Useful, or useless links?

Funny tip jar photos.

Introducing the dildo maker.

The funniest anti-protest signs ever.

The return of amazing parents #1

Tuesday by the numbers

The 7 most bizarre objects to fall from the sky, or skyfall if you will.

The 6 least solomn funnerals from around the world.

yeah...I know...today I'm lazy so only two.

Cleaning up after the Oscars

Best openings ever for the Oscars.

Best Oscar handjob award.

Photoshop your Oscar party.

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #9

Les Miserables

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #8

Zero Dark Thirty

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #7

Django Unchained

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #6

 

Amour

Oscar Reviews part 3

 

Django Unchained: Even if I had no idea Tarentino directed this film, I would quickly surmise his handy work has behind it. It's shot in true Tarentino fashion, violent kills, quick witted dialogue, questionable language, interesting film techniques and angles to keep it fresh and original. Also there is the trademark Tarentino cameo as well, but lose the Australian accent Quentin.

 

In a perfect world this movie, or Silver Linings Playbook win best film, but it's not a perfect world is it? Maybe Quentin adds to his original screen play Pulp Fiction win, but we'll have to wait and see.

 

Lincoln: Spoiler alert! Lincoln dies! No hunting vampires this time around so I found it a little boring...no wait a minute...I found it a lot boring. In fact it put me to sleep almost as fast as watching The Master with Philip Seymour Hoffman did. OK, sure Daniel Day Lewis will get an Oscar for best actor and sure it might snag a few others in the process, but where is the fun Steven Spielberg? This movie needs Gremlins and Extraterrestrials and yes...vampires- but not the shirtless kind, just to keep me from punching z's.

 

It's lost a lot of steam so I don't see it winning best pic.

 

Argo: Spoiler alert! Six Americans make it out of Iran! I really enjoyed this movie, but I have to ask a serious question; Do the Americans have to shit on everything Canada does? I'm always skeptical when I see phrases like "based on a true story," because you know creative licence comes into play and for the sake of entertainment liberties are taken and stretched. Sure, there must have been a lot of behind the scenes jostling going on at the time, but I'm old enough to remember this story and it seems to me there were a number of inconsistencies.

All in all, a good movie that will win best picture this year.

Oscar Reviews part deux

 

Life of Pi: Again I didn't see it, but I saw the trailer. The effects look great so it will probably get some tech awards. It also looks like it has that dude from Big Bang Theory in it. I wonder if he sings as well as Russell Crowe? Just a thought.

 

Won't win best picture, but maybe Ang Lee snags the Best Director Oscar out from under that prude Steven Spielberg...or better yet...let's see...The Academy Awards are in a theatre...Spielberg directed Lincoln...I got it! Ang Lee assassinates Spielberg!

 

 

 

Silver Linings Playbook: I actually saw this one and liked it even though it's a chick flick disguised as something guys would watch because there's lots of talk about football in it. Jennifer Lawrence should pull out a win for best Actress, but Bradley Cooper can't beat DDL for best actor so don't even bother buddy.

 

As far as best picture is concerned, I don't believe they have a play to call for that.

 

Zero Dark Thirty: Spoiler alert! Osama Bin Laden dies! It's an OK movie, it's just that I'm so tired of 911/ terrorist/ OBL documentaries that I found I wanted this movie to end toward the middle. I also found the ending a little anti-climactic when it should have been the most intriguing. I didn't find it was as good as Bigalow's last movie...and may I ad Oscar winner "The Hurt Locker".

We feel sorry for your time married to James Cameron, Kathryn, but come on...you've already won in more ways that we can count.

 

 

Oscar linkage

Before they were famous.

Conan's Oscar movie reviews.

The Nicolas Cage Awards.

Oscar Reviews part 1

So I've tried to cram all the best picture Oscar nominated films into one week of watching...and well...I didn't quite make it. So I will do my best to tell you what I think.

 

Amour: This is a film, so I am told, that is about a couple of married, retired, music teachers. One gets ill but doesn't want to hang in a hospital...something about clean sheets and all...so the other...the dude I think...has to take care of his wife at home. It's frustrating, sad and depressing since their kids aren't much help and since you have to read subtitles the whole movie because it's all in French.

 

Yup, this won't win, but it will win best foreign film since that's where it belongs in the first place.

