Sunday, January 31, 2010

Friday, January 29, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I crush your head #3

Your eggs in one basket #2

Anal linkage

For you personal stash, or when you feel like squeezing out a few knuckle babies, I give you the pussy pipe.

I draw dicks. I don't think I can be any more precise then that.

The true companion sex robot. You know, in case you don't smoke and your a lonely little bugger with no prospects on the horizon.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

Award season by the numbers

With the Golden Globes already done and the Oscars around the corner and, I mean...who really watches the other award shows?

I thought I'd post some movie related numbers today.

The 10 best drunk award show moments.

The 10 movies to look forward to this year.

The 50 movies that will send you to hell, besides Drag Me To Hell that is.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I crush your head #2

Olympic sports currently under review

Like Bowlfing, (the mixture of bowling and golfing), or Basejavelin, (the combination of javelin and baseball), or cross-country wrestling (self-explanatory), the Olympic committee is constantly on the lookout to add new and exiting events to the Olympics like:

Chess-boxing.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Manly Monday

Today we explore why Germany is manly.

Fucked in two World Wars. Fucked in the Cold War. Have to cope with the French as a neighbor – and still the third largest economy in the world. Germany is Fucking Manly.

Germany is known for some of the manliest shit ever:
1. Oktoberfest: getting fucked out of your mind every day, and then fucking bitches every night. For an entire month. Makes Asher Roth’s little routine look like a bunch of ten year olds getting high on lemonade.
2. Germany is specifically known for having a country full of machines. It is common knowledge that the men in Germany cannot feel any emotion, and that anyone caught laughing is terminated.
3. Back in the day, when Germany was known as Prussia; it was said that ‘Prussia is not a country with an army, but an army with a country.’ Shit.

Ok, time for a history lesson for you stupid inbreds out there. In 1914, Germany started World War 1, one of the most devastating and horrendous wars that history had ever seen. They started raping everyone’s bitch asses, until it became a handicap-tornado-tag match. The combined might of Britain, France, USA and Russia firmly assfucked Germany. Without lube. Germany eventually gave in on November 11 1918. With 1,718,000 casualties. As if they hadn’t been fucked enough, they also got bitchslapped with the Treaty of Versailles – this meant that they had to hand over all of the finest German hoes, some land, 132,000,000,000 Reichsmarks in reparations and get rid of their army. Well Germany played along at first, and got doggy-styled by the Great Depression of 1928. Eventually, Adolf Hitler came to power in ’33, and he was just like, fuck that shit.

(on a side-note, I must confess that being controlled by Hitler was not very fuckin’ manly. In fact, the Germans shoulda raped his silly ass.)

In the end, they started ANOTHER FUCKIN’ WORLD WAR, and started raping Europe with their Giant German Dicks in 1939. Even though they had their army removed, they had built it up in secret. Using some Blitzkrieg tactics, the Germans lawnmowed through France, and the French being pussies- shat themselves. The takeover of Poland and France took just six weeks. I repeat: it took just 42 days for the Germans to have dominated most of Europe. The French had been bummed so hard, they were just like ‘Sacre Bleue, Monseiur Germany can I suck your dick?’ And the Germans were just like fuck yeah.

Germany was allied with Italy, who was a basically a heavy-flow tampon. Not only did the Germans have to defend ‘Fortress Europe’, they also had to trek around the world to help the Italians with some shitty skirmishes. It all went downhill, when the Germans did the cardinal mistake of trying to take over the Russians. Have they not heard of the Russian fucking Winter? Not only this, but the US had decided to gatecrash this party, and was just like sup bitches. Even though the Germans got their asses handed to them at Stalingrad, and were getting penetrated from both sides, they still managed to hold out another year.

After the war ended, Germany got treated like a gimp and split into two – East and West Germany – and the Berlin Wall was created. Although East Germany got absolutely jizzed on by the Communists, and their economy plundered; they were eventually reunited with the rest of Germany in August 23, 1989. Even after having being used as a tool for so long, they managed to get their act together. In just 15 years, they became the third largest economy in the world, the biggest pimp in the EU and a huge force in world politics. Now that is fucking manly.

Note: We do not condone the actions of Adolf Hitler.

This post lovingly ripped-off from fuckingmanly.com

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I crush your head #1

It's just another day

But maybe I should start acting my age?



Naw!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Friday challenger




Is it a porn star or is it a potato? Much tougher than you might think.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

On the links

As another week approaches its end and you find yourself running out of gas and down right irritable.



Perhaps these links might help you recharge?

Fuck this weather. The random weather generator.

You've played Guitar Hero, Garage Band, Beatles, Van Halen and on it goes....but have you played Pole Dance Hero? You have now my friend....you have now.

And then there's one for the worry-warts and the doom-sayers. That's right! It's you Zombie bite calculator.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tuesday morning by the numbers

The top 10 most amazing vaginas. I'm glad I have your attention already.

6 assassination attempts that almost changed the world.

The 50 sexist things we saw this year. Wait! Isn't it only January 12th? Oh, what the hell.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I'd watch that.

With the winter Olympics just around the corner- Oh and thanks to RBC who turned me down as a torch carrier- your bank sucks!- I thought it might be cool to see what Olympic sports are currently under consideration to be added in the future.

The art of drunk stacking.



Not sure if it's going to be a team sport, or individual competition?

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Pictures for stupid parents





That's a bad dragon


OK, you're looking for something different to get you off. Perhaps even something rather unusual to satisfy the fact you are lord of your own ring.

Look no further to scratch that itch. It's all right here at Bad Dragon Toys.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Here are the Monday numbers

210 shameful drunk shamings.

100 unintentionally offensive versions of famous logos.

25 people who look like cartoon characters.

Winter blows



Damn! It's cold outside.

And to make matters worse, it looks like our furnace is shitting the bed.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

The Sunday free-4-all

Here are a few links you might find interesting....

Sketch it, send it, get it. You draw a picture using your mouse- which will probably be a sketch of a penis-and then you send it out to someone who, in turn sends you their sketch- which is probably a penis. Fun huh? Modern technology- isn't it wonderful?

Looking to find that perfect match? Looking to find that perfect Gay-Thug match. Search no longer my friend. Go make your connection.

So you've been standing around in long lines over the holiday season, waiting to get on your flight to anywhere but here. The damn security has cameras up you ass and you wonder, "is this all necessary?" Well, here are the true odds of being blown to bits by a terrorist attack during you in flight trip.

Nothing's shocking you say? Want to put that ideal to the test. Here is a sight that has links to everything that is a bottomless pit to depravity in the under-belly of the net.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Christopher Johnson, yeah?

District 9



Let's take a good look at District 9: Story- interesting; Acting- above average; Entertainment value- very high; Special effects- off the chart especially when you consider this movie was shot documentary style.

Leave it to Peter Jackson to be involved with yet another ground breaking film. Really I can't understand why Avatar seems to be getting all the CGI press when you consider the overall look of District 9. Sure Avatar provides sensational eye-candy, but when you compare that to believability District 9 is the true champion in my opinion.

Will it win best movie? No, but in all effects categories the fuckin' Prawns have my vote.

A new year by the numbers

The 11 most bizarre DUI stories ever told.

6 things the world is doing to accommodate your fat ass.

The 6 most bad-ass skills you can learn in a week.

What should you expect from Strangedaze in 2010

Probably more stuff like this:

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy newness

Yes it's just that simple.

All the best.