Friday, August 31, 2007

New release this week

It is a sad day for Jose. He has been crying on the couch. I Pedra, must speak now for Jose. His favorite performer of all time has just died. Poor Jose. Please help Jose by getting and listening to: Cha Cha Billy May.

Now that Cha Cha is gone, Jose's 'Cheeee!' will not be the same.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mid week siesta

Cheee! Soy feliz de expresar mis pensamientos en noticias de mundo.

Hello again. I Jose wife, and I translate Jose. He say "He happy to be able to share his....how you say?.....'thinks' with the people on world news".

Greece fire

Fire officials in Greece say progress is being made in fighting deadly wildfires sweeping the country but many fires are not yet contained.

The fires have claimed at least 63 lives and burned numerous villages and thousands of hectares of forest.

Estas personas son estúpidas. Haga ellos no saben que usted es supuesto poner bicarbonato de soda en un fuego de grasa?

Jose say, " Don't people know baking soda is best to use on grease fire?"

The answer is Owen in the wind

The incident on Sunday afternoon that landed actor Owen Wilson in the hospital was called in to police as a suicide attempt, according to Santa Monica Police Department phone logs.

According to the records, a call was received at 12:08 p.m. on Sunday for an incident listed as "attempt suicide." Wilson remains in stable condition at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills, California.

Este hombre es un cobarde. Cuán puedele más explica alguien que mira tan bueno que mi esposa lame su cartel como lo está hecho de frijoles refritos. El finalmente Le debe haber mirado Mí y Dupree. Eso es lo que lo manejó sobre la orilla.

Jose say,"Owen is a coward"- He is not!
Jose also say, "He good looking and I lick his poster at night like it's made of refried beans"- I do not!
Jose also say, "Owen must have finally watched 'You Me and Dupree' That's what drove him to try to kill himself.- Jose is sleeping on the couch tonight!

From Dog to God

Michael Vick

NFL star quarterback Michael Vick pleaded guilty yesterday to a dogfighting charge, then took his first steps toward what he hopes will be redemption. Saying "I need to grow up," the quarterback apologized to the league and to the "young kids that I've let down who look at Michael Vick as a role model." He also said he has found God.

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!.

Jose say, "Michael Vick is a good and honorable man. Dog fighting an honorable sport. He bet all the time with his aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews and children back in Mexico" He say, " Vick should be hailed as a hero not a criminal".....but Jose wrong!

Qué es usted le haciendo mujerzuela grande???

I say he should be locked up for long time- And don't call me a slut Jose. You are already sleeping on the couch remember?- If Vick has truely found God, let us pray that he doesn't drown, shoot or electrocute our heavenly father too.....

Eso es suficiente usted vaca gorda!!!!

Usted duerme mejor con el pene en una mano y el sissors en el otro.....usted pedo parcialmente calvo viejo!

Translate easily here.

Cross posted on Mitchievillisimo

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

YouTube Tuesday

Hi, my name is Pedra. I am Jose wife. Some you say you not understand Jose. I translate.

Los conejos son chistosos. Los pollos son chistosos, pero los pollos y los conejos juntos son muy chistosos. Especialmente cuando los pollos son policías. Ahora tengo hambre. Cheeee!

Jose he say, "Rabbits funny and chickens are funny too. He like when both together. Very funny especial when chickens are police. They make him hungry."

Sunday, August 26, 2007

El domingo por los números

Adoro los números. Sin números no habría los números. Así que los números son importantes. Aquí están algunos números buenos para usted. Cheeeeee!!!!

34 uses for a can of soda

10 cool films that never got made.

10 best f*@#ing short versions of movies.

10 great drunk pranks.

In memorandum: 10 of the best Tourettes Guy moments

Friday, August 24, 2007

New release this week

Given the events of yesterday, I'm not sure I should be posting today. I can't run forever, but I can take precautions like change my name.....That's it!.....Goodbye Chris Strange. Say hello to....Jose Marrone! Cheeeee!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I'm a dead man....

You've probably wondered where Ol' Strange has disappeared to over the last day or so?....OK, maybe not. I'll tell you anyway. I've been in hiding. Click this and it will all be self explanatory.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Michael Angelo Batio Double-Guitar Solo

Today is my Son's birthday and if I were allow him to post any video on my blog, I'm sure it would be this one. Personally I would rather see a double dong solo, but what the hell, it's his birthday. Happy 18th T.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Chocolate Rain revisited

I don't usually post specifically for one person....unless that person is me....then I guess you can say I do it all the time.

However, today's post is for Reg who seems quite creeped out by the song Chocolate Rain, which I'll admit is probably the worst tune ever written. It rates with other obnoxious musical fodder such as Lovin' You by Minnie Ripperton and the Macarena.

Yet, I feel Reg should take another look at it from a different perspective to appreciate its audacity fully. I feel this is so important, I've totally disregarded my weekly post of news and reviews. Forget the Elvis anniversary. Forget the plethora of unique and diverse incredible stories of idiocy you will now never know. Reg must come first.