 

 

 

Beasts of the Southern Wild: I'm guessin' some sort of African-Slumdog Millionaire-Atonement-Steel Magnolias-Chariots of Fire-English Patient-Shakespeare in Love-Notebook- Dances With Wolves-Texas Chainsaw Massacre kind of tear-jerker chick-flick with quaint black people?...Yes...that's right...that covers it.


Again, not going to win, but good for you, little film that could!

 

Les Miserables: Again didn't see it mainly because there are no muff shots of Anne Hathaway, but I did see the live performance which was exceptional! I hear the movie is kind of drawn out and boring, but not the stage play which was exceptional! I also heard Russel Crowe can't sing which I found stange because I thought he had a wonderful vocal range- like an angel in, "A Beautiful MInd"...or did I dream it? Did I mention the live performance of Les Miserables was exceptional!?

 

But anyhoo...another looser here. When was the last time a musical won best pic anyway?

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #5

Agro

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #4

Beasts of the Southern Wild.

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #3

 

Life of Pi

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #2

Silver Linings Playbook

Child reenactments of nominated Oscar films #1

 

 

Lincoln

Warming up to the Oscars

 

The official Oly Moss 85th anninversary Oscar poster.

Oscar Buzz- Between Two Ferns with Zack Galifianakis (part 1)

Oscar Buzz- Between Two Ferns with Zack Galifianakis (part 2)

Mattress Mick

 

 

The sky is falling

Skyfall: Honest trailer.

Love sucks...for 5 seconds

Valentine's Day honest trailer

Valentine prep links

The greatest internet Valentine cards of all time.

Valentines day cards for bitter married couples.

Other uses for the penis cake pan.

Valentine prep links

Game of Thrones Valentines.

A brief history of women wooing men with music.

Star Wars Valentines Day cards.

Valentine prep by the numbers

 

15 unbelievably racist antique Valentine cards.

6 ways your brain is sabotaging you sex life.

The 8 most expensive virginities.

Feeling Dead today

The Walking Dead return tonight. Here are some links to get you pumped.

Before and after pictures of walkers.

Prepare your own zombie themed treats.

Dead yourself.

Never fear

If you missed the Super Bowl last week, you can always watch again in Taiwanese animation.

Weekend linkage

 

Unflattering celebrity photos. Go on, you know you want to look!

Tiny dads.

Man tries to make horse baby abd obviously fails. Good reading.

And now for something completely different

A naked dude hugging a porcupine.

A numbered Thursday

The 25 funniest Netflix suggestions ever.

21 pictures that can't be unseen.

1 pizza, 1 minute 1 Super Bowl party.

Excuses why you're fat #2

Get your mind out of the gutter

 

Dirty mind test.

Amazing roles almost played by Nick Cage.

Absurdly inappropriate cake inscriptions.

Aftermath

So once again Ol' Strange's prediction crashed in a fireball of ruin. In fact, since I have forecast Baltimore's infinite demise in every round since the playoffs began they are responsible for 4 of my erroneous guesstimates.

Well...on to better stuff. If you didn't see any of the Super Bowl commercials yesterday because, like me, you live in a country that sells advertising to local boring companies then here is a link to all the gold: 2013 Super Bowl commercials including the banned sodastream ad. Bonus: Will Ferrell's low- budget Old Milwaukee commercial that only ran in a few small markets.

Enjoy.

Super Bowl Sunday

The super "bowl" haircut.

The beer flavor wheel. You'll most definitely need that today.

Prediction:

With a playoff prediction record of 4 out of 10 I don't expect anyone to be waiting with baited breath for my guesstimate today. However, there are important factors to consider: 4 out of 10 would net me multi millions in baseball. 4 out of 10 would also be fairly impressive even with a wingman at your local pub/dance club/what-have-you.

With that said you can bank on an absolute today, a Harbaugh is going to win the Super Bowl...but I suppose you want specifics? SO, I predict Beyonce' will suck the life from an otherwise entertaining game even with a Destiny's Child reunion, Ray Lewis will retire...at last and a coin flip will take place where one team will elect to receive.

More specific?

Geesh!

San Fran 27 over Baltimore 24

Standing alone on the numbers.

Gary Busey shows the love...literally