Ralph Fiennes -- or maybe Guy Pierce -- playing him in the movie?) As a kid, I never had any question why the Germans lost World War II. Apparently, they never bothered to pull their guns off their backs.

Any interest in seeing what movies are coming out?

Well here are all the "so-called" blockbusters for the 2010 Summer season.....in one trailer.

Lame green army guys #1

As a kid I used to play with those small green plastic army dudes. It wasn't until I stumbled across a site on the net that I realized just how lame and obsolete some of those figures actually were. So over the next few weeks I will be presenting to you the lamest of the lame.

The mine sweeper. Even as a kid, this army man reminded me of the old guys who used a metal detector to find spare change on the beach at Wassaga. I realize that bomb detection units are more important than ever in the military -- war is a drug -- but I never had any use for this soldier. All my other army men were locked in mortal combat, and this ahole is looking for his car keys. I only have one mine sweeper left. I think most of them ended up getting a toaster oven court martial.

Can't laugh for cryin'

But I'll try.....




The 10 funniest Dane Cook stand-up moments.

11 hilarious Louis C. K. routines.

26 from the bathroom note hilarity division.

Amazing yard sale finds 2010

The unofficial yard sale season began in earnest last weekend and as an early bird/worm guy I was able to find some excellent deals. Just check these babies out.

Dog Fence Bubble: Allows your dog to see what's going on beyond your yard.

Cost: $4:25

Doesn't matter to me that; 1) I don't have a dog and 2) I need a new fence before I can install it.
I just thought it was cool, so I bought it.



Titanium Skip-Jumpers: Allows you to run faster, leap higher, or in other words become a Super Hero.

Cost: $27.00

Normally these babies go for $200.00 and up, but one of the jump sticks was missing so I got a sweet deal. I can't wait to try these things out and break my face.



Mobile Sleeping Bag: Now, never leave the comfort of your sleeping bag when you're camping.

Cost: $7.00 virtually brand-spanking new.

This was an impulse buy only because I had already purchased the Skip Jumpers and I had visions of using the two together.

It's a 10!

The 10 most ass-kicking brawls in sports history.

10 stoned celebs on Sesame Street.

The 10 most horrible amusement park accidents.