This for you my brother.



Cross posted on Mitchieville

Friday, August 17, 2007

New release this week

In keeping with the theme this week, I recommend: Boned- Up at the Crack.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Detachable Penis? Sign me up!

An oldie but a....you know the rest. This little diddy by King Missile fits right in on Penis Week.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Iron penis? Sign me up!

Hot chicks with tongue tricks

That's what it said. So if some of them look like guys in drag don't blame me. I'm just the messenger.

Put them together and it all leads to....

This

Who the hell is that?: Answer

The answer to last week's "Who the hell is that?", is E: None of the above.....say who the hell is that anyway?


You may notice with the tasteless cartoon of the week and our anonymous friend pictured here, there seems to be a theme forming for this week? Yes that's right. This week is all about the penis. Your penis, my penis, everyone's penis.....OK not women.....well most women.....and over sized clits don't count.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Tasteless cartoon of the week

This one's for you Uncle John.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

It's all death and destruction

DEATH:

Studies now concur, women who have had breast augmentation.....here's my chance to insert a picture of a overly large breasted woman

......are three times more likely to commit suicide or to die from drug or alcohol dependence.

Really, I can empathise with these women. Why, after I had my penis extension I thought about ending it several times. Personally, I think their mortality rate is tied in to the fact they get given more free drugs and alcohol than their budgie-sized-breast counterparts. But that's just me and my giant penis talking.

Squeeze that OJ

O.J. Simpson must pay the family of the late Ronald Goldman any money he earns from a video game featuring his likeness , to satisfy a $38 million wrongful death judgment, a judge ruled Tuesday.

The game, All-Pro Football 2K8, features Simpson's likeness and a team called the Assassins playing as one of 240 former football greats.

I had this idea back in the early 90's. No! Not about an O.J. football video game, but to have a game where you could play teams and stars from past eras against one another. However, do you think I could get anyone at EA Sports to listen to me and my giant penis? NO!

As far as I'm concerned O.J. owes me money.


Back to school...don't forget your Kevlar

It’s back-to-school time so load up with those pencils, notebooks, rulers and, of course, a bullet-deflecting backpack, if you buy the pitch of the security accessory’s Danvers inventors.

Dads Mike Pelonzi, 43, and Joe Curran, 42, dreamed up the bullet-proof backpack, which also blunts knife attacks, to protect their own children after witnessing the Columbine massacre in 1999.

The backpacks, which will cost $175, have a super-lightweight bullet-proof plate sewn into the back which weighs no more than a bottle of water. Pelonzi said the material used is a secret.

“We have tested and tested this product and we are very excited about it. We researched every school shooting since 1900 and found that our product is resistant to 97 percent of all bullets used,” added the father of two.

OK, so how long before some kid decides to see who has this product and who doesn't and goes to school with a gun to find out?

" Would ya look at that? None of the 1st graders had the backpack. Let's try the second grade."

Might as well sew on the bullseyes now.


Send us your tired, your hungry, your huddled gang members

A rumour that's been circulating in Brampton for the past 18 months has created a stir.

The rumour said people from the Jane and Finch area of Toronto are being paid between $5,000 and $10,000 to relocate to northwest Brampton. It has spawned complaints in the form of emails and telephone calls to city hall and police from people who think gang members are moving into their neighbourhoods.

Mayor Susan Fennell, a trusted politician, has assure the public the rumour is not true.

A trusted politician huh? Note to self: When house hunting- cross Brampton off the list.

Get the lead out: Part I

Lead poisoning can cause vomiting, anemia and learning difficulties. In extreme cases, it can cause severe neurological damage and death. Just ask the Chinese. They've been exporting it to you in your children's toys.

China said yesterday that it has banned lead-tainted exports by two toy manufacturers whose products were subject to major recalls in the United States, Beijing's latest effort to repair its reputation as a safe supplier.

Now if they'd just do something about the lead tainted sex toys.

I see dead people

Over at Myspace where there is a morbid fascination to view the pages of recently deceased members.

Is it any wonder I can't get anyone to view the Sector page?

Dead portrait's society

A Canadian artist has come up with a new way to memorialise cremated loved ones: a portrait, drawn with a pencil created from their ashes.

Lucas Seaward, an Edmonton, Alberta, portrait artist, says he has developed a process for incorporating about a tablespoon of ashes into a type of pencil that can be used for drawing a memorial portrait in shades of grey.

OK, that just creeps me the fuck out!......Uncle John? Is that you?


DESTRUCTION:

A Polish woman came back from holiday to find the local council had built a traffic island and a new road in her back garden.

But when Alicja Ziemowit, 48, complained she was told a change in the law meant local council officials could use private land for road building without consent and without paying compensation.

A spokesman for the local council in Lodz said: "I don't know why she is complaining, it is not a busy road, and she can still get to the back of her garden quite easily."

He added: "She still owns the land, it just has a road on it now."

If it were me, I'd be setting up a toll booth on that baby and paying gang members to move to Poland. In your face local council officials.


We've been expecting you Mr. Bonds

756? Big deal. From a juiced-up, obnoxious clown. Go compete in the Tour De France Barry, you'd be more at home.

Speaking of records being broken

Nationwide, sales of canned beer are up 10 per cent over last year, and a whopping 27 per cent in Ontario alone, according to a recent report from The Brewers Association of Canada. Not to mention sales of wine and tequila have also spiked.

I think I better have a little talk with GIGC?

Speaking of records being hidden

Adolf Hitler, the most notorious champion of Richard Wagner and “racially pure” German music, banished Jewish and Russian musicians from the concert halls of the Third Reich — but apparently listened secretly to their work.

Want to know what Adolf would take with him to a desert island?

Tchaikovsky, Borodin and Rachmaninov. Also, the Austrian Jewish pianist Artur Schnabel, whose mother was killed by the Nazis, had his work included in Hitler’s personal collection.

Get the lead out: Part II

A 59-year-old German woman has had most of a pencil removed from inside her head after suffering nearly her whole life with the headaches and nosebleeds it caused, Bild newspaper reported on Monday.

Margret Wegner fell over carrying the pencil in her hand when she was four.

“The pencil went right through my skin — and disappeared into my head,” Wegner told the newspaper.

At the time no one dared operate, but now technology has improved sufficiently for doctors to be able to remove it.

Now she can have it used with a dead ones ashes.

Sector electrifies crowd with acoustic set but causes near riot



Private Sector performed a surprise acoustic set at Sibbald Point last weekend sending a near capacity crowd into a frenzy.

The band opened with a rendition of Midnight Oil's, Bullroarer and Pink Floyd's, Comfortably Numb, before ripping into the meat of the Sector catalogue which included The Cure, The Torture Never Stops, Heart of Darkness, The Mask, Sleepless, Holdin’ Out, Where Were You, Standing on the Edge, The Gardener, Colder the Compromise, and Handmade Heart.

Also performed were a scattering of cover songs like Superman’s Dead, Hurt, Brown Eyed Girl, and Desire.

Some who believed Sector’s set was too short started a small riot, burning several tents and picnic tables in a display in disappointment. Park officials said they did not intervene as the campsite's fire ban was not in effect between the hours of 8pm - 1am.

Cross posted at Mitchieville

Friday, August 10, 2007

New release this week

With the Taste of the Danforth on this weekend I'm left to ponder my good fortune of not living in that area and having idiots cut off access to my driveway, urinate on my flower bed, and have sex on my front porch. However I still feel the pull to the sweet burning smells of souvlaki and so will you with this next recommendation: Ultimate Spinach by The Box. And to think Sector was supposed to open for them once....*shudder*

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Who the hell is that?

It's time for another edition of "Who the Hell is That?", a.k.a. "Pottahockey".

This time "Who the Hell is That" asks, "Who the hell is that". Is it:

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

There is no joy at Strangedaze

To most people today was Tuesday, a day to return to work after a long weekend of speeding up to the cottage, having drinking competitions with your liver and crawling home bumper to bumper. It was garbage day. It was another day where bills had to be paid and the rent had to be earned. It was hot. It was just Tuesday.

To me, it was my Uncle John's funeral. A funeral that sadly, I was unable to attend because I was camping over the past five days and he passed away last Thursday.

I know people lose family members everyday and their grief is no less. Yet I can't help feeling the loss here is greater. Sure John fought a courageous battle with cancer and it should have taken him a few years ago. And sure, some would say he lived a long life, fathered four children, had grandchildren and experienced the world to the fullest. Yet, for all his achievements some will now not come to fruition.

You see, Uncle John was a great story teller and in the last years of his life he set out to write many of those stories in a book. Pages of which he entrusted to me for my opinion from a novel that will never see completion. His stories were not only rich with detail, they were side-splittingly hilarious- funnier than I could ever hope to be.

In time I will endeavor to reproduce some his material on these pages. I some how feel he would not be displeased, for Uncle John loved to make people laugh.

However for all his mirth, today there is no joy at Strangedaze.

Goodbye Uncle John.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tasteless cartoon of the week

With the rampant arson that has plagued T.O. of late I thought this might be appropriate?

Friday, August 03, 2007

New release this week

Before you go digging through the cupboards looking for your Carabana firearm for this weekend, you need to get in the mood. This next offering should do the trick?

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Sector gossip

Whispers are Private Sector may play a surprise unplugged set this weekend at Sibbald Point provided drummer Brian Christopher has recovered from his drunken stupor when he enraged an entire nieghborhood with insensitive comments made up at the bands super secret rehearsal space last weekend.

Negotiations are ongoing with Sector's management team.

If this isn't exciting news then here are some more stolen pictures from Pottahawk.



Where's Johnny Wad #5